The Anonymous Confessions of My Lunatic Self

Earlston Edgar Dale - 1931 - 2011

2012-01-15T20:21:00.000-08:00

This weekend, I went up to Napa for my grandfather's funeral. He died on December 23. It was a rough year for my mom as her mom died in March and her dad in December. We spend the weekend (weekend being Wednesday-Sunday morning) with my step-grandmother. She was a great host -- very gracious and accommodating. Well, Saturday was memorial service and I was asked to coordinate a memorial service for him. It went very well. I'm going to post the eulogy here for your reading remembrance. Let's just say that I am drained -- emotionally, physically from the drive up and back, and mentally from being an extrovert for so long yesterday. I'm just not an extrovert.

It was nice to see family I haven't seen in a while though.

My eulogy for my grandfather, Earlston Edgar Dale:

Part 1 -- Welcome statement:
Today we are gathered here to celebrate the life of Earl Dale. I wanted to start off with a story he once told me about my mother.
It was summer of 1962. The kids were out of school and grandpa was at work. He received a call from home that day. It was my mom. She was 6 years old at the time and loved doing puzzles. Well, he said that she was hysterically crying on the other end of the phone call. “What’s wrong, honey?”
“Daddy, I’m smart, right?”
“Yes dear. What’s wrong?”
“Daddy, I’ve been working on this puzzle for an hour now and I haven’t been able to put two pieces
together.”
“What is it a picture of?”
“It’s a lion.”
“Well honey, keep working on it and I’ll help you out when I get home.”
Well, the day progressed as normal at work. When grandpa got home, there on the coffee table laid
the puzzle, no two pieces put together. My mom sat there with tears in her eyes. With a chuckle, he
walked over and picked up the box.
“Audrey, first, this is a lion, not a tiger. And now, would you please put the cereal back in the box.”

Earlston E. Dale, born Sept. 25, 1931, in Sugarette, N.M., passed away Friday, Dec. 23, 2011. He was 80.

Earlston worked for 35 years in the California State Mental Health System. He was a founding member of the California Association of Psychiatric Technicians (CAPT), serving as their first union president. His hobbies included gardening and bingo. Earl was funny, gregarious and full of joy. He owned more than 350 crazy hats and had a joke for everyone.

Earl is survived by his loving wife, Roz, whom he married on March 17, 1992; his sister, Marci
Dale Lockhart, his children, Stephen W. Dale, Concord, Calif., Kenneth D. Dale, Reno, Nev., Audrey
L. Escarzaga, Hemet, Calif., and Nina S. Jones, Sequim, Wash.; 10 grandchildren; and 19 great-
grandchildren.

He was preceded in death by his daughter, Ruthmarie Dale, and parents, Walter and Lita Dale.

-----------------------------------------

Part II: The Eulogy:

I was thinking of where I wanted to focus on in giving the eulogy for my
grandfather. How do you come up with some sort of semi-comprehensive speech
about the life of a man so complex and rich in personality without writing books
or spending days in conversation with those who love him best? Looking through
yearbooks and old pictures of him, it is safe to say that he marched to his own
rhythm. He played trombone. He loved a good joke. He was a great writer. He
loved silly hats. He loved to make those around him laugh. He looked snazzy in a
bow tie. He loved bingo, dancing and football. He loved to talk with anyone who
would give him the time of day and even those who wouldn’t.
If we look back on his life, you can see what was important to him by where he
invested his life. Grandpa was quite the investor.
He invested in the enjoyment of others. His silly hats and his jokes are
legendary. Grandpa always was ready with a smile and a story, sometime
true. Grandpa would say the way to remember a joke was to tell it to everyone
you met that day. He not only said it, he lived it. If you spent a day with him, you
would know the joke too.
I was talking to my kids about my grandfather and they remembered being able
to go into his hat room and play. It was a great time for them. While he collected
the hats, they never lost their original intent. The enjoyment was more important
than the items. He lived his life in that simple joy of watching others enjoy life.
He invested in people who could not invest in themselves. The Apostle Paul wrote
in 1 Corinthians, “Praise the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father
of mercies and the God of all comfort. He comforts us in all our affliction, so that
we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the
comfort we ourselves receive from God.” Grandpa worked 35 years for Mental
Health system. He worked as a psych tech, taking care of people in their greatest
time of need. This job took him from San Jose to San Bernardino, then to Sierra
County where he was the entire Mental Health Department. The story goes that
he was once reported to Patient’s Rights because he made one patient laugh so
hard from his jokes that she busted a stitch from a recent surgery. Not only did he
make them laugh, he took good care of them to where they would trust him before
anyone else.
He invested in his co-workers. Grandpa made sure that his people were taken
care of, being instrumental in the formation of the union to take care of Psych
Techs throughout the state. He served as the first president of the union, then as
the steward for years. His nature of talking served him well in this investment
– when management saw Earl Dale coming, wearing his derby, they knew
something was wrong and that he was there to fix it.
He invested in his family. Early in his family life, Grandpa was known to work
three jobs to make ends meet – having 5 kids with bottomless stomachs. But all
this time on the job did not stop him from knowing his family. On trips to sell
Fuller Brushes, he would often take one of the kids with him, traveling from house
to house. The kid would spend the day in the car as Grandpa went door to door
selling brushes. It was time fondly remembered.
When he learned that he was going to be a great-grandfather, he put together
a complete family history spanning generations, to make sure that the future
generations would remember those who came before. He passed on his qualities
to his children and grandchildren. I stand before you today an example of what he
passed on – not just his receding hairline, his tastes in bad jokes and an ungodly
amount of body hair in places that it doesn’t belong, but in his love for life, his love
for people, and his love for his family. Earl Dale’s life on this Earth ended too soon
but is a life well-lived. I can imagine Grandpa walking the streets of gold today
with Jesus chuckling, saying, “tell me that one about Andy again. That one never
gets old.” May he rest in peace.

------------------------

We buried Grandpa's ashes in a park in Napa right behind the State Hospital where he worked for so many years. He was buried with his favorite derby hat.

The annual birthday post

2011-10-05T00:07:00.000-07:00

Sure, it's a few days away but I've got to ask, do these 37 years make me look old.Man, I'm going to be 37.

What's happening?

Micah, my son, just turned 10.

That is scary enough.I guess I started thinking a couple of weeks ago about how I am going to be 37. In my mind, I never figured I'd make it to 74, so I thought about how I may be half way done with my life. Yeah, pleasant thought. So I started to think of all the things I've wanted to do before my time was done. This was the list I came up with on Facebook:
1. Be a better dad. Less computer time, more reading time.
2. Finish my BA. Find the money to do so.
3. Get that Challenger program up and running with Steve Bailey up at North Rialto.
4. Get involved with Children's Ministry.
5. Be a better umpire. Go to umpire school.
6. Go see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat live.
7. Stop procrastinating, some.

I've since added one more in my head -- Take part in National Novel Month. I have a story in my head. I have the outline. I told the story to my kids last year at Christmas and they enjoyed it. So I have been starting to do some research to give some legitimacy to the novel. They say outlines and notes are encouraged. They don't want the story already told though. My problem is the story is a familiar one taken from a different view so the ending is known already. The journey is going to be the adventure.

#1-- I have been working on it. I am still not as successful as I want to be but I have been working on it. It is better and always on my mind.
#2 -- Haven't started looking at it yet.
#3 -- I started making calls today. Talked to Western Regional. Talked to the city of Colton. Looked at a map for some fields and have some ideas. Our original idea of Rialto Western isn't going to work since Rialto Pony uses the field now. Saw a couple places in Rialto and Bloomington which may be appropriate also.
#4 -- I'm working at it. I'm teaching Sunday School. This Sunday, I am doing a baptism at our church for one of the kids in my Sunday School class -- the first baptism at our church since our family has been going. I was really surprised when Pastor Albert asked me if I would do it. Really, really surprised. But really happy too. I'm looking at the doors that God is opening at Palm and outside of Palm, especially with the Little League stuff -- a chance to meet people who need to know Jesus and an opportunity for me to be that example.
#5 -- I signed up for umpire school, February 11-17, 2012. Looking forward to in immensely. I am really going to have to start a workout program so I am in umpire shape in February instead of waiting until the new season and getting into umpire shape 3-4 weeks in.
#6 -- Haven't really looked into it. If it comes up somewhere, I'll look into it but it's not really a high priority right now.
#7 -- I'm working on it... mostly tomorrow.
So #8 is the novel. I'm thinking and reading and researching. November should be a fun month.

I've also joined the church softball team. We had a double header on Sunday night after AWANA. Getting to know a bunch of the guys at church in a different way. It was interesting though. I haven't played softball since I worked at Safelite some 10 years ago. I wasn't very good. So I wasn't expecting much on Sunday. Well, I ended up going 8-9 in the double header (the one out was the last out of the second game.) I played a pretty decent first base. One of my hits was a bomb to dead center that went over people's heads (second game.) From then on, they were scooting everyone back when I came to bat, so I sprayed the ball to the games, mainly on the right side of the field. It was fun. I should have had a triple on that blast but I'm not in umpire shape, much less run out a triple on a blast shape, so I made it halfway to third and turned around to get a double. At one point I slid into second quite ugly and scrapped up my calf and knee. The field burn is quite ugly. Like I said, though, I am not in softball shape so I have been sore for 2 days now. Have to start stretching and getting into better shape. Let's make that one #9.

Am I doing too much at one time? Probably, but I feel that I need to make up for lost time, that these aren't just my dreams that I concocted on my own but feel they are passions and desires that are God-given and will bring Him glory. That I must keep in mind when striving for any dream (thanks Doug.)

So, 37. Yeah, I'm getting years. I'm no spring chicken, but as a wise man once said, youth and exuberance is no match for age and treachery. Time to treacher on.

Dear Girl Scouts,

2011-05-04T14:21:00.001-07:00

An open letter to the Girl Scouts Council of San Gorgonio, (As I don't know if the same thing happens in other councils, but I'm suspecting it does as money and power make many people drunk,)
I am sad to inform you that my wife and I have decided that your organization is not the right place for our daughter to be a part of. This decision comes with a heavy heart but one clear and free of impulsive emotions. I wanted to let you know why we have come to this decision.
There are many things that my daughter has learned from Girl Scouts. She has learned that hard work can earn her rewards. She has learned that there are people out there who do care about her outside of her parents. She has learned how to be part of a group and what it takes to do what is right for the better of the group.
She has also learned that there are parents out there who will lie and cheat to make sure that their daughter gets ahead, no matter what it costs others. She has learned that sometimes bad people get away with being evil because no one with power really cares except to cover their own backside. She has learned that people are mean. She has learned that people only care about themselves too much of the time, no matter if it hurts other people. She has learned that it is good to question authority because the authority doesn't matter and only her desires are what matters.
I thank God that my wife and I are there to intercept and correct some of the things she has learned from your organization.
My wife has given so much of herself over the last 6 months that she has been the leader of this troop that should have been dissolved with the former administration with insufficient support from the local council. She has jumped through hoops to do what was demanded. She has battled with MS to make sure that the girls came out on top. She has sat back and taken abuse from spoiled, disrespectful parents who were looking out only for themselves and their daughters, teaching my daughter that sometimes it is better to do what is best for the whole than for the one.
My daughter is heartbroken about this decision but we, as her parents, feel it is better for her to suffer a little heartbreak now than to have to deal with the heartbreak of learning that there are people out there that really don't care about her and would stomp on her just to make sure that their daughter, their power or their position are protected.
I have attached a picture of my car that was burned after it was stolen. I hope this is sufficient evidence that it was indeed stolen (along with the police report that she turned into you). I expect your written apology soon for accusing her that we lied about the theft of my vehicle, with enclosed Girl Scout paperwork. Your handling of this situation really left a lot to be desired in personal relations.
I wish you the best and pray that one day someone will do what is best for the girls instead of what is best for cookie sales and the bottom line.
Tony

The Death of Osama

2011-05-01T23:16:00.000-07:00

I know my opinion about the death of Osama Bin Laden means very little to anyone but me but I'm going to put it out there anyways.

I don't know what to feel about this. I am torn between the patriotic feelings of our country getting justice against a man who did an ultimate evil against our citizens. I am glad that those who lost loved ones can feel a little bit of closure.

My initial feeling though was that people were going to feel vindicated, that people were going to get drunk of the wine of revenge. He took 3000+ of ours in one shot, more soldiers since that day and now has "gotten his."

Ultimately, my initial reaction was that here was a man that everyone hated and wanted dead but one that God loved, despite his sin, and that he now has to answer for what he did, not for killing so many people, but for what he did with God's love and His Son. He has led so many astray, children, men and women. He has funded hatred for so long.

His death may have closed a chapter but a war is not done yet. This may re-energize those who have been in hiding for so long. "Martyrs" tend to do that. I pray that our government will do it's one job well -- to protect her people from foreign threat.

I don't feel peace from this, nor do I feel additional terror. I have peace despite it -- yesterday the same as tomorrow.

Girl Scout Law: It's not just for Girl Scouts Anymore

2011-04-29T07:44:00.000-07:00

The Girl Scout Law

I will do my best to be
honest and fair,
friendly and helpful,
considerate and caring,
courageous and strong, and
responsible for what I say and do,
and to
respect myself and others,
respect authority,
use resources wisely,
make the world a better place, and
be a sister to every Girl Scout.

So...
Last night my wife attended the Girl Scout Troop meeting without my daughter for a parent meeting. In it, she was pretty much blamed for the troop being a mess and was asked summarily to stop being the troop leader as of May 15th. Yeah, they knew that she was going to leave at the end of the year anyway to start a new troop that didn't have all the baggage that this one has. They are starting the new year planning then and don't think that having Trina in a position of leadership will help their cause.
They are also planning on changing the troop number because it is a "new troop". Here is where my problem is. We, as parents, want to teach our girls how to be respectful. We want them to respect authority, have integrity, have character, know what is right and wrong, and be a sister to all other Girl Scouts world wide. Let me give some people a clue -- if you want your kids to have these qualities, you better start having them yourself.
This troop's biggest problem is not Trina. It's not a bad administration before her. It's not that they have too much money. It's not that they lost all their paperwork when my car was stolen. It's that there are too many parents in this troop who have no integrity, who will step on all the rest of the girls in the troop to make sure that their child gets her fair share and more, curse the rest and laugh. These parents have no integrity.
I posted on facebook a while back about a parent who took her granddaughter out to another council area and started selling cookies out there before that council was allowed to sell cookies, a gross violation of the rules that could have resulted in the entire troop losing all cookie sales and she knew better. But it was ok because she was getting her sales no matter what else happened to anyone else.
Last week, there was an Easter egg hunt at the troop with one egg having a "Golden Ticket" to get an Easter basket instead of the just the candy in the egg. Well, there were more eggs than kids at the meeting so a couple of the parents had to go out and pick up 7 eggs to make it that everyone got 5 eggs each. One of the parents accidentally picked up the golden ticket egg, so she put it back down and picked up another one. When the girls start to come out, she makes sure to tell her daughter, "Go pick up that green one." Integrity. If I would have found the egg during a random pick up, I close it up and toss it to the middle of the field, none the wiser of what I found and wish every girl the best in finding it. But this parent thought that their daughter deserved the basket more than any of the other girls and had to cheat.
So, when my wife is no longer the troop leader of this troop come May 15th, outside I will sympathize with her and console her. Inside, I will be rejoicing because she gets the opportunity to start her own troop and not have to deal with a group of ungrateful, lying, selfish, ingrate parents who are teaching their girls to be the same. If you want your child to be honest and fair, friendly and helpful, and a sister to every Girl Scout, how about trying it yourself.

The more I think about it, the more I'm bothered

2011-04-12T17:30:00.001-07:00

So, in case you don't follow me on facebook, let me set out the entire situation as it occurred.

Thursday night is Girl Scout night around our house. Trina, being a girl scout troop leader, has a box full of paperwork for the Girl Scouts, including contact information, permission slips, money, etc. So, getting home Thursday night, she was suffering from MS fatigue and asked me to make sure I bring in her box. Not a problem, I thought. She made sure to lock it. I went out later to get something for her in the van. I double-checked to make sure it was locked. It was 10 pm.
As I was getting the kids ready to go to school, we walked out of the house to get into my car. It was in the driveway. But then, it wasn't. I walked back into the house, "Where's my car?" It wasn't there. It wasn't parked on the street. It wasn't down the street. It was gone. So the kids have to go to school. We jump in the van real quick and I take them. Meanwhile, my wife calls the sheriff department to report the stolen car.
I get back and decide that I can't go to work that day because we were going to have to take care of a lot of stuff. Sheriff shows up and begins to interview us. The car was in my wife's name so they asked her for her license. It was at this point that we realized that her wallet was in the car still.
So, while the sheriff interviewed my wife, I began calling banks to cancel her card. I call GEICO to report the theft. Of course, we didn't have comprehensive on a 15 year old car bought for $1600 as the cost/benefit analysis proved that was a gamble worth taking (we lost) so they can't help at all. My home insurance couldn't cover anything because we have $1000 deductible there and we didn't lose $1000 worth of stuff.
So, now the list of stuff in the car in order of importance:
1) My wife's wallet and purse
2) All the Girl Scout's information
3) My umpire gear
4) My favorite shirt
5) About $50 in tools
6) My umpire uniforms and hats
7) My Denver Bronco sticker
8) My razor
9) A plug/car charger converter
10) My license plate frame that says, "I'd rather be behind home."
11) About 4 years worth of collecting HeroClix
12) About $2.50 in change
13) Some Axe Deodorant
Well, after going to the DMV to get a new license, cancelling all the bank cards, taking care of what we could, spending $280 to sign the entire family up for LifeLock immediately (since all the kids' social security cards were in my wife's wallet.)
So Friday night we have no idea where the car is. Of course, driving down the street I'm looking at every car driving the other way to see if it was my car. No luck (of course.)
Saturday morning, I take Micah out to his baseball game. Right before it starts, I get a call from the police department saying they found the car. Great! Oh there's bad news. It was burned. I don't know how bad. They give me the phone number for the tow truck company that has the car. I'm able to call them and they would send someone out to look at the car but I couldn't go look unless I wanted to pay the $100 to open the gate or wait until Monday to see it for free (plus all the fees.) We'll wait for Monday.
Sunday is our day to go look at cars. We go to CarMax and figure out that the number we're looking to pay is not going to be possible. So we figure out that we are going to need to go up a little and figure out a way to come up with more funds (anyone need a part-time secretary/child care specialist/warehouse guy/umpire?) We ended up with a 2006 PT Cruiser for $318 a month. That's going to be hard but God has provided before and He's been pretty faithful.
Monday finally comes. I'm going to show up late for work that day to take care of all the car stuff. We went to the police department for the release. Then we go down to tow yard, pay $365 ($235 for towing fees and a ton for storage fees of a dead car) and go take a look at the car. List of stuff in the car that we were able to identify:
1) The Girl Scout Information burned so it wasn't taken
2) All the car parts were in tact, including radio.
3) A couple of Umpire shirts that were in the back. We've washed them a couple times and they still stink pretty good.
4) My license plate frame is fully functional! It goes on the PT!
5) The Bronco Sticker, rolled up and burned to a crisp.
That's about it. I wasn't able to recognize anything else.
So, from talking to others about it, someone probably stole it, went and robbed a liquor store or something, parked the car out in Loma Linda (behind the Del Taco on Waterman and Barton,) burned it to hide any evidence and used my umpire bag and wife's girl scout tote to fill with the loot. I went to where the car was found and it looked like the trash truck came that morning (Monday) to empty the dumpster so I wasn't able to find anything.
So I was ok with everything. Then I start to think about how the tools my wife and I use to volunteer for things we care for were all stolen. Then I start thinking about what kind of jerks would do that, take stuff that ultimately is going to hurt kids, not just our 4 but all the kids we work with. What kind of jerks would steal a car to rob a place and try to get it to point back to us if the car was seen driving away? Why did this happen to our family!? Getting more and more upset.
I have to change my perspective though. They didn't steal my car, my umpiring gear, my razor, my wife's stuff. These are all ministries that God has given us outside of the church to work with the lost and be a positive influence, showing God's love in everyday life. They stole God's stuff. But that's the great thing. God has a lot more stuff than they can ever steal -- stuff they couldn't steal if they wanted to -- because God wants to give it away. Maybe one day I'll find some of my umpiring stuff hiding in a pawn shop. Maybe I'll inadvertently run into these guys who did this, not knowing it was them. I hope that they will feel the love that God has given me all these years through me despite what they did. God loves them. I may not be happy with them but my anger and hurt isn't going to hurt them. I won't get even by holding a grudge. In the end, God is good. All of the time.

When games get SERIOUS!!!!

2011-01-16T23:12:00.000-08:00

You know, as one who likes the multi-player games of the world, I have run into a couple of people who take these games far more seriously than they should. I like them. I play them. I hate it when I miss out on something but it is not the end of the world. I'll just run into someone who takes themselves and the game way too seriously sometimes. It happens a lot on fighting-type head-to-head games. Tactics Arena was that way too many times. Runescape, with it's PvP areas was pretty bad at times. And now it happened again on a facebook wrestling game. The problem here is that it happened in a place that I am responsible for maintaining. So I cleaned it up. I did what I needed to do to take care of the situation, much to the chagrin of the one who took the whole situation way too personally and seriously. I guess these situations come up more often in these 1 on 1 type games because of the type of people who play these games for the most part -- people who want to make sure that you know that they are more intelligent or more diligent or have more time to play these type of games than you do and you are not worthy to buckle their +5 speed sandals.
I like my games but always have to keep them in the realm of just that -- games. Some people are going to be better than I am and some are going to be worse. If I ever take it more seriously than that, someone slap me silly.

So a thought occurred to me

2011-01-14T22:27:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been a while since I posted here. Sorry for the delay for those who care :)
This morning I was driving to work when a random thought came to me about what would happen if Jesus came back to take his church today and how would the world explain it away. I think the Left Behind books say it was some kind of weird environmental thing that just vaporized some people and leave it at that. That seems weird to me. Then the thought came to me...

How many people would still go to church on Sunday as if nothing happened? How many churches would continue on with little change as some of their members may be missing but the majority is still here?

This isn't a blanket criticism of the church as I am a member of one, as well as a member of the universal church, but I have to take this to heart about myself. Am I ready? I am brought back to the 10 virgins waiting for the bridegroom and how 5 had to go search for lamp oil only to miss the coming of the groom. I think about how Jesus said that He will tell many that He never knew them even though they performed miracles in His name. I think about Jesus separating the sheep and the goats based on their responses to those around them and how they showed love to their neighbors. About how a real faith lives in real works and not in feel-good statements.

If Jesus were to come back today, would the number taken be so small as not to make a difference in our nation? Am I ready or am I lukewarm?

Some People Think Our State Is Square

2010-06-04T09:16:00.000-07:00

If you have been keeping up with my facebook account, you'll know that Trina and I are in Colorado on vacation. Yesterday was our 10th anniversary. It's been a great 10 years.
We've been having fun up here, driving around, looking at sights. On Tuesday, we went white water rafting. It was fun but my body is still paying the price for it. I think part of it is the lingering effects of the car crash on Sunday where my back in sending little jolts up electricity up my spine nearly everytime I sit down. Of course, this may be aggrevated from when I broke my tail bone some 4 years ago and it may have set wrong -- but what do I do about that? In reality, I need to get some of the pressure off my back by losing some of the weight up front.
But back to white water rafting. It was fun. It was interesting putting your well being into the hands of someone else who is experienced, but in reality, is just as likely to fall out as anyone else. In fact, we had a three rafts of guide trainees with us and one of the trainees fell out of the raft. By the grace of God, Trina and I stayed in the raft. Of course, when we ended, I could barely stand up with my hip feeling like I was Jacob after wrestling with God and had to walk with a limp from then on. I think I'll heal though.
Yesterday, June 3rd, our anniversary, was by far our busiest day out here. We started up waking up at way too early in the morning and then leaving our room about 7 am. We drove down a couple of windy Colorado mountain highways with many beautiful sites along the road, until we finally emptied out of the mountains into Boulder. It was like... poof! You're in Boulder.
In Boulder, we went to the Celestrial Seasons Tea Factory. It was a good tour but not quite up to Jelly Belly standards. Of course, the Peppermint room was mind blowing -- or more like senses blowing. It invaded every sense with it's strength.
After the factory, we started looking for Mile High Comics. One of my friends told me it was in Boulder, so we looked it up on our phone and headed to Denver. This lead us to... their distribution warehouse. Oops. So we drove around Denver. We drove downtown, saw Coors Field (Rockies), then through downtown where I had my first geek-out moment of the day -- we passed through the intersection of Colifax and Broadway, made famous to me by the Five Iron Frenzy song, "From 0 to 15". Around the capital building, through downtown, and then to Invesco Field at Mile High (Broncos). We ended up taking a stadium tour (second geek-out moment) which lasted about an hour and got to walk down to the field (Staying off the grass.) Cool pictures to be posted later.
Spending some time in the team store, we finally took off on our quest to find a brick and mortar Mile High Comics store. We finally found it. It was ok. The guy behind the counter was saying they really do most of their business online now so none of the 4 B&M stores are too big anymore. But it was cool to find it. It looked like... a comic book store.
So we started considering dinner. My sister recommended a place that she saw on Man vs. Food called, "The Buckhorn Exchange Restaurant". So we found it. It is in the projects of Denver now. The building looks 117 yeas old. It was 4:30 and dinner service started at 5:30. So around 5 we head in (after 45 minutes of driving through Denver looking at houses and a lake.) We go in and they require reservations. Bummer. So we go upstairs to look at the saloon. I end up going back down and asking about how long reservations should be in advance. He tells me between 24-48 hours, but since it was just the two of us, he'd sneak us in. I didn't even need to play the anniversary card.
Let me say that this was, by far, absolutely the best restaurant I have ever eaten in. The menu looks like an old newspaper with a bunch of the history of the restaurant. The walls are lined with pictures of people who have eaten here, guns, mounted heads and full body animals, stories of Wild Bill Cody and Teddy Roosevelt, and history. Amazing. Then the two person steak came out. By far the best steak I've ever had. The buffalo noodle soup was fantastic. If you come to Denver just for this restaurant, you've made a good trip. Wow.
So now, it's Friday and I'm waiting for Laundry to dry. After the full day yesterday, now we are resting until we go drive trail ridge road up in the Rockies. Sounds like fun.
The problem with vacations is that they end way too early, but I am looking forward to seeing my kids again. Still, I have been enjoying my wife. Marriage is good.

RIP And Awards

2010-05-30T21:04:00.000-07:00

I never even named her. She was reliable. She was fun to drive. She had a bed that did lots of work. She was my truck. It was a 2002 GMC Sonoma, SLS and she is no longer in my care. She has gone to meet the great GEICO in the sky.
We were in an accident this afternoon. We were turning left across a four lane road (2 each side). There was no turn lane. On the other said of the road, there was a car turning left to go the opposite way we were heading. It looked clear. As we turned, another car suddenly appeared in the next lane. I don't think it zoomed and changed lanes. It was just in my blind spot hiding behind the car turning. And it hit us. Right in the passenger side front tire area. The truck is totaled. Trina bumped her head on the window but seems to be ok. My truck, though, is gone.
I'm ok. I was laughing and talking on the phone shortly after the accident. Fun stuff.
Well, God knows what he is doing though. Of course, 6 hours later now, I am sore.
We were out getting ready for an AWANA awards night. This is a celebration of what God has done this year in the lives of these kids who have been studying His Word. It was a very good ceremony. I almost cried only once tonight while preaching, so that's a good thing. I'm going to see if I can throw the sermon up here somewhere as an attachment if you want to read it. I did steal the idea from Raising a Modern Day Joseph, a book by Larry Fowler that really has revolutionized the way I am raising my kids. But God worked tonight.
We had one kid who finished every book that AWANA has for grades 3-12 grade this year. In fact, he pushed, studied, struggled and stayed motivated to learn all the verses, 1000 of them, from the 14 books in 2 months. That's motivating.
We are on our way out of town for a week in 10 hours. It should be a good week in Colorado if I am not as sore as I am now. A week of vacation is just what the doctor ordered.
RIP my poor Sonoma. I figured out what I want to pray for now. I am praying for another GMC Sonoma, stick shift, green this time with an extended cab. So, if you know of anyone giving this truck away for God, let me know.

You Make Every New Day Seem So New

2010-05-29T13:14:00.000-07:00

Just recently, my favorite group of all time released a documentary of their career. It is called, "The Rise and Fall of Five Iron Frenzy." If you are a fan of FIF, you have to go out and get it. The main disk is a 3 hour documentary going year by year of what was happening with the band. It is a great documentary. But the part that any FIF fan has to get is the bonus disk, which has 5 music videos, a bunch of short films that they band did in their spare time just to have fun and most importantly, 3 live concerts -- including the live 2 hour concert from the Filmore in Denver, CO in November, 2003 -- the band's final show.
If you were to ask me my favorite song of all time, it is a FIF song. It's the first song on the music player below called, "Every New Day" and it is their final song of every concert played. If I'm in the right mood, it'll make me cry. It makes me want to get up and jump around. It makes me scream, "HA HA!" as loud as I can when I'm driving down the road to sing along. It is the definitive song of my life.
I grew up with Five Iron Frenzy. I didn't realize how much I grew up with them until they came out with the song, "I May Be Old (But At Least I'm Not Like All Those Other Old Guys)" In it, he mentions that he's 29 years old -- the same age I was when I first heard the song. It's amazing how their songs move right along with my life. It's like you could play the CD's along as a sound track for my life. But in the end, there's always "Every New Day." No matter how bad it gets, no matter how lost I seemed, God was always there making every new day seem so new. He was giving me a new hope.
I do go through my phases with them on my playlist but I still find it amazing that songs I loved in my young 20's are still relevant, still tug at my heart, make me laugh, cry, dance, sing, yell, skank and enjoy life. The power of music, but more important, I believe, is that it is the power of God working through a group of 8 kids in Denver, Colorado who went through struggles, doubts, disbelief, love, breakups, and the normal, everyday things that I went through (me without the pink hair.) So these 7 years after Five Iron Frenzy broke up, I get to watch their concerts on DVD and reminiscence on a simpler time in life where I lived and had a soundtrack.
Make sure you listen to "Every New Day" below.
"Every New Day"
Lyrics:
When I was young, the smallest trick of light,
Could catch my eye,
Then life was new and every new day,
I thought that I could fly.
I believed in what I hoped for,
And I hoped for things unseen,
I had wings and dreams could soar,
I just don't feel like flying anymore.
When the stars threw down their spears,
Watered Heaven with their tears,
Before words were spoken,
Before eternity.
Dear Father, I need you,
Your strength my heart to mend.
I want to fly higher,
Every new day again.
When I was small, the furthest I could reach,
Was not so high,
Then I thought the world was so much smaller,
Feeling that I could fly.
Through distant deeps and skies,
Behind infinity,
Below the face of Heaven,
He stoops to create me.
Dear Father, I need you,
Your strength my heart to mend.
I want to fly higher,
Every new day again.
Man versus himself.
Man versus machine.
Man versus the world.
Mankind versus me.
The struggles go on,
The wisdom I lack,
The burdens keep pilling
Up on my back.
So hard to breathe,
To take the next step.
The mountain is high,
I wait in the depths.
Yearning for grace,
And hoping for peace.
Dear God...
Increase.
Healing hands of God have mercy on our unclean souls once again.
Jesus Christ, light of the world burning bright within our hearts
forever.
Freedom means love without condition, without a beginning or an end.
Here's my heart, let it be forever Yours,
Only You can make every new day seem so new.

Protection

2010-05-28T09:16:00.000-07:00

This morning, I read Psalm 91 before I start working on my sermon for Sunday Night as a devotional time. Psalm 91 is written by Moses and covers how God protects his own. Two of the verses in Psalm 91, verses 11-12, are verses that Satan twists around to tempt Jesus to jump from the top of the temple to see if God will protect him from hurting himself - to which Jesus replies that we are not to test God.
I look back in my life to see the protection that God has afforded me. I probably don't see the physical protection as much because I didn't get into those auto accidents, or have near misses to great bodily harm that I see. I do see how God, through the years of being a prodigal son, has protected me from activity that would cause me to be ineffective in any ministry or with my family. I don't know if it is a normal teenage thing, but boy, when I was 17, I would have loved to hook up with a girl and be immoral. I don't think I could have gone through with it because of the guilt associated with it, as well as the Holy Spirit prodding me to steer clear. His protection was with me.
I spent 4 years in the Navy with some rather Navy-like guys, even in a chaplain's department. For 3 of those years, I was the designated walker, staying with my friends in the bar to make sure they made it back safe, especially in foreign countries. God kept me out of the bottle and ruining my life that way. His protection was with me.
I remember walking around the United Arab Emirates by myself in the middle of the day just checking out the town of Dubai in 1994. I walked around Mazatlan by myself. I walked around Singapore, Perth, Hobart, Honolulu, Hong Kong, Ecuador, Panama City by myself numerous times. I walked in Philadelphia at ten at night through the South side looking at stuff from the Rocky movie by myself. Through all this, I was not by myself apparently. His protection was with me and kept me from harm, from being on a tape with terrorist, from getting lost (too badly) and from falling and injuring myself. God has protected me all my life, through when I was walking with him and when I was trying to run away.
Looking back at the protection God has granted me all these years, I can't help but wonder about the plans God continues to have for my life. There is more to this life for me than food, sleep and computer. I pray that God refills me, my energy, my excitement, my passion and uses me for His glory.

Vacation

2010-05-27T06:55:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day of work. For eleven days. I am taking 6 days of vacation to get 11 days off. That's a nice deal. It helps that there are 2 weekends and Memorial day in there, but it's very nice. During this time, we are leaving the kids with grandma and my wife and I are taking our first prolonged, alone vacation ever. We had a one day honeymoon because she had to be back at work on Monday since she was on probation with her new job. We took a week vacation a few years back where we spent 3 days at a hotel across the street from Disneyland with the kids (2 at this point), then spent a day at home on staycation, then drove up to San Francisco for 2 days of alone vacation. This one, we are getting away from it all. Leave on Monday, come back Sunday night.
Next Thursday will be our 10th anniversary. It's been bliss. It's been blisters. It's been an adventure. And now we are rewarding ourselves for the journey thus far, and hopefully strengthening our marriage for the next 63 years. (When I originally asked Trina to marry me, I asked her for the next 75 years, so when I'm 98, we have to get remarried. I hope it will be ok that I'll be marrying a 93 year old hottie and not robbing the cradle.)
So, my plan is pretty much radio silence next week while we are gone. If you don't hear from me for a week, know that I am ok and enjoying myself and enjoying my wife. Thank you for helping us make it for the last 10 years and we look forward to the rest of our lives together, growing, raising our kids, and falling more and more in love with each other.
My daughter is trying to read this. That is the problem with teaching kids how to read. You can't keep things as secret anymore. The problem really comes when you can't spell things out over their head anymore. Then it's a matter of talking away from them so they can't hear the planning stages but still get the full effect of the outcome :)

The End of the World as We Know It

2010-05-26T07:22:00.000-07:00

Well, to qualify this post, let me start off with a verse.

1 Corinthians 9:25-27 (Amplified Bible)

25Now every athlete who goes into training conducts himself temperately and restricts himself in all things. They do it to win a wreath that will soon wither, but we [do it to receive a crown of eternal blessedness] that cannot wither.

26Therefore I do not run uncertainly (without definite aim). I do not box like one beating the air and striking without an adversary.

27But [like a boxer] I buffet my body [handle it roughly, discipline it by hardships] and subdue it, for fear that after proclaiming to others the Gospel and things pertaining to it, I myself should become unfit [not stand the test, be unapproved and rejected as a counterfeit].

Ok, 3 verses.

I'm fat. I have actually got up to 300 pounds lately and it's not good. I tried walking up a hill this weekend and couldn't make it since I was weezing and too tired to make it. This was a hill I made it up just 4 years ago. My body hasn't deteriorated that much in 4 years to make it so I couldn't make it -- it's because my extra weight. It is time to start buffeting my body and bring it under submission. It just isn't about the weight though. It is about my love affair with food to the point of food being my idol.
I am going to take an experiment. I believe I must have an intolerance to dairy because I will eat some cheese or drink milk and not too long later, my insides are all torn to pieces. But I have dealt with that because I love the taste of cheese. Cheese is #4 on my list of favorite food. #1 is shrimp. #2 is pineapple. #3 is cheesecake and #4 is cheese. Yes, I have thought about this.
So to see if I do have lactose intolerance, I am going to seriously cut the amount of cheese I eat to almost nothing if not out all together. It is time to start disciplining my body and make it slave instead of me being the slave of my hungers and desires.
In time, if this experiment works and my insides are spared the racing, I may end up starting to take LactAid or whatever else lactose assistance pills, but I'll self-diagnose first. That's something else I'll have to work on later. After all, Luke was a doctor.
I need to start walking again at work.

Has it been a year? Really?

2010-05-25T06:57:00.000-07:00

Wow, I just read my last post and I'm confused by it. What was I talking about? Was something that important to me that I now do not remember what it was?

It has been a while since I posted here. I have a confession to make. I, like so many times before, got drawn into something and forgot who I am. This time, it was comedy music. It is something I enjoy immensely and may, when the time is right, start up again but not to the level I was at. Moderation. Right now, though, it is cold turkey. I have got to get my priorities straight once again.

My wife brought up a good point about this a few weeks ago. With all of the songs I wrote, nothing was for kids. If that is where I enjoy being, why don't I write some songs geared towards them. They can be funny. I am thinking about that now.

Why the sudden change? This weekend, I went to a Men's Retreat with my church. For Friday and Saturday, not much got through to me. I listened, but really it seemed like a lot of old hat since I have heard, and have taught, the passages being covered about the life of Elijah. The story of Elijah on Mt. Carmel is like my favorite action scene in the Bible. But something that was said on Monday got to me. It was small, something said in passing. The story was about Elijah, after Carmel, running down to Beersheba, then out to the wilderness so he could go find a tree to lie under and die. Twice, an angel comes to Elijah and feeds him food and water. The second time saying, "Eat, for the journey ahead is too much for you." Elijah would have died without the provision of the Lord there. Then the speaker turned and said, "If you have lost your excitement, are you eating the Lord's provisions?"

A couple of weeks ago, my mom hosted a Veggietales sing-along at her church and I led. I was lackluster. My performance was flat and I just couldn't get excited. My life has been like that lately. I can't get excited about what is important to get excited about. I am drained and tired and lackluster and blase. I have too long tried to refresh my self with my own devices, be it baseball, comedy music, video games, work, working with kids, food, or whatever else is available and not gone to the well that will cause me to thirst no more.

So now, I ask for your prayers that God will continue to work through what He started Sunday, and 28 years before that, and restore unto me the joy of my salvation. I have been hiding in Sinai too long with God asking me what I am doing here.

... It pours

2009-05-07T09:04:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if the bad news ever stops coming...

First of all, God is good. I could be depressed right now, but I'm not. Plenty of reason to be, but I'm not and I give God the credit for that.

A friend of mine went to prison yesterday. I'm not going into the details, but I was able to spend some time with him on Tuesday night. I thought I was going to have to go in and try to reassure him that God has not abandoned him but God got a hold of him that morning and showed him that He had not abandoned him, which made for a much better evening :) "I was in prison and you came to me..."

Something else occurred to me last night and I hope it is the activity of an over-active imagination pushed one way a little too much. In my imagination, I picture myself having finally pulled my head out of the sand to see the knife about to be plunged into my back at the same time as a friend of mine is having the knife plunged into his. I know about the friend but it is not my place to save him because I do not have the authority and it is not definite yet (although it is close.) I see how they are treating him and turn around to see that the same thing may be happening behind my back. How safe am I?

Once I started putting pieces together last night, things started to make sense but I hope my sense is nonsense because of the implications. Perhaps I have burned too many bridges. Perhaps I have responded wrong too many times. Perhaps things are better off there without me. It all may be true, but if it is the case, I do wish someone would have the integrity to come to me and tell me to my face that this is the case. I am hoping, again, that my imagination is working overtime and this is all for naught. I am excited for the future and see great things that God can do and would love to be part of it.

Time to get to work and put the imagination away. I covet your prayers though.

When it rains...

2009-04-22T19:35:00.000-07:00

Right now, I wish it would rain. Holy cow, it's hot in Southern California.

Life is busy right now. The church is selling it's property and moving. Work is getting through a real busy season so it may calm down. Schools are getting to the end for the kids. T-ball and challenger leagues are up and running for Becca and Micah and umpiring is in full swing. Ah, the busy life. I enjoy it actually.

But then, the whole world can crash down anytime now. If you have been following Trina's blog (http://supermommiesbeautifullife.blogspot.com/), you know about her recent vision problems. You also know about a possible reason for it. Well, in case you haven't, Trina is being seriously tested to see if she has Multiple Sclerosis, or MS. Until recently, all I knew about MS is that Jerry Lewis raises money for it. From what I have heard from Trina, it doesn't look pretty.

Trina had a doctor's appointment today and they put her on a second medication (the first is doing funny things to her blood sugar, which messed up a blood test today apparently and makes her feel tingly all over) which I guess is usually for those who have a full-blown MS diagnosis. They haven't told her one way or the other definitively yet but might as well have with this.

Trina is such a great mom, a great person and my best friend. I don't know what to feel right now. It took me a while to get used to Micah's autism diagnosis -- not that I was in denial but that I didn't want to learn more about it, didn't want to learn of the full ramifications, or didn't want to deal with the emotional heap that was inside of me. I think I am on the verge of that same place with my wife and I can't hope she'll grow out of it or that I will grow into it like I did with Micah. We have too many responsibilities to our family to pretend it isn't happening.

So here I am confused, dumbfounded, and lost, not necessarily wanting to be found. I'll continue on the best I can, try to be a better husband and father, and try to change my attitude. If this is God's way of trying to get me to grow up, it's painful. Autism isn't enough but now there's MS. I hope and pray that the girls don't develop anything greater than cheerleaderism and twinism. Of course, I am only part of it -- there are a lot of people affected by this. But I know, through it all, that God is good. God is kind and merciful and the source of strength, peace, and compassion.

Oh yeah, after the appointment, Trina came home, told me a little bit, then took off to go hang out with our sister-in-law. On the way, she called me on her cell phone to tell me where she was going so I wouldn't worry and of course, got pulled over for talking on a cell phone while driving. On top of that, while in my car, I did not have current proof of insurance in the car (it is insured and there are tons of old copies of other policies, just not the current.) So that will be a dandy ticket when she has to report on Friday to court. Stupid nanny state. Yeah, she was breaking the law and deserves the ticket but I can complain about the law in the first place :D

Job 1:21
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."

Life in the Church has just gotten real interesting

2009-04-07T13:09:00.001-07:00

Last time I left you, I was in a quagmire. I'm better now. Thank you for your prayers. I see God working all around and He's got something BIG planned.

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know that Dale left our church in February to pastor a church in Hemet. Very sad times indeed. But right now, it is starting to become clear what is happening.

Last year, we were talking about a church who wanted to buy our church property. It was a Spanish speaking congregation, which makes sense in our current location since 80% of the people around the church are Hispanic, with a huge amount of them actually speaking only Spanish. We, as a church, were not equipped anymore to reach our immediate neighborhood. It was a time of excitement in our church. Was God going to do something here? We were hoping for between $4.4 Mil and $4.8 mil (listed at 4.8) The offer came in. They offered $2 Mil for just our sanctuary. How that was going to work, I don't know. It was a ridiculous offer that was impracticable. So we voted against it. The excitement drained. Dale was discouraged. It felt like we missed an opportunity. God was changing Dale's heart to make it where he would listen and move to where God had him for his next ministry -- Hemet. If we as a church would not have gone through that disappointment, I don't think Dale would have ever listened to God saying move.

So, when we voted no, we, as a church, agreed to put the church on the market in case this was God's way of making it so we would be open to it. We said we would actively place the property on the market until January, 2009. In the meantime, Dale feels God leading him away. He interviews out at Hemet, lets the staff know what God may be doing, and we are all in prayer. Dale gets called on February 15, 2009 to move away from FBC Fontana and be the new senior pastor at Hemet Valley Baptist Church.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. Our church financial officer and one of the trustees is a real estate agent. He is showing a church out in Western Fontana to another church because they are interesting in moving to a permanent building. Coincidence has it (or Divine providence...) that one of the people looking at the church property for this church is the sister-in-law of our financial secretary. The church they were looking at was too big (it is an old community hospital so it was large and with a $48 mil price tag.) She remembered that our property was on the market at one point, so she asked Jim about it. He said, well it was on the market but not anymore. She asked if they could take a look at it anyways. He agreed and brought them to our property. They looked around and loved it. They looked at the original listing, saw the $4.8 Mil listing price we had 10 months ago (and if you've been paying attention, property values have plummeted since then) and figured out that they could make an offer for the listed price.

Now was a matter of bringing it to our congregation. We are in the middle of electing a new pulpit committee when this gets tagged onto the end of a business meeting as a possibility. Kinda floored everyone (although I knew about it before hand... it still amazes me.) We had a second business meeting already planned for the following Sunday to vote on the nominees to the pulpit committee so the discussion was held until we had more information.

The second Sunday evening business meeting happens and we vote for a new pulpit committee. Then begins the discussion on do we as a church want to sell our property to this Spanish-Speaking church who is offering us full price on the property and move to a property in North Fontana where there are about 3 churches total, and only one with a building, merge with our mission church we started up there, and build on a property we had talked to the housing development company that owns it currently with their blessings because they want a church in the area, or do we stay where we are and change who we are to reach our community?

Back when we were first talking about moving up to North Fontana, we had a contingency come down from the California State Convention to do an assessment of our church, our congregation, and our demographics. They have decades of experience in making sure churches are healthy and capable of growth. They pointed out that they have never seen a better case of a church moving. They said we either move, stay and die, or stay and radically change. The fact that there are no Southern Baptist churches up there, much less any other churches of note, a Catholic church and a Muslim mosque are currently being built in the area, and the property company was willing to work with us just added to their message.

Back to the second Sunday. We began our business meeting at 6:30 pm. At 8:30 pm, the discussion was still hot and heavy. People were starting to get tired but no one wanted to leave. It was suggested that we open up the Wednesday night prayer service to continue the questions and that was accepted. Finally, we finished for the evening. Wednesday night has not seen so many people in quite a long time. More discussion.

Then comes Palm Sunday. In the morning we had the Easter cantata (I had a minor speaking part --- real minor. I played Simeon the man who waited in the Temple because God promised him he would not die until he saw the messiah -- a usual Christmas/Epiphany story but a good starting point for Easter.) In the evening, we had our third business meeting in that many weeks. It was only to vote on whether we were going to accept the offer or not. While the votes were being counted, we did 'All Music Night', a chance for anyone who wants to sing (my whole family sang 'Shine' and I mean everyone -- Becca, Micah, Ali, Zoe, Trina and I.) Finally, the vote came back. There were exactly 100 voting members at the meeting. The final tally was 86-14.

So, we're moving. I need to get some tubs to store all my stuff indefinitely because I probably won't have an office again in too long to mention if ever. That's ok though. God is working and his work is bigger than me having an office. AWANA will still happen, even when we are not in a building. I am starting to think how we need to do VBS outside in a park and where. We have recaptured some of that excitement that dissipated back in August with the bad offer.

Here's a link to the exact location we are looking at purchasing:
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=Lytle+Creek+Rd+%26+3+Mile+Rd,+Fontana,+CA+92336&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=50.37814,79.101563&ie=UTF8&ll=34.155444,-117.464554&spn=0.012962,0.019312&t=h&z=16

Just south of the property is a new housing development which is real nice. South of that is a huge community center, brand new, that we are talking with the city about to let us use as a place to meet for 2 years while we build on our property. South of that is Summit High School -- a nice location to build an incredible youth ministry. This is an incredible location, just off the 15 freeway (so we can put up a sign where people are constantly stopped on Friday evenings on their way to Vegas sharing Christ on an electronic marquee) and the area is still booming despite the recession. Construction costs are down. Property costs are down. We are going to be able to get more property and more building for less money than if we would have moved 10 months ago. God's timing is perfect.

Pray as we move that God will make the transition smoother than we hope for, the merging of two churches loving, and start opening hearts in the area.

Maewyn Succot - Happy St. Patrick's Day

2009-03-17T11:06:00.001-07:00

In the cave

2009-03-15T20:25:00.000-07:00

I have had a pretty frustrating day/week. There is so much going on around me that is pushing me down, making me feel like Jezebel is set to kill me if she ever gets to me. I feel like running to a cave and waiting to see what is there. I don't know what is right in my life right now because I see so much wrong.

I am not looking for a pity party. I look and see that I am at the point of my ministry being ruled ineffective. I have a hard time looking back and remembering my last Mt. Carmel. Was it VBS last year? Not really. I was disconnected. Perhaps it was VBS 2007. Has there been any successes?

Today was bad day. One of the kids I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs about how he needed extra attention had a really bad day. I lost control of the group. It doesn't help that 'the group' has shrunk to a very small number. AWANA has shrunk. Children's church has shrunk. Preschool and children's Sunday school have shrunk. I look and see that I have failed. I have not built the leadership structure around me, around the kids, to allow it to grow. And so, now I look and wonder if I can lead in this position, in this place. Have I been neutered to the point of ineffectiveness because of my actions, others attitudes, and loss of respect. I don't know.

I look at the things mounting up around me, my family, and wonder if God is closing doors. We are becoming outcasts. I've been there a long time already but things are starting to look grimmer. I look and wish the cave just to close up on me to save me sometimes. Where are my earthquakes, my fires, my strong winds and my still small voice to bring me back?

So I wonder. I sit and think about if the grass is greener on the other side. I think about if ministry is more open elsewhere and wonder if that's where God is leading. I don't think I'll get another position on staff, even voluntary like I am now, elsewhere because I don't have the degrees. Sure, I have the ordination paper and a preaching license, but right now, I doubt their presence.

In the end, though, I know that God, no matter what is going on in my life or how I feel, is good and that He loves me. I may feel the world is against me and that they are looking for the opportunity to strike me down when I'm not looking, but God is good.

I will persevere and wait on God to open doors, close doors, blow up doors, whatever He's going to do. In the end, it's not about me but about Him and how I can please Him and so I will continue on to work for that goal.

Attack of the Week

2009-03-13T17:12:00.001-07:00

It has been an interesting week and I had a bomb dropped on me to top it off.

First of all, my dad is in the hospital with apparent internal bleeding that they can't find and anemia. No fun for him. He's been in the hospital since Tuesday and should be singing grunge music soon since some of the blood he was transfused was from Washington state. Puget Sound Blood Bank to be exact. I thought that was interesting. He doesn't like missing work, so to be off almost an entire week is driving him crazy.

It's been a long week of monotonous work at work. I hate pressing 'P' all day long. Data entry is not my forte.

And then I had a bomb dropped on me... like I mentioned before.

My wife came up to me this morning and told me that Becca really wants her ears pieced. I was speechless. My 5 year old daughter? Pierced ears? Ummm.. ummm.. she was just born! She's too young! She's not supposed to have earrings this early! She's... she's... she's my baby girl. My wife said that she's been explaining it to her. That she took her down to the mall to watch someone squimish get their ears pierced. That she told her about the pain and Becca still wants it.

I thought. I didn't think I was going to have to deal with this until she was at least 18. Maybe older. (Ok, at least 8.) I didn't want it -- but that was probably me trying to hold on to my little girl. Pierced ears were another sign of her growing up. Much like me with never drinking coffee or not getting my drivers license until I was 25 -- I have to push off growing up somehow. Peter Pan is a good role model... isn't he?

So I walked out of the room, looked for some clothes to dress in so I could go to work, and came back in. "Ok, she can go ahead." My wife seemed happy with my decision and Becca didn't hear it yet. Good parenting. Don't ask in front of the kids (tip for future parents.) That way it isn't 'daddy is the bad guy' or 'mommy is too mean' and parenting is a team sport.

So... I'm not sure when I walk into the house today that I am going to be greeted by a smiling girl with silver in her ears or which day that will happen. One of these days I'll have to ask... does this growing little girl who I'm walking down the aisle make me look old? Oh man. Please no! :D

A little experiment

2009-03-10T12:59:00.001-07:00

A game I am watching as part of HEROES wants me to post this phrase on a blog or something, so I'll give it a shot.

Viva la libertad -- A Friend.

If you aren't watching HEROES on Monday nights, you are missing a good show. It's getting back to Season 1 goodness :)

That is all.

The first brick

2009-03-08T08:26:00.001-07:00

When building a structure, there is always a first brick. A cornerstone. Something to make sure the rest of the building is going to be set up straight, sturdy, and structurally sound. Today, I hope I didn't have a first brick experience.

If you remember my last post about the ugly and how I have an evil plan to take over the church and create it in my own image. I may have seen some more evidence today that shows that it may indeed be the prevalent thought out there. Each month, the deacon body meets with the pastor to have a meeting. When Dale was here, staff was included in this meeting. Today, I walk in and everyone has this dumbfounded look like, "Oops. We forgot to mention this before." The chairman turns to Brian and begins talking about how this meeting should really be between the deacons and the Pastor. If anything needs to be relayed to the staff (because, we're just staff. We aren't pastors) then the pastor can relay it. I can understand the sentiment but let me try to process this. Steve and I are the staff. Steve can never show up to these meetings because he is running praise team practice during the deacon's meeting. So that leave... me.

Last meeting, the deacons were talking about deacon training and how the new candidates couldn't meet for training at a given time because they were involved with other ministries. The point came out that maybe if they couldn't meet with the deacons at an appointed time, then maybe they weren't going to show the commitment to be deacons. Let me get this straight -- because they are showing a commitment to a ministry that they are currently working in (AWANA for 2 of them), then they are not committed to deacon ministry? I spoke up pretty adamantly against that last meeting. I have to wonder if this is a reason they didn't want me in there this meeting, or any more in the future. That and the Escarzaga stranglehold on FBC.

Ok, I am being pretty negative right now. Have to try to calm down. I need to work with kids today and right now, my joy is pretty much sapped which makes for a bad day.

So what is this brick building? With others around me, I have noticed that things are building that may point to God creating a discontent with the current situation and showing that His will is that there be a major change. I have understood that and have told them that I will hold nothing against them but I feel that God still has me and my family here to minister. It's amazing how one event, something that could be completely harmless, could start that building. I am going to take the deacons at face value and say that there is good reason for this but I am going to have to fight a feeling of under appreciation and disrespect to my God-ordained position here at the church.

Last week, I mentioned 1 Samuel 26 where David refused to kill Saul when he had the chance because Saul was "God's Anointed." Here is how the chapter ends.

21 Then Saul said, "I have sinned. Come back, David my son. Because you considered my life precious today, I will not try to harm you again. Surely I have acted like a fool and have erred greatly."

22 "Here is the king's spear," David answered. "Let one of your young men come over and get it. 23 The LORD rewards every man for his righteousness and faithfulness. The LORD delivered you into my hands today, but I would not lay a hand on the LORD's anointed. 24 As surely as I valued your life today, so may the LORD value my life and deliver me from all trouble."

25 Then Saul said to David, "May you be blessed, my son David; you will do great things and surely triumph." So David went on his way, and Saul returned home.

Because David respected the position of King and spared Saul's life, it brought Saul to a place of repentance and reconciliation. If there is something wrong with the way someone is leading, beheading them is not always the right answer. God can do so much more if we, as a people, respect the positions that He set up and appointed. He can bring change. He can change lives. He can heal broken relationships. He can draw us closer to Him. He doesn't need us to act in vengeance, holy indignation, 'justice' or hate. God is powerful enough to do what He knows is right without our interference. Time to go.

Long time, a ton of change

2009-03-02T14:25:00.001-08:00

Well, let's start with some good news.

1) Dennis returned to work today. He is on limited duty for 2 weeks but besides a scar above the eye, you can hardly tell he's been gone. He's in good spirits and all there with a good sense of humor still. It's good to see him and I look forward to working with him once again.

2) Dianne's birthday was yesterday. She got a Wii and a Wii Fit for her birthday so now my family is all into that. It's cool. More exercise for us (some exercise for me) will be good, especially if I ever plan on losing some weight. I was able to do 2 pushups yesterday before I said I have to work up for this. Not that I couldn't have pushed more out (probably another 3 or 4) but I looked silly :) It's fun making new mii's though. I got a Chuck Norris, Mr. T and Strong Bad now, as well as an ant guy. The bull guy is coming next. I'll figure out our wii number so we can be friends.

3) The AWANA Art Auction was very good. It was funny though. The first 30 people through the door all have added First Baptist Church of Fontana as a fan group on Facebook. (We have a facebook group now... go check it out. I need to add more events.) I guess the reminder helped. We ended up raising about $160 after costs which makes for a pretty good night. And the food was real good.

The bad:

1) Dale has left the church. It makes for some interesting dynamics starting to come into play. I wonder if it won't be long until we get some splintering going on with people trying to make power plays -- but I hope and pray not. Brian is doing a fantastic job behind the pulpit and not pulling any punches. Good preaching.

2) My family has been sick for most of the week. I had to miss 2 days of work last week, my wife has been miserably sick (not to mention her toothache... oh, I mentioned it) and my son was sent home from school this morning shortly after being dropped off. All too much fun. I hate being sick.

The ugly:

1) Well, there is only really one thing in here.
With Dale leaving, a new pulpit committee has to be created. There has been some discussion on how this pulpit committee should be constructed. With the way the by-laws are constructed and changed in the last 8 years, I pointed out that the Leadership team should be nominating the pulpit committee and then brought forward to the church for final approval. This was voted on by the church in a business meeting, which disbanded the nominating committee as a separate committee and placed that responsibilty on the Leadership Team.
Let me say this: This is not a power play on my part. It is following church rules set by the church. Someone said something incredibly stupid that got back to my parents and has made my mom quite upset: They didn't want the Leadership Team to make the decisions on who is on the pulpit committee because there are too many Escarzaga's on the Team.
There are so many ways I can go with this. If they don't want Escarzaga's doing so much work in the church, then they should volunteer and take some of our responsibilities. Only one Escarzaga has ever been paid by the church (me) as being part of staff. The rest of them (including myself now) are volunteer. We are not trying to take over the church. We do so much because so much is required.
There is a theory that 80% of everything done in the church, 80% of what is given, 80% of whatever is done by 20% of the people. If they want the Escarzaga's to be less of the 20%, join it and diminish our rolls. It's not a matter of ego -- it's ministry.
The idea that the Escarzaga's are trying to take over the church is ridiculous. Running the children's ministry is not the place to take over a church. Being the youth director is not the way to take over the church. The library is not a strategic place of conquest. AWANA is not a good staging ground. The only position anyone has had that could be said to be a good place to begin the conquest is the chairman of the deacons, which my dad has done twice, and has gracefully turned over when his turn was over. This is to the point now that he is not even a deacon anymore. Church politics. Some people play them. Some people are involved from the outside by those who are playing while not wanting anything to do with them. Some people just minister. As far as I know, there has been no attempt to change the name of FBC Fontana to EBC Fontana (Escarzaga Baptist Church.) If that ever comes, I for one won't be part of it.
This goes for Steve and I -- be careful what you say about those that God has put in the place where they are. Case in point: 1 Samuel 26:
⁸ Abishai said to David, "Today God has delivered your enemy into your hands. Now let me pin him to the ground with one thrust of my spear; I won't strike him twice." ⁹ But David said to Abishai, "Don't destroy him! Who can lay a hand on the LORD's anointed and be guiltless? ¹⁰ As surely as the LORD lives," he said, "the LORD himself will strike him; either his time will come and he will die, or he will go into battle and perish. ¹¹ But the LORD forbid that I should lay a hand on the LORD's anointed. Now get the spear and water jug that are near his head, and let's go."

David was anointed to be the next king of Israel by Samuel and God in chapter 16 of Samuel. He knew that God had given him the position of king. He knew that Saul was going to have to die. He knew no one would question him as Saul was on a manhunt to kill him and this would be seen as self defense. But still, David had respect for the position that God had put Saul in. In the same way, you may not like the person who is there. You may not agree with everything they do. But you best beware when attacking God's anointed. God will do His work. He will call those out when He does. He will do what needs to be done to make changes when He feels fit. In the end, it's not about you, your comfort, your preferences, or your feelings. It is about God Almighty and His will, His pleasure, and His praise. God has people in the places where they are because it is His call. It is not that those who are called to ministry are untouchable. We should be held accountable. We should have to make account for our gifts and responsibilities not only to our God but to our church. It is that when you go up against those called by the Lord, you better make sure you do so with prayer and humility because there is a reason they are in the position in the first place and if they need to be removed, the position MUST maintain the integrity of it's inherit respect. If David would have killed Saul at this point, the position of king of Israel would have lost some integrity as something that is not from the Lord but could be taken by force -- i.e. killing the current king. Too many positions of power are ill-gained and ill'er-lost. Ministry is not a position of power to those in the ministry -- it is a spiritual responsibility given by God to work for His glory and if we, as ministers, are doing so for glory, power, or prestige, then we are in the wrong job.
Be careful how you attack the anointed of God.
I think I've gone on long enough on this (although there is a huge part of me who wants to preach this, but I better not because it's not the time or my place at this point.)

Alright, everything can come out now

2009-02-02T08:59:00.000-08:00

If you have noticed my facebook status lately, and Trina's... as well as some of her blogs, we have been having something on our mind that is major that we couldn't share yet. Well, yesterday morning, it was finally let out of the bag by who it needed to come out from so I can now share.
Dale Garland, our senior pastor, has accepted a position of senior pastor at another church, Valley Baptist in Hemet. Having heard him tell the story yesterday of how God has confirmed this decision makes my initial thought of why he was going less significant. Initially, the reason that was given was to save our church from going financially bankrupt. We have been going through problems as a church that have multiple reasons, including people losing their jobs and going back to the daycare.
Having heard Dale talk yesterday about how God has been working behind the scenes was encouraging. God was working from different directions, directions that wouldn't normally be used in my head. Our Director of Missions for our association talked to Dale about how every time he would pray for the church out in Hemet, Dale's name would pop into his head. Without giving Dale the name of the church, he asked if Dale would trust him with Dale's resume. Upon reading Dale's resume, they called a potential pastor they were looking at and told them thank you for applying, but no thank you. They started all over again with their pulpit committee with Dale.
It was interesting though. Dale met with their pulpit committee after the holidays (They made first contact in November but Dale told them that he needed time to pray it over and not to contact him until after the holidays) and they asked him, "Why do you want to leave your church?" His answer, "I don't. But I am open to where God is leading."
He went in initially with 2 names he was going to give them to tell them to pursue these pastors but never gave them the names because they fit together well. Dale put up obstacle after obstacle for God to overcome and God tore down obstacle after obstacle (and knowing a few of the obstacles, God tore them down with tears and pain.) God made it perfectly clear that Dale is supposed to go to Hemet. It isn't the church finances or that the church that was talking about buying our property fell through and we lost momentum. Those may have been the initial catalyst but God went way beyond that.
Dale is supposed to go to Hemet and I pray that God blesses him and his family out there even more than He has here in Fontana.
So that leaves our church with questions though. Dale has been the senior pastor for 8 years and now we are in a place again where we have to look for a new senior pastor. But wait! We have an assistant pastor, Brian, who is an excellent preacher and everyone loves to hear him preach. He just got his bachelor degree. He was just ordained (the same day as I was.) And he loves our church. God may not be abandoning us after all :)
There are worries though. The last two pastors we have had have both had doctoral degrees. Brian still needs to go to seminary to get his masters. Brian became a Christian at the church so people have seen his growth with the Lord and may not give him the credit God is bestowing on him because they've seen him grow (not height wise... Brian is 6'8" and has been for years.) As Jesus said, a prophet is not accepted in his own home town. I think Brian has grown so much from even when I first knew him and God has specially prepared him for this job.
Last night, I had a chance to talk to Brian and his wife, with my wife, about the changes coming. I told him that I would offer my resignation letter for him to consider but that I was going to be behind him no matter what. His decisions are my directions, even if I disagree with him behind closed doors -- they will never come out in the open. He is going to be my pastor and with that position comes the respect due him. I have considered Brian my best friend for years now. He knows more about me than almost anyone else... at times rivaling my wife.
I know that there are going to be people who look back at the daycare and now at what is happening with Dale leaving and are going to be calling for my position, my head and my volunteer pastoral position at the church. Dale is no longer going to be around to protect me from the negative wave that I am sure is going to happen. It is a blessing and a curse in many ways that I am oblivious to too many things. My ministry and calling take precedence over what people feel about me, although they are not exclusive to each other. I need to be a minister but criticism is not going to destroy what God is doing. I need constructive criticism (although constructive gossip is still bad.)
I don't know God has planned for the next 6 months even the next 2 weeks, but know that whatever it is, God is good... all the time. I pray that He will still use First Baptist Church.

A little something I posted on a forum

2009-01-24T18:09:00.000-08:00

On a forum I frequent, they were asking people to post love stories (not dirty ones! Get your mind out of the gutter!) So I thought and thought and thought and wondered who I could write about. Ok, not really... there was no one else to write about in my mind. Since Trina had written about me a couple of times lately, I guess it's my turn to return the favor. This is what I posted:

-------
I was an entertainer at a local amusement part when my wife and I were dating. Part of my act was to come out in the middle of the show and deliver mail to the host of the show, usually being something silly like a letter that said 'duck' where I would try to squirt him with water but get the audience instead or some free popcorn for certain audience members. Well, one November afternoon (November 22, 1998), I went out three times. The first two were the situations above. The third time, I came out with a giant envelope (must have been 1 meter x .5 meters for all you non-Americans out there) that had my girlfriend's name as the addressee. As I delivered the envelope to her, she opened it and the front read, "I was wondering..." Inside read, "What are you doing for the next 75 years?" At that moment, I got down on one knee, pulled out the engagement ring, and proposed to her in the middle of the show (it was actually the closing) in front of everyone there to see the show. She was so excited/dumbfounded that she couldn't speak... in fact, I had to prod her to answer. She then quickly nodded her head and we were engaged It was a very happy day.

We were engaged for a year and a half. The day of our wedding came and we were at the large church that we both grew up at to get married. Me, always thinking of greeting people, was out before the wedding greeting people, saying hi, thanking people for coming until they almost had to literally drag me out of there so I could make my traditional entrance. Finally 2 pm arrived and I entered behind the pastor and in front of my best man, climbed the stairs to get on stage and waited. The moms were seated, then the bridesmaids entered. Then, suddenly, filling the entrance way some 100 yards away (it was a big church), was my fiance in her white dress. I couldn't help but tear up as I saw her walking towards me to be my wife. She was crying, I noticed, as she got closer but this was the most beautiful she had ever been. We said our vows, exchanged our rings, I told her a joke during the musical interlude after lighting the unity candle, and we kissed. She was now my wife. This was a very good day.

There is nothing like when your first child is born. It is all a blur to me now but after hours of labor, my son was born and my wife, sweating, hair matted on her face, having endured hours of pain and struggle, never looked as beautiful as that moment. That was a very happy day.

Then my daughter was born. It was much like the ordeal with my son but we knew more what to expect this time. The labor was not as long but the pain, sweat, and beauty were still there. That was a very, very good day.

Then, we got crazy and decided to have twins (how do you make that decision? Don't ask me.) 9 months of the craziest pregnancy ever, of being sick, looking like she was hiding a beach ball instead of being pregnant, of some of the silliest questions, and the day arrived. Having been pros at this, this interesting angle of having 2 babies at the same time was enough to keep us interested The time for the births came and the escorted us to a huge birthing room where 20-30 nurses and doctors came to watch the birth of natural twins with no medication. I guess that was a rarity. Pretty quickly, the first girl was born. My wife asked, 'how long does it take for the second to come usually?' Jokingly, I said, '4 hours.' I've never seen dirtier looks from my wife or the midwives in my life. 4 minutes later, my second daughter was born. They were beautiful -- tiny compared to the monster my son was at birth-- but perfect. My wife, frazzled, dazed, relieved, and tired, was more beautiful today than I could remember her. It was a great day.

This morning, I woke up to my seven year old coming in and asking for waffles, our normal routine lately. Slowly I got up, looked to my right, and sleeping next to me was my wife, more beautiful today than I ever remember her. Today will be a fantastic day because I have the love of my life.
------
End

The Failure of My Ministry

2009-01-21T17:20:00.001-08:00

I have to wonder if I have failed the children of my church.I look at some of the kids who have come out of our program into the youth and see that they do not have a strong Biblical foundation. They do not like coming to church a lot of the time. They don't see the relevance of the Bible in our everyday life. Looking at that, there is little question that we have failed.

But, why? Why have I failed in so many lives?

I heard from someone wiser than I say, "They are not going to care about how much you know until they know how much they care." Yeah, it's a nice platitude, but how real is that? There are a couple of boys in our program right now where it seems that they are getting in trouble with me and becoming disruptive more than should be. Of course I get frustrated. But where is my frustration coming from? Is it because I cannot finish my lesson? Is it that they are not hearing my pearls of wisdom? I look and see that more times than not, it is.

I do not think these boys think I care about them as people but only as students who must be taught. So now I begin looking at how to make my ministry more relevant, not in teaching them but in showing them I care and love them and want to see them grow in love with God. Ultimately, teaching is part of this, but it is not the end-all goal of my ministry.

I need to do more prayer and study of His Word to find out what the goal of the Children's ministry of First Baptist Church needs to be. In the back of my mind is the 5S Racing stuff still. To help families raise children who will run the race successfully. Is this truly the goal? I have told preschool teachers that we should spoil preschoolers and that they should love coming to church because this is where they are shown tons of love. Why not in children's ministry? I am more interested too much of the time in teaching than loving.

Should the goal of our children's department be that we are going to show the love of Christ to children and their families in every aspect of ministry first and foremost? We need to show love through teaching but not sacrifice community building and loving family time for the sake of getting through the lesson.

Our daycare was called, "1st Kids" as it was not only a play on First Baptist Church Kids but as a philosophy of treating Kids like first-class citizens and putting their physical needs and spiritual needs to know Christ a top priority. It isn't about getting through the lesson. The same philosophy needs to be everywhere in our program. It should run through every action we take – God loves them. We love them.

It is time for a total revamp of Children's church and possibly every aspect of our children's ministry. Love is the first, last and middle that needs to be everywhere and this is not about finding the right curriculum. It's about making it a place where they feel loved, where they feel relevant and where God is relevant in their lives.

I'm tired of failing them.

Two Songs on my Playlist

2009-01-20T11:59:00.001-08:00

If you scroll to the bottom of my blog, there is a playlist of songs that I love. I am able to listen to them today, surprisingly, and two of them stuck out to me more particularly -- one because it always does and it really is more of my life song, the second because of the events of the day.

The first is "Missing Person" by Michael W. Smith. This, outside of maybe "Every New Day" by Five Iron Frenzy, is my favorite song because it is who I am and the struggles I have been through. Here are the lyrics:

1st Verse:
Another question in me
One for the powers that be
It's got me thrown
And so I put on my poker face
And try to figure it out
This undeniable doubt
A common occurrence
Feeling so out of place
Guarded and cynical now
Can't help but wondering how
My heart evolved into
The rock beating inside of me
So I reel such a stoic ordeal
Where's that feeling that I don't feel

Chorus:
There was a boy who had the faith to move a mountain
And like a child he would believe without a reason
Without a trace he disappeared into the void and
I've been searching for that missing person

2nd verse:
Under a lavender moon
So many thoughts consume me
Who dimmed that glowing light
That once burned so bright in me
Is this a radical phase
A problematical age
That keeps me running
From all that I used to be
Is there a way to return
Is there a way to unlearn
That carnal knowledge
That's chipping away at my soul
Have I been gone too long
Will I ever find my way home

Chorus:
There was a boy who had the faith to move a mountain
And like a child he would believe without a reason
Without a trace he disappeared into the void and
I've been searching for that missing person

He used to want to try to walk the straight and narrow
He had a fire and he could feel it in the marrow
It's been a long time and I haven't seen him lately, though
I've been searching for that missing person

Bridge:
For that missing person
For that missing person

Oh oh, oh oh,

Chorus:
There was a boy who had the faith to move a mountain
And like a child he would believe without a reason
Without a trace he disappeared into the void and
I've been searching...

He used to want to try to walk the straight and narrow
He had a fire and he could feel it in the marrow
It's been a long time and I haven't seen him lately, though
I've been searching for that missing person

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Where are you?
Where are you... (fades to close)

-------

In Sunday's post about accountabilty and being 'the good boy,' I relate to this song incredibly. I look back and see times where I was exciting about serving God, about knowing God, and now I am more of a grumpy old man who's lost the ferver. Now, so many times, I look to find the passion again. It's still in there somewhere but to get it out of the heart of stone is a challenge -- pray that God will replace my heart of stone with a soft heart easily hurt but willing to be molded by the Lord.

The second song is "My Deliverer is Coming." This version is sung by dc Talk for the Prince of Egypt soundtrack, but it is originally written by Rich Mullins -- one of my favorite writers, God bless his soul (yes, I know it's rest, but I know Rich is resting in the comfort of His Lord.) Here's the lyrics:

Joseph took his wife and her child and they went to Africa
To escape the rage of a deadly king
There along the banks of the Nile, Jesus listened to the song
That the captive children used to sing
They were singing

My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by

Through a dry and thirsty land, water from the Kenyon heights
Pours itself out of Lake Sangra's broken heart
There in the Sahara winds Jesus heard the whole world cry
For the healing that would flow from His own scars
The world was singing

My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
He will never break His promise - He has written it upon the sky

My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by

My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
I will never doubt His promise though I doubt my heart, I doubt my eyes
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by

My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
He will never break His promise though the stars should break faith with the sky
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by

------

My deliverer is coming. I imagine alot of people feel that their deliverer gave a speech today after he was sworn into office. No person ever sworn in as a politician will ever by my deliverer. I will pray for my leaders. I will obey them to the point they do not disobey the Lord. I will respect them but they are not my deliverer. My deliverer is coming! Though I doubt my heart and my eyes, He is coming back for me to bring me home! Oh, the joy that will be that He will call me His own, and not for what I have done. I don't have to vote for Him -- He is already ruler. I don't have to give Him everything for He owns it all. My deliverer is standing by!

I do pray that God bless Obama and give him wisdom. I actually loved Rick Warren's prayer today. I pray that God will continue to bless George W. Bush in his endevours and thank God that Bush stood on principles and character even if it destroyed his reputation and legacy. History will be kinder to Bush than his current critics.

But, in the end, Obama may do good or bad, but my deliverer is coming! Amen!

Pray for Tim and Marc (Blogs to the right) as they are doing outreach in Siberia right now (although righ now they are probably sleeping.)

Accountability

2009-01-18T19:35:00.000-08:00

Proverbs 27:17
17 As iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another.

Here I am in beautiful Windsor, California spending some time with family, going to church with my grandpa, spending time seeing his hat collection and going different ways between Windsor and Napa to find beauty in God's creation and I have been thinking about this blog all week. A friend of mine entrusted me with some things in order to keep him accountable. I was able to share with him some things that I needed to be accountable for also.
You may think that since I was ordained last week I must have it all together. After all, what church would be foolish enough to ordain someone who doesn't have it all together. Well, let me let you in on a little secret... God doesn't call people when they are perfect or ready. Look at the life of Moses. God called him after 40 years of humbling him to the point where Moses no longer believed he was able to do anything, 40 years after he tried to rescue the Hebrews on his own power because of his own position and it took 40 years for God to break him completely before God could use him in mighty ways. Likewise, I am not the spiritual giant you would expect someone to be as a pastor. I struggle with pride. I struggle with slothfulness. I struggle with lust.
Most people have never heard my full testimony. There are some that I have felt close enough and trusted enough to give the darker parts of my past in order to know me, my walk with the Lord, and my struggles. Let me just share that for too many years in my life I did the right thing because it was the right thing and not because of my love for the Lord. I was a good kid. I put off that persona and no matter how hard I was struggling on the inside, I was the good kid.
I was called to the ministry when I was 9 years old. I knew from that point that God had a special calling on my life and that I needed to keep my nose clean. But as I grew as a teenager, it became less about the calling and more about keeping my nose clean. I was an example to other people -- which in and of itself is not a bad thing -- but the motivation was wrong. It wasn't love. It was pride. I was prideful that I could put on the show of being good while my heart was lazy. Yeah, I served faithfully and hard but the life was mostly on the outside.
I survived the Navy as the good boy. Pornography was all over the place and I got into that some but tried not to show it outside. I knew my personality and knew that if I got into any vices, they would stick and it would be too hard to get out of, so I have never drank, smoked, or done drugs. I gambled some while I was in Hobart but God made sure I didn't go overboard by breaking my ATM card :)
Like I said though, I was the good kid.
My struggles now are more with computers in general and not manning up and doing what is needed because I complain about either being tired or just not wanting to. I know I need to spend less time on the computer and more time being with my kids, my wife, and my chores.
So if you are to pray for me, pray that I get my priorities straight in my personal life and not worry about being seen as 'the good boy' and really become the 'follower of Christ' in my everyday life.

We need to be accountable to someone.

James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

More on this later.

Tony

Here's a few pictures from Sunday.

2009-01-15T23:39:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd share a little. If you want to see more photos, I think you can check out my picasa file to see more.

I'm still thinking of that post I need to write though.

The Journey Thus Far

2009-01-12T21:31:00.000-08:00

Ok, now that the ordination service has passed, it is now time to go back and reflect on the entire process.

Ordination Council:
In the end, it wasn't too hard. The questions were fair and it was easier being able to play off of Brian's answers and he mine.

The first question was fair but went directly to the question of the daycare without actually asking about the daycare. It was, "Has there ever been a time where you did not give your all in your ministry?" I answered truthfully -- yes. If you have been reading this blog for any time, you know that I fight a funk that could be called depression (although I see it more as a lack of faith in the ability of God to use me through my weaknesses) and I have had a hard time allowing myself to take risks and put myself out there to have my heart stomped again not only by those around me who will tear my failures apart but from my own high expectations.

Another question I was asked was if I felt ready to be a senior pastor yet. I answered no. God has not called me to be a senior pastor at this moment. A lot of people in primary and youth ministry are there as a place holder to learn the ministry until a position comes up that they can be behind the pulpit. I am content where God has me now. I look at my life and see God making provision after provision, training after training and gift after gift that have prepared me to be in children's ministry and if I was ever to become a senior pastor, it will be a work of God to change and grow me into that position. When I was first called to the ministry at 9 years of age, I always thought I'd take Rob Zinn's place at Immanuel (which runs about 8,000 right now.) I don't have the credentials to do that right now, nor really the heart and definitely not the calling. I do have the calling to be where I am right now though and with that, I find contentment with the Lord.

Other questions started with a lot of situational questions. Then we got some theological questions, such as to explain the trinity (!!!), what do you believe about the Bible, and do you believe that the gift of tongues is still around today? Overall, it was a good session and Brian and I were able to help each other indirectly. And they never really got into the Baptist Faith and Message.

The Ordination Service:

Before the service, Pastor Dale asked me if I would like to give my testimony first or second, before or after Brian. Not being a dummy, I said before Brian because I wouldn't want to have to follow him up. Brian is a fantastic communicator and a gifted preacher who I am going to love to see continue to improve and one day will be the leader of some mega-church somewhere (I keep threatening him with that.)

The service itself was fantastic. It started at 6:30 pm. By the time the laying of hands started, it was about 7:30. 45 minutes laster, we stood up. The prayer took 45 minutes, but while kneeling there, it only seemed like moments... maybe 20 minutes. It surprised me. If you read my previous blog, you remember how much I was concerned about kneeling for that long (it really wasn't knee problems, it was back.) Well, we were given chairs to steady ourselves so it wasn't a chore. I will tell you though that my elbows hurt after because I was putting enough weight on them so my back wouldn't hurt.

My friend, Tom, was probably the 5th person to pray over me. His prayer got me tearing up a little. Then, probably 15th or so, my dad walked up. The chair received a good watering. I know my dad has been changed into an emotional man, but growing up I never saw him cry and he had a hard time communicating feelings of love (it has passed down from generation to generation with the father showing his kids love by providing for them -- very cultural thing.) He told me that when I was first born, he held me in his palm and prayed that God would use me and make me His own in service and that tonight, God was answering that prayer completely. It's got to be something to see what God does over 34 years to answer a simple prayer over a baby to see His faithfulness. He was overwhelmed and his voice cracked, he was crying and of course, with him crying, I was too. When he finished praying, I had to stand up (which I'm not sure is kosher in the middle of being ordained) and had to hug him for a little bit. I'm not entirely sure he was comfortable with the PDA in front of the congregation because I could have stood there all night hugging him but he had the determination to continue to Brian to pray for him too. I haven't heard what people thought about that (except Eric who thought it was great) but really, I'm not really concerned if they thought it was sweet or overly emotional. It was what I needed to do at that moment.

So, when we stood up, Pastor Dale mentioned some changes, which in reality aren't too significant. Brian and I can put the abbreviation "Rev." before our names now. We can go visit prisoners anytime we want, even outside of visiting hours, by bringing our ordination certificate with us, and if we ever get to lead the inauguration prayer, we would be at the left hand of the president instead of the right as the government of the United States recognizes a minister of the Gospel a higher office than even that of the president. Brian may have that chance one of these days :)

After the service:
We had carrot cake and chocolate cake with strawberry filling at a small celebration after. Brian and I had to take a few hundred pictures next to the cakes, with our ordination certificates, with our families and wives and with Doug (the pastor who gave the charge to the candidates) and Pastor Dale and this person and that. I didn't mind the pictures. Brian said someone may get confused and think Brian and I are getting married by the amount of pictures though :-O
It was good to get to talk to people and really good for my friend Eric to make the trip out from Glendale to be part of it. I've known Eric since 1994 as we met in the Navy. Eric is the only person I keep in touch with on a regular basis from my Navy days (I have communicated with Chaplain Bartz a couple of times.)
When the celebration finally ended, Eric and I walked to my office where I hung my ordination certificate next to my license to preach the Gospel and I couldn't help but think that this is a work of God. Who would ever think that a guy who isn't so smooth talking in groups of people, who has so far to go to be a spiritual giant, and who just loves kids and teaching them about Jesus would have these two certificates on his wall? It is a work of God and not a push by me.

I am running out of time (and I continued this from last night as it was.) I need to make another post but will do that when I have some time either tonight or tomorrow.

God is good. All of the time.

More on Dennis

2009-01-10T12:21:00.000-08:00

Dennis appeared himself on CBS yesterday. If you get a chance to watch this, you'll see why everyone who has ever known him thinks the world of him. He is truly a good man changed by the Holy Spirit to be a great man.

Here's the video:
http://www.cbs2.com/video/?id=88987@kcbs.dayport.com

If you haven't seen his family's blog yet about this whole experience, it's here:

http://jdwupdates.blogspot.com

I can't wait to see him soon.

Now for the hard part

2009-01-08T08:29:00.001-08:00

On facebook, I mentioned how I have done the easy parts of ordination and now get to the hard part. You may ask what the hard part is. Is it living a life worthy of the ordination? Is it getting up in front of a bunch of people and speaking? Is it the higher expectations by everyone? Nope. I'll tell you what it is in a second.

Last night at church was the voting by the congregation (we are a congregationally ran church) and they voted by majority to ordain Brian and I. I didn't want to look at the percentages because I am sure I would be like, how come this many people voted no (although I am sure education played a part in that.) Sunday was the ordination council and I'll have to write another blog some time about the questions and some of the answers that I remember. I think that was easier with Brian to bounce things off of and take turns answering first.

The one thing about ordination services that has always been in the back of my mind as the hardest part was kneeling for 45 minutes as the other ordained men come and pray over you, placing their hands on your head. I have heard stories of some beginning to become tired and placing extra weight on your head while they try to remain upright, making it near impossible for the one being ordained to remain upright without their back or knees giving out. It has always been the one thing that has stuck with me the most... how will I be able to kneel for that long in that position?!? I couldn't even do that while being a puppeteer and I didn't have to support the weight of anyone else, just a puppet not pushing down on me.

Of course, it doesn't help that my back has been acting up all week as it is. My dad, when he was ordained a deacon, was able to sit down in a chair because of his weight. I am not at that point right now so I am going to have to man up and live through it. And then complain about it later to my wife who will say, "Ah, poor baby. Go to work," on Monday. I can already see Monday being a very long day after the excitement of Sunday night.

On a side note, I invited two of the more influential teachers in my life, one was my 3rd and 6th grade teacher (I talked about her in a previous blog, Mrs. Umble.) The other was my 12th grade English teacher for a semester. She saw my talent and pretty much kicked me out of her college prep class sending me to the AP class (where I did well and passed the AP test.) She believed in me when I didn't (I mentioned her name but not her story, Linda Cataldo.) Unfortunately, neither one is going to be able to make it because of other plans already made (too short of a notice) but both said they remember me (I visited Mrs. Umble for years after elementary school) and were sorry they couldn't make it and truly sounded honored for being asked to come. I wish they could but I understand short notices.

So I am going to start doing my deep knee bends, get my volleyball knee pads ready, and see if I can find a back brace that will help me survive the assault of heavy hands. I love being prayed for but the heavy hands scare me :D

I guess it's as good as the auto bailout

2009-01-07T22:00:00.001-08:00

Well, the local news just had it's opening story talking about the guy from 'Girls Gone Wild' and Larry Flynt are going to Congress to see if they can get a bailout package for the porn industry, talking about how they employ more people than the auto industry, they have $13 billion in sales annually, and they are hurting with the recession. While I do not agree with their business not believe they deserve nor will receive a bailout, I see the point. I don't know if they are for real in this request, but where does the giving out of taxpayer money stop?
The beauty of capitalism is that it forces business to continue to grow, become more efficient, remain relevant in society, and keep struggling to be better so the public will continue to use them. If something else becomes better, then the old product goes out the window. Should the government should have bailed out Morris Code machines or the telegraph? How about the Pony Express? Stage Coaches? Should we have bailed out Betamax or 8-Track players, record players, cassette tapes, VHS tapes, or even CD's and the music industry as a whole?
The problem with the auto bailout is that they are doing things that worked before technology overtook their processes. Look at some of the Japanese companies. Sega was an industry giant with the Sega Genesis, Sega Saturn, Game Gear, and some of their own games. They had a good market share against Nintendo. Then Play Station came in and knocked Sega to #3. They began losing market share and revamped their entire company to move away from gaming systems to creating games - arcade and home console. They are now one of the most successful game creators out there. They didn't go to the Japanese government and ask for a bailout. They revamped, reformed, and succeeded.
Ford, GM, and Chrysler need to change. They can't continue to do the same thing and hope for different results (the true definition of insanity.) Is this going to hurt people? Yes, but not as many as if they don't try to change at all and everyone loses their jobs. What made Henry Ford successful was seeing a product and learning how to do it better. Now the company that bears his name sees a product and is too weighed down by bureaucracy, union demands, and no thinking outside the box laziness to be able to make change.
Fontana suffered, and in a way still does, from the closure of Kaiser Steel decades ago because they became irrelevant having to keep up with the union while keeping their product cheap enough against foreign product. They weren't bailed out. It was just business.
I think I am going to ask for a bailout plan, as well as propose one for Atari because I miss those 2600 games. Nothing like the floating square that was supposed to represent a round ball breaking non-descript blocks.
(Is this porn bailout story so important that they have to show it twice this hour?)

The Baptist Faith and Message

2009-01-02T23:01:00.001-08:00

Sunday afternoon, Brian (our Associate Pastor) and I will be going through ordination council to see if we are ready to be ordained for the gospel ministry on January 11th. This is a huge step in both of our ministries and both of our lives. While I have been licensed for the gospel ministry for about 5 years now (I'll have to check my certificate hanging on my wall at church) this is a huge calling.

Upon sitting down with my pastor about what to expect at the council, he suggested I know my testimony, the circumstances of my calling (when and how), and the Baptist Faith and Message.

Much smarter men and learned men in theology have debated these things and have come up with this doctrine of faith, but I have some questions about it. Let me go into the 3 that I found while reading it.

1) Article III, Man
Statement: "By his free choice man sinned against God and brought sin into the human race. Through the temptation of Satan man transgressed the command of God, and fell from his original innocence whereby his posterity inherit a nature and an environment inclined toward sin. Therefore, as soon as they are capable of moral action, they become transgressors and are under condemnation."
Point of Question: "s soon as they are capable of moral action, they become transgressors and are under condemnation."
Question: This is a statement which lives by the assumption of the age of accountability and the innocence of children prior to this age. In my research of this, I have found more in favor of there being no age of accountability than I have for there being one. What I base my belief on is the understanding of the nature of God being a loving and fair God who would not condemn those who have not had a chance to make a decision one way or the other to follow Christ. I cannot back it scriptural and would like to know how they came up with it here. On the contrary, if you look at the verses they list below supporting the statement, one of them is Psalm 51:5 which states:
" 5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me."
I believe in the age of accountability but only because of hope and not because of Biblical evidence to support it. I cannot fathom the full nature or ways of God and would not dare call it unjust if those too young to know sin and truth were condemned also but I hope in a loving God who forgives and shows unmerited grace to those who never had a chance.

2. Article VIII: Baptism and the Lord's Supper
Statement: "Christian baptism is the immersion of a believer in water in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. It is an act of obedience symbolizing the believer's faith in a crucified, buried, and risen Saviour, the believer's death to sin, the burial of the old life, and the resurrection to walk in newness of life in Christ Jesus. It is a testimony to his faith in the final resurrection of the dead. Being a church ordinance, it is prerequisite to the privileges of church membership and to the Lord's Supper."
Point of question: "it is prerequisite to the privileges of church membership and to the Lord's Supper."
Question: I understand the idea of close communion and the autonomy of the local church, but if a local church decides to offer opened communion (Open to all those who are believers), the idea that all partakers have to be baptized (as in water immersion) prior to partaking in the Lord's Supper seems out of order to me. Water baptism is a symbol of the baptism by the Holy Spirit that takes place immediately when someone becomes a follower of Christ. While I believe that water baptism is the first step of obedience in following Christ, it is not an extra step of salvation and should not be considered a prerequisite for partaking in the remembrance of our Lord and His sacrificial work on the cross. We are no more Christian after being baptized than we are while walking in the water or after we first commit to a saving faith.
Because baptism is the first step of obedience in a walk of faith, could the writers of the Baptist Faith and Message be trying to protect those who have not been baptized from taking the Lord's Supper in an unworthy manner, having not obeyed the first thing yet? I don't know if it is, but it would be a legitimate reason to restrict it.

3. VIII. The Lord's Day
Statement: "The first day of the week is the Lord's Day. It is a Christian institution for regular observance. It commemorates the resurrection of Christ from the dead and should include exercises of worship and spiritual devotion, both public and private. Activities on the Lord's Day should be commensurate with the Christian's conscience under the Lordship of Jesus Christ."
Point of Question: "The first day of the week is the Lord's Day."
Question: I do worship on Sundays, and have my entire Christian life, but is worshiping God corporately only valid on Sunday? Are the Seventh Day Adventist, or even the Seventh Day Baptist (yes, I didn't make that up) wrong for worshiping on Saturday? How about tons of worshipers who worship on Saturday night because it is more convenient, such as at Saddleback? Scripture tells us (again in the quoted in the Biblical references below the statement),
Romans 14:5-6
" 5 One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord."
I have heard militant Seventh Day Adventist talk about those who worship on Sunday instead of the Sabbath and how they are wrong. This could be interpreted the same way.

I guess with all three statements, they seem like none of the proclamations should either be expanded upon or left up to the local church to decide outside of conventional politics.

Eyes getting too tired to stay awake. Time to visit my wife. :D

2008. The Year in Review

2008-12-31T22:32:00.000-08:00

Now that we are 1 hour and 30 minutes away from the new year, I thought it would be nice to go back and look at what has changed in my life over the last 12 months. If you want full stories, you can probably look back at my previous posts and learn way more than you probably ever wanted to know.

The year started out quite trying with me looking for full-time work while working part-time at Kay Bee's (may it rest in peace). I actually enjoyed working at the toy store but don't think the hours were good (opening boxes at midnight was no fun.)

The church has been a struggle. My excitement has been waning for most of the year to the point that VBS suffered. The last couple of months seem to be better. It's getting better. Today's event, even being 5 hours long, was a blast for me. I hope the kids had a good time (although we know we are going to cut it down to maybe 2 hours next year.) I lost my paid position with the church stayed on as the non-paid children's pastor. I was asked if we were going to leave the church, but God hasn't called us anywhere else yet so the work continues. Some things are starting to form that I like a lot. I do need to start training someone to take my place though in case I ever get sick or God does call us somewhere else. We were thinking the other day, if my family left the church (extended included), our AWANA program would crumble (I'm AWANA pastor, my wife is the commander, my sister is the secretary, my dad is the leader for the 3rd - 6th grade class), our Children's minsitry would lose half it's leadership and the youth would lose most of theirs too. The true sign of a good leader is the fact they can replicate themselves so I am failing.

I got employed with San Bernardino City Unified School District in March. I'm a secretary. The job really has been the tale of two jobs though. My first boss had been in the position for 10 years and the office was a cesspool of moral. When she retired in June and the former regime was pretty much cleaned out (Dennis withstanding -- but he was the positive from the previous regime)left also, the attitude changed and now it's ok to joke and talk and smile. I like the office atmosphere now and I get to help kids indirectly. The fact that I was no longer employed part time at Kay Bee's made my wife happy and the fact that the job has good benefits made her much happier.

Life with 4 kids as they grow is interesting. The twins are getting bigger and talking way too much. Micah is becoming more social. So is Becca but she isn't supposed to be doing so. It's amazing to sit back and watch them sometimes to see what a miracle they really are.

I started umpiring baseball this year and I had a blast. It is definitely something I am going to do again. And again. And again. Towards the end of the year, I was able to talk to people about my other job and some of the events we held at the church. Relationship building with the lost is the best way to draw them to Christ. I hope I never get to the point where someone will tell me at the ballpark that they can't hear my words because my actions are speaking too loud. I can't wait for March.

2008 has been a year of paying the bills by faith. My mother-in-law and I don't really make enough to pay all of our bills and eat but God has been good and provided in unexpected places too many times. It was even more amazing when I didn't have the full time job. Now to start working on refinancing the home loan to make it more affordable, but God is good all of the time.

It has been interesting starting to get to reacquaint myself with long-lost friends. I have gotten to get to know Eric even better. I've started to get to talk to those I went on mission trips with back in 1991 (although I am still looking for 1989 Jamaica friends.) There are a lot of people who have had the influence on my life (as I mentioned in my last blog) and it's great to start talking to them again.

I hope 2009 is a better year but am learning to be satisfied in the God of 2008, 2009 and forever.

Happy New Year!

I know I've been missing lately

2008-12-29T15:16:00.000-08:00

It's ok. I'm still alive and kicking. I kinda got hooked to the latest non-new phase -- facebook. Sorry for not writing.

Anyway, Christmas was very good. The kids all got homemade toys from us (babydolls, a notebook full of Lego designs, "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything" movie... ok, that's not homemade) but got all the good material goods from my parents and family. If you want to see more of what they got, check my wife's blog. She's supermommie to the right.

I got a call last night on the way home from church from our pastor. He informs me that he needs to meet with me and Brian, our assistant pastor, on Monday morning about plans to hold an ordination council next Sunday for the purposes of ordaining Brian and I to the gospel ministry. Now ordination council is no walk in the park. I need to read the Baptist Faith and Message real quick-like -- although it is what I have been taught pretty much my whole life as Biblical doctrine but now I have to read it straight through. It was written by theologians and not novelist so it is not the most exciting read.

If I pass the ordination council on Sunday, the following Sunday, January 11th, will be my ordination. There are a few people I will need to invite. Mrs. Umble, my 3rd grade teacher, always told me that she wanted to be a part of my first sermon. Unfortunately I have already had that (it was very short notice) but I can inform her of this. She comes back to school next week (as I go back to work) and since I work for the same school district as she does, I can just e-mail her and see if she responds.

There are a few people from Immanuel I want to make sure are able to come -- and some that I would love to show up to the ordination council. John Potter had a huge impact on my life as a children's pastor. Wayne Reynolds would be great to be there. I know asking for Rob Zinn would be near impossible as he is always busy, but he will always be my pastor as he was my Biblical teacher for so many years and lead me to Christ during VBS those 27 years ago. Of course, Rob being there would make my ordination council exponentially harder, but ordination is not supposed to be taken lightly.

It is moments like this that I look back and see who made the differences in my life. Mr. Paul, Mrs. Mina, John Hargett, Gil, Chaplain Bartz, Chaplain Narvaez, Jim Richardson, Chad Acklin, Mike Smith, Mrs. Roquette, Eric Johnson, Bill Baldwin, Glenn Tamura, Chaplain Clark and his diving team, Chris Magoon, Ron Curran, Brian Simms, John Denver and Kermit the Frog, Tom Parker, Todd Gordon, Tim Dunham, Timothy Mantzey, Arlette Dunham, Paul Reed, Mr. Clem, Roger Greenwalt, Bob Bland, Gordy Grover, Brian Ayers, Avery Myers, Linda Cataldo, Chaplain Stone, Chaplain Targonski. There are so many more that I have forgotten a name or forgotten a face that have impacted me over the years and made me who I am -- both positively and negatively. Some have gone on to meet our Lord, some have moved away from me, some I have moved away from. Some I have lost track of. Some are people who our paths just crossed for a moment that changed my life forever. I am a product of those God has put into my life to make me more like His Son. I thank God for the direction He has lead me and how He continues to change me to be more like Him.

If you can make it January 11th, ordination service should start at 6:30 pm at our church.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

2008-12-11T13:29:00.000-08:00

I am going to share something that is kinda personal today. I'll try to be decent enough to not embarrass anyone, except myself maybe.

When my wife and I first got married, we figured out that we needed two blankets on our bed, one for her and one for me. We can't really be too close to each other while we sleep since Trina thinks I am a human furnace and I roll around too much for her to sleep next to me (the king size bed is great!) So the two blankets we have are both the same color on the outside but the underneath is different. One is smooth and cooler while the other is fuzzy and inherently warmer.

Originally, the fuzzy blanket was mine. I don't mind being warm, even in the summer. When that first winter came, I was surprised when one night, I went in the bedroom and discovered that my wife stole my blanket and gave me the smooth, cooler one. She was too cold.

So for a couple of years, I suffered through the colder weather, trying different blankets to augment my warmth deficiency. What we do for love. Nothing seemed to work until I finally found the right blanket. It is a knit blanket made out of some kind of heat-capturing material (I think it's polyester yarn.) It goes under the smooth blanket very smoothly and works wonders. The initial problem -- it's pink.

It's in my bedroom and no one sees it except my kids and now my mother-in-law when I wash it. So that's not too much of a problem. There is starting to be a bigger problem though. The material is not incredibly durable. The blanket is now just about equal parts pink wonderfulness and empty nothingness as the holes get bigger and bigger each wash.

But, oh how wonderful to once again be embraced by my 'pretty pink blanket.' It is probably the best thing to happen each year between Thanksgiving and Christmas. OK, that may be going too far, but it is a great day when it comes out of our closet because the blanket switch has occurred.

More on Dennis

2008-12-08T18:22:00.000-08:00

http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/local/inland_empire&id=6545250

Here is the ABC news story and video. The first time I saw it, it was unnerving to see Dennis' face. It was a hard day at work today.

This is actually right up the street from Trina's grandmother's house... within 1/2 mile. Nice area.

Some sad news and a chance to pray

2008-12-08T10:12:00.001-08:00

One of my co-workers, Dennis, was mugged in back of his church on Saturday night. He was severely injured with hammer blows to the head which fractured his skull and shattered his eye socket (the eye is ok.) He is currently in a drug-induced coma to help him to try to heal from this.

In the conversations Dennis and I had about children's ministry (he is the children's director at his church), he is a man who loves kids and loves to make God real in their lives. He loves his community and runs a bus ministry to pick them up from around the church. He stood up for justice and right, even when he could be put in danger. He shined his light in work with the children and teachers of our school district. This couldn't happen to a nicer man.

Right now, I am sure his family is wondering why him. I don't know why. What I do know is that God can work things out for the best for those who believe in Him. This includes Dennis' church, his family, friends, and our office. If you can find a moment, pray for Dennis to heal. Pray for his family to heal and forgive. Forgiving those who wrong a loved one is harder than even forgiving those who wrong you.

I want to get up and do something. I want to go out and find these guys. I want to go to his church and pray. I want to visit Dennis (although he is probably under an alias at a hospital since he was mugged) so he is unvisitable. I want to do something. But right now, my best weapons are my knees.

New Years is coming, the year is getting fat

2008-12-07T23:54:00.000-08:00

I know we haven't gotten to Christmas yet and this is like starting to have Christmas decorations up in October before Halloween (I'm looking at you Wal-Mart) but this is for good reason. We are doing the "New Years Around the World" event at church and there is a lot of preparation that needs to take place. We need to have a snack from each place, a craft, a missionary and missionary story, and some history of the country.

Well, our countries are, in order of time it turns midnight:
We start at 10:00 making decorations for India when it turns 10:30
10:30 India
12:00 Udmurtia, Russia
1:00 Iraq
2:00 Macedonia

In the 2 hrs we have for India, we need to cook lunch as well as eat it and do the craft and missionary story. I do need to get in contact with a missionary there.

For Russia, I am in contact with a missionary there by e-mail. I also am following his blog (although he is transferring my request to his partner.) He has a very interesting blog. It's amazing what you can find on blogger with google.

In Iraq, one of my former chaplains, Chaplain Bartz (who I credit as one of the most influential people in my life (I wrote an essay for a scholarship in school that listed my two most influential people in my life -- my dad was first and Chaplain Bartz was second)) has pulled some strings for me and got an e-mail from me to a Southern Baptist chaplain in Iraq. So we are starting communications.

In Macedonia, I found a contact through the Russian missionary. She has an interesting blog too. Our only problem with Macedonia is that it is actually 3 pm here when it's midnight there, but it is because they went with central Europe instead of Greece. It is right above Greece though, so I am going to fudge it over so we start at 2:00 pm and when we leave at 3, we will celebrate Macedonian New Year.

So now, I need to start trying to get in contact with someone currently working in India. We were looking at some Indian food sites -- this may be interesting. The most interesting part will be coming up with the funds to buy all this stuff. We may charge a small fee to cover the cost -- maybe $5. For lunch, snacks, crafts and 5 hours, that's a pretty good deal. I am going to have to really have a really tight budget though.

I am looking forward to this.

I got tagged again and now I have to remove this spray paint from my shoes.

2008-12-05T17:02:00.001-08:00

I got tagged again so I have to come up with 7 more things you don't know about me necessarily.

1) I once got spanked for throwing an imaginary football. My sister and I were playing in our room, she being a fan in the stands cheering me on as I was the quarterback for the football team. (I was probably 6 at the time, my sister 5 or 4.) I turned and threw her the "football" and she backed up to catch it... right through our bedroom window. And it was closed. And she hit the ground outside. I think I was punished more because my dad was mad than for throwing the invisible, intangible and perfectly safe imaginary football.

2) When I was 7, my family went to visit my mom's sister, my Aunt Ruth, up in Reno. I still don't know that side of the family very well, but got to know my cousin Kyle some. He got a brand new bike for Christmas and I got his old one for Christmas. It was fantastic. It was blue, sparkly, and I loved it. I rode that thing for years as I did jumps off of curves, rode fast, and had a blast.

3) Before I got that blue bike, I was over at my cousin's house (Sal -- from Dad's side of the family) and he and a couple of our cousins decided to go to the local liquor store to get some candy. They left without me riding bikes, but I decided after a while I wanted to join them. Of course, I didn't ride a bike but brought one anyways because having a bike would be faster. So after my dad went wild trying to find me (he did find me right up the road from the liquor store -- talk about a different world) my cousin decided it was time to teach me to ride a bike.

4) While learning to ride a bike, I crashed a lot. One time, I crashed into a telephone pole, flew over the handle bars, missed the pole somehow and did a 'Pete Rose' slide (Headfirst) under a parked car. I got up and wanted to do it again.

5) When I was 9 years old, I played Little League Baseball in the Minors. I was on second base when my teammate hit to the outfield. I rounded third base and headed home and saw the catcher catch the ball and sit down on the plate waiting for me to show up. Having nothing else to do, I slid. While sliding, I lifted my leg and kicked the catcher in the chest, knocking him back a good 5 or 6 feet, where he dropped the baseball. I was called safe. The guy who hit me in was on second where the next batter hit pretty much the same ball. The catcher caught the ball and sat down on the plate again. The guy who hit me in did a drop kick into the catcher. The catcher flew back a good 5 - 6 feet and dropped the ball. The runner was called out and kicked out of the game for excessive violence. The moral of the story: If you are going to kick the catcher in the chest, be slick.

6) I tried out for my high school baseball team when I was a freshman. I was such a geek (still am.) I wore my cleats during the track running and didn't do very well. I really didn't have the talent to make the team (although I had heart.) The coach offered me the chance to be the team score keeper (basically, the laundry kid) and get a letter. Not the way I wanted to get a letter, so I declined and that was the end of my high school sports career. I hit the books instead... ok, I cruised through High School.

7) My second deployment in the Navy was a WesPac (Western Pacific Tour.) Part of a WesPac was the Middle East/Persian Gulf. I met up with my ship while it was in the Persian Gulf. Not knowing much of anyone, I spent our first port call in Dubai, UAE, walking around town in my American clothes, being hot because it was hot outside, and wandering around a deserted mall because they close for siesta time (I'm not sure what that is called in Arabic, but it was pretty much a siesta.) I look back now and wonder how I didn't end up on a terrorist video talking about the greatness of Saddam Hussien and the evils of Bill Clinton (This was back in 1994.)

Ok, I didn't tag anyone last time, but I will tag... no one this time either. And there are no tag backs.

Cutting open the bottle

2008-12-05T15:00:00.001-08:00

Just to let you know, I'm doing ok. The funk isn't killing me so it's all good :)

This morning, I was cooking up some eggs and turkey ham for a sandwich. I took a bite of it and decided I needed some green salsa. We had a bottle that we hadn't used in San Diego that still had that stupid plastic ring on the top to seal in the freshness and keep out the creep-ohs that want to poison my salsa. So I try to use a fingernail to open it. There's no perforation.
Not a problem, I'll hold the bottom of the bottle with one hand and use a knife in the other hand to cut it open. Great. I works... to a point. The top of the ring, which covers the top of the lid, comes off but there is still enough of it left to keep it sealed.
Bummer. So, now I figure, I'll tempt fate. I will hold onto the bottle with one hand and only move the knife back and forth on the ring of plastic to cut it enough to tear it off. No luck. Can I slip the knife under the seal enough to cut it? I push a little, knowing in my head that I don't cut towards myself because I no likey getting cut. So, not too much pressure. Cut a little, not through yet.
Ok, a little more pressure, knowing that I don't want to cut myself. I get through, finally, and go through to my left index finger where I poked myself with the knife. Of course, if you've ever had your finger pricked for a blood sample or something like that, you know how much that index finger bleeds when it gets pricked. So now, I got this shallow cut on my index finger that hurts a little when typing (it really isn't bad at all. Don't call 9-11 for me.)

There have been times in my life that I see something that I know is wrong and think, I wonder how close I can get without falling into sin. And over and over again, I go over the mark and fall as one would suspect. It's like that bottle where I want to open it but don't want to get hurt but keep trying things that will get me closer and closer to being cut until finally I am. You would think I would learn but sin still has that way of tempting me to push it to the edge -- and me realizing that me trying to get as close without actually doing so is sin to me since I have been called to live a life of holiness, not tightrope walking on the edge of neigh-invulnerabilty. (SPOON!)

I wonder how cut my soul is from pushing that knife through the barriers of sin? Thank God that He has plenty of band-aids and lots of love and kisses to heal me.

How Funky is Your Chicken?

2008-12-04T07:59:00.000-08:00

You know, there are times that I really get into a funk and I think yesterday was one that put me into one right now.

As of right now, I have a dull pain coming from one of my teeth, but that is pretty normal so it is easy to ignore. Then I learned last night that the budget for the church has been cut in every single department, including $1000 off the budget for VBS, bringing it from $1,500 to $500. I order more than $500 in curriculum so I don't know how this is going to work.

Right now, the idea is that there will be a series of fundraisers in the church limited to once a month. Now on the calendar, the Youth department already has a chicken wing bake sale set for Super Bowl Sunday (and they are good wings.) AWANA has one set for the end of February on the calendar already - the AWANA Art Auction. Kids come and make art, as well as some donated by the rest of the church, that is bid on in a silent auction. I need to start some sculpy scultures soon. So we are talking in the following 10 months needing fundraisers for Youth Camp, Children's Camp, VBS and possibly a Car Show. I talked to Shawn last night and mentioned that we need to start fundraising outside of the church because our people are tapped out. Candy sells. Those stupid little sticker books that get you discounts all over the place. Door-to-door viagra sales. Things like that. I hate turning our kids into little Am-Way Salesmen though -- especially with how much fundraising they do with school.

And then, as of late, it seems that I don't seem to do much right. Apparently, I'm not that good of a kids pastor. I've been a pretty lousy husband lately. I am not much of a housekeeper. I don't have enough time for the kids. Of course, hearing this over and over again has put me into a nice funk that I have to fight now to stay out of.

Some ideas floating in my head right now:
1) Wednesday Night at church: Mission emphasis is not really working right now. Perhaps we need something more practical like free homework tutoring with a Bible story in the middle (short.) Kind of a Bible Homework club.

2) Advent conspiracy is still floating around. Pastor didn't like the idea, but was ok with the idea of not buying one gift and making something instead and donating the price of the one gift to Lottie Moon. That may be something to think about for next year.

3) New Years Around the World is looming - December 31st. We will be celebrating New Years as it happens in India, Kabul, the U.A.E., Tanzania, and Spain. I need craft ideas, snack ideas (Lunch for either Kabul or Dubai), and missionary stories (Kabul will be a military chaplain. Dubai cannot be specific since that is in the red zone and missionaries there are undercover. Tanzania will be Richard and Karen Lee, who just spoke at our church on Sunday. Anyone know any chaplains in Afghanistan right now?)

4) What kind of fundraisers can the kids do that do not tax the congregation but can bring in outside dollars?

Ok, so I'll be fighting the funk today. Pray for me.

On the twelfth day of the playoffs...

2008-11-28T23:29:00.000-08:00

Ok, I mentioned this on facebook, so on the ride up from San Diego, I was trying to keep myself awake by thinking of the 12 days of Christmas as a Laker's song. I'll throw out what I have so far:

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
A Shaq O'Neil Rap CD or...
A Shaq Shazam Soundtrack CD or...
The big Aristotle's confusing CD or...
Mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble

On the Second Day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Two Payton Gloves...

On the Third Day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Three beatdowns to French Lick...

On the Fourth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Four Calls from Hearn...

On the Fifth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Five Championship Rings...
Five more Championship Rings....
Did I mention 14 Championship Rings....?

On the Sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Six Three's a making...

On the Seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Several Suns a-bricking...

On the Eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Ocho time three Jerseys...

On the Ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Nine Laker Dancers

On the Tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Ten Lakers a Slamming

On the Eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Eleven Skyhooks dropping

On the Twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
....

Ok. So this is a start :)

Movie Review: The Boy in Stripped Pajamas

2008-11-28T23:07:00.000-08:00

Ok, so last night after the kids went to bed, my wife, brother-in-law, and sister-in-law went out to see the movie "The Boy in Stripped Pajamas." Not knowing much going in, let me say that it was a good movie... although it's hard to say that I truly enjoyed it when the subject is the Holocaust. Did I enjoy Schindler's List? No, but I thought it was a movie important to see but too hard to see a second time. As the Jews have said, never forget. By not forgetting, we are not doomed to repeat the past.

I put this movie on par with Schindler's, although it is not as gripping. It's hard to say much about the movie without giving up everything, but it goes where my wife feared from the very beginning, even before we walked in. It is a story about the innocence of a child in a time of extreme hatred and seeing beyond the stereotypes to find who is really inside.

Ok, if you don't want to know more, stop reading now. It's hard, like I said, to talk about this without giving some specifics.

Are you still here?

Ok. In the end, hatred conquers innocence inadvertently. The best, and worst laid plans of mice and men end in the destruction of what is good. There is a point in the movie where you know how it is going to end and want to reach out, grab the kid, and tell him to stop being so naive, stop being so innocent and trusting -- but in all reality, is this ever something that you want to tell a kid? When confronted between hatred and innocent, our hero chooses humanity. Our hero looks past the hatred of others to see who is inside -- the doctor, the watchmaker, the happy child. He learns the danger of betrayal and learns loyalty while never losing his child-like view of the world.

In the end, this is a divine irony and a tragedy.

I recommend if you get a chance to go see it, do. It is gripping and worth watching once -- although, like Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan, End of the Spear and other movies that are stronger than our emotions can handle, it may be hard to watch a second time.

Why is Thanksgiving only once a year?

2008-11-27T07:28:00.000-08:00

There is a Sesame Street video where Elmo wants Christmas to be everyday and his wish comes true. It becomes a disaster - where even the Count getstire of counting how many Christmas days in a row it is. If you want to watch it, it's on youtube in 6 parts (I believe). It's called Elmo Saves Christmas.

Anyway, I am not talking about making a turkey, having the bad can of cranberries, doing the stuffing and watching football (although 365 days of that may not be too bad.) I'm talking about the attidute of Thanksgiving. Having turkey sandwiches, turkey soup, turkey mixed with stuffing, turkey straight up, and turkey casserol for the next two weeks is already too much "Thanksgiving" for me. So the question of why aren't we more thankful more often is really what I come to. It is something God needs to work on me more with too.

Some ideas (some I do, some I probably don't as often as I should):
1) Thank your servers at restaurants and cashiers at fast food by name. They wear those name tags for a reason and it isn't so you know who to complain about. My wife hates it when I say, "Thank you, Kathy." or whoever, but I know I like being called by my name because it makes me feel more human instead of just an autonotrom earning a paycheck.
2) Start looking at the little things around you instead of being so busy going from place to place and thank God for his blessings. I've deliberately started walking slower just to see things I would normally miss. It is a world of wonders that God deserves to be thanked for.
3) Thank God for the bad times. God allows those struggles in our lives because it helps us grow up to be more like His Son. So it isn't all bad.
Romans 5:3-5
"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

So, I would like to officialy begin my hopefully more often than annual Thanksgiving list:

1) I am thankful that I am still breathing, feeling, thinking and walking. It's quite the blessing.
2) I am thankful for my wonderful family and that they drag me out of my introverted caccoon all the time.
3) I am thankful for my mother-in-law for putting up with my kids.
4) I am thankful for my son and his autism as it has taught me to be more caring for those in need and to see the strength of God through his weaknesses.
5) I am thankful for 3 cheerleader daughters who are way too loud in the morning but always rush up to me after any separation, screaming, "Daddy!" and giving hugs. Baby hugs have a way of making the troubles of the day disappear.
6) I am thankful for a wife who puts up with my bad jokes, who loves me even when I am inconsiderate or lazy, and who calls me her favorite husband when I do something nice. Her companionship means more to me that I probably ever let on and for that, not only am I thankful to her but I am sorry I don't let it known more.
7) I am thankful that God has us at our church right now and that He has big plans ahead for our church.
8) I am thankful I lost my paycheck from the church. It hurts, but God knows what he is doing and so I will praise Him when I win and praise Him when I lose.
9) I am thankful for the job God has provided and the skill-sets He has graced me with to do the jobs that no one else is trained for there. I thank Him for the logical/inquisitive mind He has given me to try to make things work and how they work because it makes computer work so much easier.
10) I am thankful for the desire God has given me to work with kids and see them come to Christ. Talk about struggles :) I pray that God restores to me more of that kid-like heart that has grown cold lately so that I can see through the eyes of a kid the wonders of His word, His world, and His ministry.
11) I am thankful that I don't have to stop at 10 :) This is my list and I'll thank who I want to!
12) I am thankful for my friends. I am not the type of guy who keeps close friends because I have a hard time in communication but there are friends who stay with me and I am thankful for that.
13) Ok, I should have stopped at 12 since it's almost 8 and I should get back to my room.

Thank you, Lord, for the good, the bad, the happy and sad, the fights and joys, the girls and boys. Thank you mostly for your love as I wouldn't make it a day outside of your arms.

San Diego, here I come. Right back where I once fled from.

2008-11-26T20:44:00.000-08:00

Howdy from ~~Sunny~~ rainy San Diego. We are here down from our home to spend a couple days eating, going to Sea World, and not watching football. Right now, I'm down in the lobby returning the luggage cart while wandering around because, really, I don't feel like sitting up in the room with my brother-in-law, his wife and my wife watching Bones. We could have done that at home :) I found the 'game room' already -- which consists of a pool table. The exercise room may get some use tomorrow morning just to see what that's all about. And of course, I'm currently in the "Business Center."

Overall, the place is good looking. It is more hotelly than the place where my mother-in-law and kids are staying (another one of her time shares), but it's nice. They have a video arcade up there. I may have to go visit my kids sooner or later.

I am starting to draw a little for the kids book I'm working on (http://storyblueprint.blogspot.com) so things may start moving there. I keep getting blogster and blogspot mixed up.

So, in case you're wondering, that's where I am. Don't go looking for me as I am hiding from you.

Have a happy Thanksgiving. I'll probably be back tomorrow to do the traditional Thanksgiving post.

How would you like to do something.... BIG?

2008-11-25T16:45:00.001-08:00

Brian joined this group on Facebook that I think is actually totally amazing. I love the idea and would like to see some people join into it... probably next year so there is time to really do it well.

Here's the video:

http://www.adventconspiracy.org/resources/advent_conspiracy_promo_video/

I have this thing on my computer, but it is 24 megs. I'll copy it to my flash drive to share later.

The site is www.adventconspiracy.org
Take a look. Pray about it. Think about it. Wonder if it is something our church can do next year. Think about what you can make instead of buy. Homemade doesn't necessarily mean cheesy.

I like it. Brian, let's put some weight behind this because we have the weight to do so :)

Weight day #1

2008-11-24T23:00:00.001-08:00

Just a quick note. We did weights today at my parents house after HEROES (my current addiction.) I was at 282.4. If you look back to last week where I was 285, that's down 2.6 pounds -- which means I'm $2.50 poorer now than I was just hours ago. Good thing they take IOU's.

Next goal - 280. I actually ate grapes today.

More on Trina

2008-11-23T21:33:00.001-08:00

Ok, she's home.

She has "Costrocondritis." Here is what webmd says about it:

Costochondritis

Costochondritis Overview

Costochondritis is an inflammation of the junctions where the upper ribs join with the cartilage that holds them to the breastbone or sternum. The condition causes localized chest pain that you can reproduce by pushing on the cartilage in the front of your ribcage. Costochondritis is a relatively harmless condition and usually goes away without treatment. The cause is usually unknown.

Costochondritis (with unknown cause) is a common cause of chest pain in children and adolescents. It accounts for 10-30% of all chest pain in children. Annually, doctors evaluate about 650,000 cases of chest pain in young people aged 10-21 years. The peak age for the condition is 12-14 years.
Costochondritis is also considered as a possible diagnosis for adults who have chest pain. Chest pain in adults is considered a potentially serious sign of a heart problem by most doctors until proven otherwise. Chest pain in adults usually leads to a battery of tests to rule out heart disease. If those tests are normal, and your physical exam is consistent with costochondritis, your doctor will diagnose costochondritis as the cause of your chest pain. It is important, however, for adults with chest pain to be examined and tested before being diagnosed with costochondritis. Often it is difficult to distinguish the two, without further testing. The condition affects females more than males (70% versus 30%). Costochondritis may also occur as the result of an infection or as a complication of surgery on your sternum.
Tietze syndrome is often referred to as costochondritis, but the two are distinct conditions. You can tell the difference by noting the following:
- Tietze syndrome usually comes on abruptly, with chest pain radiating to your arms or shoulder and lasting several weeks.
- Sneezing, coughing, deep breathing, or twisting your chest can increase the pain.

It may be part of cutting down the tree that she strained her chest. It wasn't me.

So she's home, she's ok, but she's still in a small amount of pain. Keep praying for her.

Trina

2008-11-23T20:12:00.000-08:00

Well,
walking out of church this evening and my mom is rushing up to me, then points over by the door leading upstairs to the children's department. My wife is sitting down on the ground, leaning against the building and clutching her chest.
See, she's been having cholesterol problems lately, or more like it, they have been developing for a while. She has had some pains in the past and the doctors have told her if she doesn't control her intake, they are going to have to control it with medication.
So there she is. I come up to her and ask her how bad it is. She doesn't talk much. I do say that she needs to spend most of the day tomorrow in bed. This may be possible since Dianne is off tomorrow. We talk, others talk around us, including a nurse and someone else with some medical experience, and it is determined that she needs to go to the hospital. So I call Dianne.
In our house it usually ends up being that whoever needs to go to the hospital, I'll end up staying here at the house to take care of the kids and get them to bed. This is two fold. Trina hates me in hospitals as much as I dislike being there. Secondly, if they get back early enough, I can still get to sleep and go to work tomorrow (although I'm already thinking I'm going to have to call off tomorrow.) It is normal at this point. Dianne has more sick time on the books than I do, although with her already on vacation tomorrow, it makes a lot more sense.
I think everyone thought it weird that I didn't take her to the hospital and instead let Dianne take her. We have our routine. I think Trina does prefer it this way.
So, if you read this tonight, pray for Trina. If you read it tomorrow, pray for her some more. We need a healthy Trina around the house. She's too great of a mom and wife to be sick.

Shave and a haircut - 7 hours

2008-11-23T07:28:00.000-08:00

Not for me. Yesterday we started on the daunting task of trimming our tree. If you have ever been to our house, you know the monstrosity known as our fruitless mulberry. In fact, I believe you can see part of the tree on the top of this page. Just know, the picture was taken from the same side of the trunk as we are standing.

There are some good things about the tree. It helps keep the house cool during the summer from the shade it casts over the front windows. It has some big, strong branches that hold two hammock swings that our kids adore (Micah is in one of them up there.) And I guess I am carbonly off-set for the rest of my life because of that tree (beware, global cooling is coming!)

In my eyes though, the tree is sometimes more hassle than it's worth. During the fall, our yard (and our neighborhood) is covered with the thousands of leaves that take their time falling down. At night, the birds love our tree, and thus, show their love on our cars that we have to park underneath it. When it rains (which here in Southern California isn't too often) the water washes the rest of their love down on our cars and they become pretty disgusting. And then... there's the trimming.

Three of us armed with a chainsaw, branch cutter on a long pole, a couple of small 99.99 Cent Store saws (I asked, if you uy 100 items, you don't save a penny), a pair of pruning scissors and the sheer determination to drastically trim the tree this year, we set off at 10 am yesterday. Of course, with 4 kids inside, one of us had to stay inside on rotation to be with them as they watched out the window at the endeavor. Rotations were fast and furious. The cars were all moved (who wants a smashed windshield?) the chainsaw cutting ever-so-slowly (we need a better chainsaw -- not an idea for a Christmas gift Paul) and the branches began to fall. Well, sometimes. Oh what a tangled web they weave when first we practice to not trim the tree last year.

Come 5 pm, it's getting dark and we are.... 1/3 done. The branches are all cut up and stacked into a huge pile. The driveway is clear, both on the ground and above it from the cut branches being gone -- nothing but blue sky. Yay for free access by rain. But there will come another weekend where we are going to try to tackle the second third that will take another 7 hours, and probably a third weekend after that.

I'm just glad God doesn't get tired of pruning me like I am of that tree already.

John 15:1-2
1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.

Hurry up and Weight

2008-11-20T17:07:00.001-08:00

Well, my parents, sister, wife and I have started a... contest of sorts. We all weighed in on Monday after Heroes (I was 285) and then came up with the goal to lose 50 each. For every pound we lose, we put $1 in the pony. For every pound we gain, we put $2 in the pony. At the end of the time, we do a family activity to celebrate (probably not go out to eat.) So I'm supposed to get down to 235.. which isn't too bad since I said 225 was my goal just days before. Now to actually try to do something besides think about losing weight.

What is sad though is that my brother and sister-in-law were going to get into it also, but they suddenly pulled out. Personally, I think my sister-in-law doesn't like hanging out with our family (although I know Joey doesn't like hanging out with the extended family too much so it doesn't surprise me too much.) I miss my brother and think it would be cool for them to be in on this too but oh well.

I need to start thinking about how to lose weight though... seriously. I sit 8 hours a day for work. I like being on the computer or watching football. So it is a matter of getting up and doing something. My son and I could do some running around a park/school at waaaaaay too early in the morning. I could fix my bike and bike to church on the weekends, which would save us gas at the same time. Of course, I could cut down my fast food consumption to moderation. That would make my wife happy.

I guess I'll start with doing something with my son. In the evenings, I get home after dark, so that won't work unless we go somewhere (during the winter). During the spring, umpiring does help. I should maybe play football with the youth on Wednesday nights.

So... anyone have any suggestions to help a couch potato to get up and do something?

In the end... it's going to be about discipline and dedication. Thanks God. I don't want to learn those right now!

1 Corinthians 9:26-27

Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

7 random things and my wife wants me to make them things she doesn't know

2008-11-13T19:32:00.000-08:00

Ok, so my wife 'tagged' me on her blog with this:

So I'm supposed to give you 7 random things about me.

Ok, not too hard... or is it. Random things about me. And to make it worse, my wife wants me to make them things she doesn't know. Wow... talk about a daunting task. I guess there has got to be some history, some likes, and some actions.

So...

1. Somewhere at my parent's house I have a collection of machetes (ok, it's 3). I got one really nice one in Jamaica with a nice wooden sheath and 2 from Honduras that are generic. In Honduras, I thought I would share my love of machetes with everyone and so I bought little wooden machetes for everyone who supported me to go to Honduras.

2. When I was in Jamaica, I had pistachio ice cream almost everyday. Of course, I was about 100 lbs back then, so it did me no harm. Man, I miss my metabolism.

3. During the summer between my 6th grade and 7th grade years, my brother and sister were in year around school so I was by myself. My best friend went back to New Hampshire to visit his dad, so I was pretty much all by myself. I spent the summer eating chicken noodle soup, raisins and playing "Santa Marina" on our TRS-80 model 3 computer. K-Lord was new around this time so I was listening to them off and on except they were playing "Oh, Happy Day" once an hour, so it got old pretty quick.

4. I once spent $200 hiring a taxi to take me from San Diego to my parent's house for my dad's birthday party because I didn't feel like waiting 12 hours. I just got paid so to me, it was no big deal. I just have to get out of town in my mind. My parents thought I was crazy.

5. My wife knows this. I never finished a book while I was in High School. Let's take Lord of the Flies, for example. I read everything but the last two chapters. We discussed the last two chapters so much in class that I didn't feel like I needed to finish it. Same thing with Hamlet, MacBeth, Romeo and Juliet and Huckleberry Finn. I loved them all, but never finished them. I guess I just wasn't too curious as to how it ended, or maybe it was I didn't want the story to end and so it continued in my mind because I never got to the end of the book. I'm guessing I was just lazy.

6. I am starting to do some real leg work to write a children's book. 2 days so far -- but 2 days are 2 days further than I was 2 days ago. If you want to follow along, here's the blog to track my work: http://storyblueprint.blogspot.com/ It's called, "My Journey into the World of Children's Literature." Let's see if I have the dedication to keep it going.

7. While my wife is a book person, I am a movie and TV person. My current show is HEROES. I'm majorly geeky into it -- into the online comics, the online community, and the online game. I like taking part in the group effort to solve the puzzles. I got really into what is called and "ARG" (Alternate Reality Game) back a few years ago when a really good ARG was introduced at the unforums at unfiction.com based on the Matrix -- one of my comfort movies. My comfort movies are:

The Matrix trilogy
Shawshank Redemption
Cars
Rudy
The Princess Bride
Major League
Groundhog Day
Ferris Bueller's Day Off

I can watch these over and over again when I'm alone. I like them. They are my books for the lazy :D

Ok, there's my 7. I think 5 of them are new for Trina, but what was she expecting. She gave me.... nothing new :)

No on 8 protests get personal

2008-11-13T06:55:00.000-08:00

http://www.sacbee.com/entertainment/story/1391705.html

http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/local/los_angeles&id=6502661

The backlash has begun -- and it is no surprise. Above are links to two stories about people who donated money to the Yes on 8 campaign being personally targeted for their donation. Donations are a matter of public record so it is fine that they are being asked by those around them. What this is turning into though is intimidation for voting in what you believe. If you believe differently than those around you, they can get you to resign (even after 25 years of dedicated service). They can slander your business on all the news channels.
From their point of view, since you "encouraged hate," they can encourage hate against you, making 2 wrongs right. I have been asked why I supported 8. Of course it is because of my religious convictions. Let me see if I can find my exact response:
Where my problem comes is the federal government taking something that I believe is morally wrong and them declaring it morally right. For the most part, I am libertarian when it comes to financial decisions, but when it comes to things that are my beliefs and convictions, I don't believe the government should condone it.
More importantly:
Isaiah 5:20
20 Woe to those who call evil good
and good evil,
who put darkness for light
and light for darkness,
who put bitter for sweet
and sweet for bitter.

But remember, Jesus said:
18"If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. 20Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also." John 15:18-20.

Is it any wonder that the world is going after those it hates?

Micah went to the game yesterday

2008-11-09T14:00:00.001-08:00

Well, at the little league I umpire at, the president of the league is the mother of one of the football players at Oregon State. He's quite a good player too. But anyways, she invited me to go to the UCLA/Oregon State game earlier in the summer and I was able to go yesterday with Micah.
We wrote letters yesterday at the church and then came home, dropped Becca off, and we were on our way. Micah seemed excited to go to the football game which is always good. We end up getting to the Rose Bowl around noon. I'm getting pictures up for where we parked and where we joined up with everyone for the tailgate party...

Ok, an explanation of the numbers:

#1 -- This is where I parked my car. Yes, it's in the middle of a golf course. I'd say that is in the middle of the 18th fairway since the club house is right next to the green there.

#2 -- This is where the tailgate party was. It took Micah and I about a half hour to get from our car to their party. We walked it 4 times - once to start the day, once before the game so we could get back to the car, put stuff away and put suntan lotion on so I wouldn't get a lobster boy, once back to the part after putting suntan lotion on and once after the game when we went back to the party, had some more to eat in the dark, and then left about 7:15 pm.

#3 -- This is where we were sitting with a group of board members from the little league I ump at. Very nice people. It was fun to watch the game but you know, after watching football on tv all the time when you are constantly on the line of scrimmage following the ball, it is kinda weird to be stationary so far away from the play. We never knew if they made 10 yards for a first down until they moved the chains pretty much. But you know, being part of the crowd is always fun.

#4 -- This is where Micah and I passed Coach Rick Neuheisel as he was going home for the day. Since we were with the party for the Oregon State player, we were in orange. He was a gracious guy though. He said, "Have a good night." Yeah, I know, amazing. Well, at the time I was on the phone with Trina, walking with my son holding my hand. I said, "Thanks." He seems like a nice guy though. My run-in with near celebrity :D

Overall, the day was good. The game was tied 3-3 at the end of the half so everyone stayed around through the half. Then Oregon State put two quick touchdowns in the 3rd and the waves of defectors began. By the end of the third, the stadium (at one time holding 86,000 people) is now half empty. By the end of the fourt, there's more orange than blue in the stadium. Micah enjoyed himself, but boy, that boy can wolf down some cotton candy.

It was interesting though. At the end of the game, Coach Neuheisel gets on the stadium PA system and thanks those who stuck around to the end and appologized that they have not been performing better. He was embarrassed, disappointed but said that he is working at restoring the glory for UCLA. That, to me, is quite the coach. He didn't say my players failed. He didn't say we didn't have it today. He took responsibility in front of the loyal fans and said something. I like the guy. I hope UCLA gets back to some dominance so that the UCLA/USC games are competitive and looked-forward to.

I'd love to go back for some college football though. It's a blast being part of something so communial. I mentioned to someone though that this would be a great sociology project talking about the propaganda involved in college football to create that community and loyalty. I like being part of that.

2 Timoth 2:5
"Similarly, if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor's crown unless he competes according to the rules."

The great shakeup of 2008

2008-11-06T20:16:00.001-08:00

Well, it has been a while since I posted. In fact, it's been since September 11th, so it may be time to post again.

What has happened in the last 2 months?

I had my birthday. I was depressed. I got over it. What was weirdest/most telling was that all of my gifts had to do with food. I wonder if someone is trying to tell me something. I like food. Perhaps I like food too much. Maybe it is time to start showing some self-discipline and stop being lazy. I don't know if I'm up for it, but it's time to start getting serious about life and discipline.

I have been doing mediocre lately in my ministry but I think something has turned a corner. I think I am finally ready to get back into the swing of things after too long being out of the swing of things. One of the things that came up was Harvest Festival. I don't know how willing I was to start off, but my brother-in-law really pushed me through it and by the time it came around, I was in the swing of things. We ended up having about 400 people come through our Harvest Festival -- 300 of which weren't members of our church. It was quite an outreach and now we have our work ahead of us to follow up on everything. I did e-mail everyone who gave me an e-mail address the same night (although I haven't heard anything back from anyone yet.)

Election night was interesting. I had special class with my family and so I had the laptop watching election results. It became pretty evident that Obama won about 7 pm to me, considering all he needed was 15 electoral votes + the 55 California votes he was getting no matter what. So that was not too much of a surprise. What was a surprise, and a pleasant one at that, is that Proposition 8 won. Of course, it's not over. If it would have failed, I don't think there would be marching in the streets, but ok. I understand why.

What is going on though is the perversion of love. I see the signs, "My love is the same as your love." "We demand equality." "No to H8te." The Bible tells us that God is love. It also tells us that homosexuality is God giving man over to their sinful desires, exchanging what is natural for what is unnatural. Reading through Romans 1, we can see that we are in the last verses of Romans 1.

29 They are full of every kind of sin, evil and ungodliness. They want more than they need. They commit murder. They want what belongs to other people. They fight and cheat. They hate others. They say mean things about other people. 30 They tell lies about them. They hate God. They are rude and proud. They brag. They think of new ways to do evil. They don't obey their parents. 31 They are foolish. They can't be trusted. They are not loving and kind.
32 They know that God's commands are right. They know that those who do evil things should die. But they continue to do those very things. They also approve of others who do them.

The amount of people out there in Hollywood who are not gay but marching because they believe this is a civil right says that they are approving of others who sin. They are calling wrong right and right evil now. I have seen my views called nearly racism, that I am acting in hate, that this is wrong to deny people the right to marry. God is love. We, as a society, have distorted love. We have turned love around to a gushy feeling that is easy to fall into and sometimes even easier to fall out of.

I have also been asked why denying them the right to marry is right. Wouldn't outlawing adultery be just as affective in sanctity of marraige? How come we stand up against this sin but not others? Just because we do not stand up to every sin does not make it wrong when we stand up against one. It isn't a hatred of homosexuals. I have worked with homosexuals. I have been cordial. I talked to them everyday, was friendly, and greeted them with a warm smile and handshake. It is not the person I am against. It is the normalization of something God calls sin and making it normal and sin to stand against.

I understand the civil right marches that are starting to take place because they are hearily approving of those who do evil in the sight of God as normal behavior.

On Saturday, we are having a letter writing campaign to write Marine recruits to thank them for being a part of our military. The letters will go into Christmas stockings that will be hand delivered. It is a really cool project that I look forward to being a part of for a while.

The following Saturday is our second annual car show. Should be a good time.

Ok, done for now. But let me close with this:

"1 All of you must be willing to obey completely those who rule over you. There are no authorities except the ones God has chosen. Those who now rule have been chosen by God."

I guess there's one more thing. I am considering starting a weekly morning prayer session to pray for our government, federal, state, local and finally our church. It would probably be from 6 am - 7 am at the church and I fully expect to pray for Obama, Feinstein, Boxer, Schwartzeneger, Baca, our mayor, not that God will change them necessarily, but that they will make wise decisions, that God will minister to them and bless them, and that God blesses America, as well as confessing our own sin and throwing ourselves fully on the grace of God. It is time that the church as a whole repents and gets serious about God.

I am such a tool

2008-09-11T16:10:00.000-07:00

Well, from my last post we learned that my car's battery decided it wanted to go to a better place. Last night, we found out where that better place is going to be - K-Mart. We got a new battery for my car last night and I started to change the old one out. This is one of those batteries where the bolts go in the side of the batter instead of a connector to the top. So disconnecting them includes unscrewing the bolts to disconnect the wires. I got the negative bolt off with no problem and then started to work on the positive bolt.

I had a crescent wrench that is actually pretty cool -- it's like a monkey crescent wrench. But it didn't like that small bolt very much and started to strip the bolt. Then I went and grabbed a real monkey wrench and it stripped it more. So I quit for the night and went to look for a socket set in the morning. I thought I had mine down at the church, but it wasn't there. So I borrowed the church's set. I came home and tried to take off the bolt again. I sprayed it with some PB Blaster. I tried different sizes, but the bolt was stripped and wouldn't come out. So I went online and saw a pretty obvious thing -- try a pipe wrench. It worked and I was able to finish changing my battery -- which worked. I drove to work without being jumped this morning (which says a lot in San Bernardino. I hate being jumped -- especially when I'm broke anyway.)

But this whole thing got me thinking about something Trina and I were talking about last night while shopping for the battery. The fact that neither of us really have any close friends anymore outside of each other. The frustration of working but not developing the relationships needed to keep people involved and engaged in the ministry of the church. Going through all those tools this morning trying to change my battery makes me wonder if I am a tool in the wrong setting. My crescent wrench is a great tool that is good for changing tires, brakes, and bolts everywhere but on my battery. The monkey wrench is a good tool too. The socket set is probably the right tool until something goes wrong. The pipe wrench is an emergency stop-gap measure that shouldn't work but does. Am I the wrong tool for the right job right now? Am I the right tool in the wrong job because I've stripped the job of it's original integrity? Have I stripped others around me of their authority, the respect they deserve, or passion because I have been out of it for the last year?

Right now, everyone is talking about 7 years since the attack on the World Trade Center changed our lives. It didn't come to me until that last sentence in the last paragraph that it has been about a year since my twin towers crumbled -- the closure of the school and me going from full-time to part-time and the beginning quest of looking for a job -- which took 6 months and most of my self-esteem.

Anyway, back to being a tool. I've noticed relationships I had in the past have deteriorated to small-talk acquaintances. I do wonder if it's me, that some have seen the wrong side of me and figured they don't want to associate with me anymore, that I just am not interesting anymore. Then I wonder if it is the fact that we have a difficult group to be with as we have 4 kids under 7 and Micah can snap at any given moment to undesirable to everyone but our family. Is it that we seem too needy? Socially inept?

Maybe because I don't follow social norms as tightly (or at all) as some (or most) would deem necessary. Growing up, I used to just show up at certain people's houses all the time and hang out. That isn't looked on as an enduring quality now that I have a family and they have a family. I wonder how the Dunham's dealt with me. Maybe I'm just not a good friend. I can see that. I am horrible at communication. I am not too active. I don't know. Maybe my tool kit has gone bad and others are moving on with other tools that will help them build the lives they want. Maybe I have been left behind because I'm just the big kid who has turned a little too serious lately.

I am sure if I reread this post right now, I'd be depressed. Sorry for the sad emo-istic life story. In all reality though, I still see God at work in my life and in my family. I am just wondering if God may be closing things and causing discontentment to make it obvious when he opens something else -- but I am prepared to stay where I am. Whatever God does, He knows what He is doing better than I do.

The Verse:

Psalm 34:17-19

17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.

18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

19 A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all

I took Potpourri for $100

2008-09-08T21:09:00.000-07:00

If you ever watched Jeopardy, one of the best categories is always Potpourri, because it is a catch-all category. It's like they researched so much on a subject and had more than 5 questions that they had to save the 6th question for the infamous catch-all category. So, this post, like the category, will be my potpourri post.

I'll take potpourri for $200 (Weird Al is now outdated with the new money amounts.)

Micah looks like he got punched in the eye and someone clubbed him in the knee. Trina had to take him to the hospital today and tonight. This morning, he eye was all swelled up (although he could see out of it still unlike tonight when it had swelled shut.) The doctor thought it was some kind of allergic reaction. Meantime, sometime between when I get home and about 7:30, Micah comes out of his room and his knee is all swelled up. So they took him back to the hospital tonight. Well, they just got back at 9:30 (a very short visit) and he's on benedryl and amoxacillan (both spelled wrong.) So pray for him to clear up soon. He missed school today and he'll miss it again tomorrow.

How about Potpourri for $400.

My car is falling apart. It's not the nice dent in the side. It's not the interior (although I could use a nice cleaning), it's the fact that the battery has officially died. I can drive for a while, then stop the car and almost immediately try to restart it, absolutely no charge. So it's time to buy a new battery -- as if we can afford it. But that's the fun part.

Potpourri for $600

Yes, Sarah Palin. People disparage her because she is good looking, because she has no national experience, because she is a conservative, because she's a mom of a down's syndrome kid, because she should be a mom and not a politician. How much was made of the guy standing up and yelling that Hillary needed to iron his shirt?
You know what, I like her. I like that she is a person of character. Character still does count. People complain about Bush because he does not waiver from what he sees is right even if he is seen as stupid, doing the unpopular thing, or going against public opinion. One of the reasons our government was made the way it is was to protect us from the whims of the plurality. Us being in Iraq is right. It may not be popular. In fact, it may be downright hated by most (some because they don't like seeing us succeed since we are pampered, some because they hate capitalism and think socialism or communism is better, and a minority because they want to protect our soldiers) but we are following a policy we have followed since the times of Teddy Roosevelt and beyond. The idea that we are the world police -- or more appropriately -- we are the good people who stand up and make sure that evil does not succeed.
But now back to Sarah Palin. I think she is the type of person who will stand against popular whims for what is right. She is articulate. She is good looking, but more importantly, she has a history of doing what is right. Everything I read about her, usually people complaining, tells me that politically, she is by far the closest to my ideology. I'm one of those people that the media was saying was revigarated by the Palin appointment.
What's funniest is the polls that are coming out right now saying McCain is ahead of Obama 50-46. I'm sure that's got some people scratching their head.

Potpourri for $800

DAILY DOUBLE! Let's make it a true daily double.

My mom calls me tonight and tells me that someone came by the church and told dad (he was there tonight) that the state controller owes the church some money and just asked for a 30% finders donation so they can continue to find people the state owes money to. So yeah, of course it's a scam. Not only does the state not owe the church money, but charging people for finding money the government owes them is illegal -- ignore all those become a federal money finder e-mails you get -- SCAM! So anyway, my mom goes to check on the church and decides to check for everyone she knows too. Well, apparently, Pac Bell owes me $90.92 for a deposit from an apartment we rented years ago. So good news there. I guess I have some paperwork to fill out since $90.92 will do us well in buying me Heroes Season 2 (I'm just kidding Trina.)

Potpourri for $1000

Like I said in my last post, I have been reading a book called "Raising a Modern Day Joseph." I've also been reading another book about leadership and team in a changing world. One of the things the leadership and team building book was talking about (I'm in chapter 1) is that the idea of a corporation is changing. Bureaucracy is shrinking. You can't do business the same way as was done in the 50's. But one of the things was that because of the shrinking size of corporations, they can't afford to do things twice. Everything needs to be done right the first time.
Well, we saw that in motion today at work. People need to take pride in their work and make it look the best they can in the time given. One of my co-workers was doing enough to get it done but it was really sloppy. After she left (I'm a secretary -- most people I work with are she's) we had to go back and fix it. We didn't have time and tomorrow morning we are going to have to push through it and work harder than should have been worked.
But my new supervisor came in today to just visit because she was doing paperwork downtown to make it official that she will by my supervisor. My pastor's wife applied for the job, but it's not her. But anyways, she seemed nice enough for 5 minutes we saw her. It will be nice to have the ultimate authority to give us some vision and direction that we know is not going to change next week (at least we hope.) We'll see when she gets to work.

Ok, so that's potpourri. I'm sure there is more, but we only have 5 answers so potpourri on potpourri may come later.

What are you doing after High School?

2008-08-19T23:29:00.001-07:00

I am in the middle of actually reading a book. Yeah, I know it's a rare occasion, but this is actually really riveting. The book is called, "Raising a Modern Day Joseph." I am about 4 chapters in right now, but it is eye opening.
The entire book is written off the premise that somewhere around 80-90% of all kids who grow up in church fall away, if not for just a year, when they graduate from High School and how we, as parents can raise children who do not fall away but stand strong in the knowledge of God and His realness. I left the book at work, so I have to do this from memory (I may have to re-read chapter 4 -- although this is set up like a discussion book -- I may lead a Sunday night Discipleship class during AWANA for parents) but the book starts out with the idea of a parent's MDM - or Most Dramatic Moment. The MDM is the point where a parent loses control of their child and has to let him or her go off into the real world without their guidance. And they do an interesting thing in comparing Jacob with the father of the Prodigal Son -- or more appropriately, their sons.

Looking into the life of Joseph, he was 17 when he was forced to leave home -- much like our children who grow up and stay in the house until they are 25... oh wait. He was thrown into a hostile situation which tried to get him to betray his beliefs. He was alone. He was put into a situation where temptation was strong. He was betrayed. He was accused of a crime he didn't commit. He went to jail. He festered in jail for years. But through it all, he stayed true to his beliefs. How do we raise children like that?

They talk about 5 qualities that Joseph had (of course, I'm only 4 chapters in). These 5 (I hope I remember them) are:
1) He respected fellow humans - He respected Potiphar and the authority he was in his life.
2) He respected human relationships - He would not defile Potiphar's marraige by indulging in the temptation given by Potiphar's wife
3) He knew there was right and wrong - He would not indulge with Potiphar's wife because it was evil
4) He knew God was the source of wisdom
5) He respected God -- He knew that sinning in the flesh with Potiphar's wife was a sin against God

I think that's right, although I'm going to have to re-read chapter 4. That was a heavy chapter.

This is something I have been looking for for quite a while and I think I've found it (well, my wife found it and showed me.) I am going to get pretty gun-ho about this. One of the things they talk about is the having a growth plan from preschool through high school -- something I've talked to Randy and Shawn about recently anyways. I've been talking about doing a vision team with Youth, Children and Preschool ministries and I think this may end up being part of it. I am thinking and praying about it.

In some additional news, Roger, the pastor up at Northwinds, has asked our church if we would help them this year do their harvest festival up at a park in North Fontana. I am actually leaning towards doing that this year. Our area really isn't hungry for another harvest festival since Mt. View does a really good one right up the street while there is nothing in North Fontana. God has been putting some things in motion that we may be moving up to North Fontana as it is (I'm actually hoping we do) and maybe merging back with Northwinds, since we were their mother church so this would be a good opportunity for our people to get to know their people better (I love their people. I had a year working with them and training them how to run an AWANA program. They are great.)

Well, it's nearing midnight and I have work in the morning. Curse you Olympics! That was a nice job by the USA higbar dude :)

I know I should stop but it's too much to resist

2008-08-18T07:32:00.000-07:00

Once every four years, people care about sports they usually don't care about. Who can name a celebrity weight lifter? (I did see the featured blog about the female weight lifter and her weight lifter husband, but for that, who?) Are there any well known water polo players in the US? (I like mentioning it because my wife loves water polo.) Olympic trampolining? What? I think London is introducing Olympic Spelling Bee (I don't know how the different languages will work, but they are in the planning stages and they are going to allow ESPN to show it.)
But you know what? I can't get enough of the Olympics right now. Yes, I got sucked in. I am staying up until midnight watching like a junkie. Michael Phelps is amazing but he really isn't the story of the Olympics for me right now. Right now, it's about the Jamaican sprinter Bolt. Are you kidding me? He pulled up with 15 meters (that's the real bad thing about the Olympics -- the rest of the world uses that logical system instead of getting on the American bandwagon and using the real measurement system, the English system -- which England doesn't even use anymore) and still won by 5 meters while pounding his chest and basically doing the Deon Sanders high step towards the endzone. If he would have ran all the way through, I don't think anyone would be breaking the world record for decades. He would have had around a 9.50. That's unreal. As the announcer said, they were entering video game times -- although I don't think I ever got a 9.69 even with the comb trick. This kid is 21. If he doesn't truly run something all the way through, we may never know truly how good he is. What was funnier was after the race, the interviewer asked what he would get if he ran all the way through and the response was, "I don't care about that. I just wanted to win." or something close to that. He made it look easy -- so much so that it kind of blows out the idea that you have to try as hard as you can to do your best. Everyone else looked like they were about to bust an artery while he was showboating. Of course, this doesn't take into account the years of training he has done to make this moment look easy.
Just think about this: how many relay teammates can you name for Mark Spitz? In the same way, the swimmers who were a major part of Michael Phelps' ability to win 8 medals will be the nameless other swimmers who will be a question on Jeopardy in 20 years. Phelps has said the right things about teammates and giving them praise, but it won't help the other 4/5 of them be remembered. The best thing they will have is a gold medal they will show their grandkids and will say, I won this on a relay team with Michael Phelps. And the kids will say, "Who?"
Ok, time to go to work. I guess it's a good thing I don't have MSNBC, CNBC, QNBCWERS, and QWERTNBCY so that Olympics can be on 24/7. Although we have the new D-TV converter for the antenna and it gets amazing reception. If I would have known how good it was, we would have got it months ago (and the kids like that we have 14 PBS channels and Qubo.)
Out.

Well, the good news is...

2008-08-07T13:20:00.000-07:00

We are looking for the good news right now in our house. Yeah, there is good news, such as Becca's enjoyment of school, but more things are falling apart than staying together at this point.

The biggest thing is that the finance committee of the church met on Sunday and decided that they can no longer afford to pay me from the church. I talked to Dale last night and he said that I still had the position of children's pastor, but it was now volunteer if I desired to keep it. At this point, there is nothing pointing me to another church. In fact, there are many things pointing me to get busy at the church getting parents involved in the ministry of their child. AWANA has some exciting things they are doing that I have been dreaming of doing for years and it looks like this fall may be the time to stop dreaming and start working. But it is volunteer. I don't mind working for free, but my bills do mind it.
Speaking of bills, the mortgage is going up in September and we don't know by how much yet. I have started talking to mortgage companies about refinancing, but we got in at the exact wrong time -- the height right before the bubble started bursting, so the house is worth $60k less than our mortgage is for. So we are trying to refinance. I guess the good news is that the new law they passed to help saps like me takes affect in October, but we will definitely struggle in September if it takes that long.
I just accidentally published this post, so it's longer than the post was before. Just ignore the accidental post.
Micah is bored. He's been out of school for two months and I think he is eager to get back (although he'll probably fight it for a while.)
With church income gone and umpiring done for the season, there is absolutely no extra income. We were looking at our bills and there is absolutely nothing we can cut. So now it's time to start wondering where everything is coming from. I don't know.

I guess the good news is that God is still in control. It's a matter of living a life that is trusting that God keeps his promises and no matter what, we will be taken care of, even if it is not how we think God needs to do so (who am I to tell God that His way is wrong.) This is a concept that we are going to be trying to instill in our children, and parents, in the next few months and beyond so maybe God is instilling that belief in me too.

Verse:
Romans 8:18 (Tony Paraphrase)
I consider the bad things we are going through right now are nothing compared to the great things God has in store for us!

Does this kindergartener make me look old?

2008-07-30T16:42:00.000-07:00

Well, Becca woke up excited this morning. She is starting her first day of Kindergarten. So Trina had to get up way too early, we got the kids dressed and ready, Cassidy came over waaaaaay to early (the knock on the door was 5:40 am) and they were out of the door at 7:30 am. I got to hang out at home until around 8:20 before leaving to go to work.
I haven't heard from Becca how she liked her first day at school though. I talked to Trina twice today on the phone, once from her not being very happy that I left the dog inside and that she had to clean up after her and the other to make sure where Carrie needed to pick up Cassidy. Neither occasion gave room for me to talk to my eldest daughter to hear what she thought of her first day of a journey that takes too long for someone so young but something I would do over again if I could edit out some of the rough spots. I'm sure she was very friendly and very assertive, even with Trina there with an opening day parent meeting. (That's why the kids were all up at 7:30 to go be dropped off at a friend's house.) She told me she was shy and I kinda snickered. I've never seen her shy. Maybe scared of new situations but never shy around new people. She is the extrovert that Trina and I aren't.
I hope Becca doesn't have to learn some of the lessons I had to -- that being mean isn't cool (I have always wanted to apologize to some of the kids I made fun of when I was young -- Jean Audette and Mark Grabazsweski) that other kids are mean sometimes, that being cruel isn't a good way to fit in, that behaving strange or odd is a good way to get attention. I hope she doesn't have to learn these the hard way. I do hope she learns to be compassionate, to learn how to learn, to be friendly even when no one else is, to be willing to stand up as an individual even against popular belief for what she believes, and how to distinguish between the truth and the lies. She is a smart kid but has never been in an organized learning environment (like I was in Kindergarten... I hope I turned out ok.) She seems, to me, a biased parent, to be the poster child of a kid who is well learned already because her parents invested in her (mainly Trina) and that preschool is not the universal solution to a problem they could not possibly try to solve.
I hope she had a good day. They say in Baseball you can tell how the season's going to go by the first at-bat (watch Major League.) I wonder if the same is true in Kindergarten.

Verse:

Philippians 1:9-11

9 I pray that your love will grow more and more. And let it be based on knowledge and understanding. 10 Then you will be able to know what is best. You will be pure and without blame until the day Christ returns. 11 You will be filled with the fruit of right living produced by Jesus Christ. All of those things bring glory and praise to God.

Now that McDonalds has shown the bad

2008-07-28T19:33:00.000-07:00

My friend Eric sent this to me. All I can say is that this is the polar opposite of the McDonalds commercial. Makes me glad that I am involved with kids. I'd love to see some copy cats at my league one of these years :)

It is quite large, so I hope you have a fast connection. (Made me tear up.)

The new McDonalds commercial

2008-07-27T14:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, we're watching beach volleyball right now (because there is absolutely nothing on.) Every commercial break, they are showing the new McDonalds commercial. This commercial right here:

Ok, when I saw this, I didn't think it was cute that the grey team got revenge by getting gross food or something. My first thought was that if I was the coach of the green team, I would have slapped them all around for a while. Ok, not literally slapping, but getting the point across that we need to be gracious in victory, and congratulatory in defeat.
Ahhhhh... it's on again. That's 4 commercial breaks in a row.
Anyway, the question comes up if we are wimpifying our kids? Is this a product of political correctness? In my opinion, no. What I find ultimately sad is that we have to make rules about this in team games instead of being inate. As an umpire, I have had to tell kids in the dugouts not to call out the other team's names and not to yell and scream when the pitcher is about to throw. In fact, I am going to bring up next year that there should be no negative cheering (hey pitcher, AHHHH!, the like) and only positive cheering (Let's go whoever, We want a home run, etc.) This should really be part of who the kids are. Sportmanship is bigger than winning and losing. That is the lesson of little league, AYSO, Pee Wee football, and all youth sports that should be conveyed. Not that winning is the ultimate goal but that character is.

The verse is actually what I taught this morning in Children's Church. It fits:
"Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the Earth." Matthew 5:5

Meekness is not weakness, it's discipline to keep strength in check. It's being gracious in victory -- being a good sport.

Reflections of a Little League Umpire

2008-07-25T20:25:00.000-07:00

Well, it seems that I am done umpiring for the spring/summer season and I wanted to go back and write down some of the things I went through this season. Let me say, this was my first season as an umpire and it definitely won't be the last. I had a blast getting back into baseball and people have told me that I lost weight during the season, so it was exercise (or I sweated it all off behind the plate while in full gear.) Some of the highlights of the season:

1) It was like my second game. Angels (who went 20-2 this season) vs. Yankees. Kid hits a ball right down the first base line. I look, and look, then call it fair as it hits the yellow line. Angels coaches not too happy. Then I look again, reevaluated, then call the homerun as the ball went off the foul pole. Coaches now really unhappy, but I stick by my call. I think I got it right.

2) It must have been my 10th game. I made a call at the plate that apparently the catcher didn't like. He turned around and said, "You suck!" I was in shock at this point and didn't do anything. After the inning I went to his coach and said, "If I hear that again for the rest of the season, I'm tossing him from the game." The League President said that if she hears something like that happening, the kid is out 2 games minimum.

3) Last game of the season for the Yankees and Angels. I've done about 60 games by this point so the coaches know me, my style, and I know them. The Angels are up by 14 or so in the bottom of the 6th (they scored them all in the top of the 6th. I thought, I'm going to give the Yankees their last ups since this is the last game of the season even though I could have called it for mercy rule. It's the last game and they needed some kind of confidence. It was bad though since the Angels kept scoring in the top of the 6th. Not very confidence building.) So, the Yankees end up scoring 2 runs in the bottom of the 6th (preventing the shutout) which was good. Two outs and the kid who told me that I sucked in memory two is up to bat. I've let it go by this point. He's caught a few games since then and it was cool. He hits a pop fly towards the 3rd base line which falls about 2 inches foul from my point of view. The manager, who is in the third base box, doesn't like the call (this would have scored another 1 or 2 at least) and turns around frustrated. He says, "If it would have been the Angels, I may have gotten the call." Now, on it's face, he said he was making a comment about the Angels, but to me, he was questioning my integrity -- saying that I was rooting for the Angels. Now mind you, the two Angels coaches, Bret and Roy, are good guys that I could even see myself hanging out with on the outside and I enjoyed talking with them throughout the season, but I call games fair. It's not right for me to cheat the kids by playing favorites. At this point, when Steve (manager of the Yankees) says this, I call time, stand up, and cool off for a second. After the game, Steve thought I was going to toss him right there. I calmed down, and called for the next pitch. I forgot what happened, but the third out happened pretty shortly afterward without another run scoring. I went to Steve as soon as the game was done and said, "I know you are frustrated, but that comment was totally out of line." He acknowledged, but was still frustrated and didn't say anything. About 15 minutes later, as I'm heading out to my car, he comes up to me and says, "If I ever say anything like that again, kick me out of the game." He realized what he had said and felt bad. We ended up talking for a while. I like Steve too.

4) In fact, I like the group up at the league. Mrs. Strong is great. Mr. Ford is great. The managers I had the opportunity to work with were cool. In the heat of the moment, sometimes tempers got riled, sometimes words were said that probably shouldn't have been said, but the kids are what are important and we all got that across.

5) Through the season, I saw teams that were good that played that way, teams that were overmatched that played that way and teams that were good that their attitude stopped them from doing well and they underachieved and another team that was overmatched but played with so much heart and discipline that they overachieved. It's hard to do bad if you have too much talent and hard to win if you are rebuilding, but those middle teams showed me that attitude and heart are the difference between 3rd and 4th place, between the coach having an all-star team and the coach watching all-stars from the bleachers. I was so impressed with how Coach Strong (the president's husband) ran his team. They called everyone sir or ma'am. They were respectful. They never gave up. And they overachieved. I'm looking forward to seeing them next year.

6) I umpired on the bases for a 9-10 year old all-star game. It was the league I umped at all season vs. another league. I did the bases since they wouldn't let me do the plate (makes sense. Home Plate Umpire has a lot of influence and they don't want the illusion of favortism.) The game went so against the my league's team in the calls that the kids thought I was cheering against them. One of the kids, on a close call at first, turned to me and said, "Why are you on their side!?" I wasn't. Everything inside of me wanted them to win, but I was not going to make calls that are against what I see that are going to benefit them. If they are going to win the game, they were going to win it on their own, not with my assistance. It was the hardest game I'm umped and looks like it may be for years. They lost. They didn't talk to me after the game (the kids, parents were ok.)

There are other umpire stories and people I will look back on this first season, but I wanted to get down some of the major ones.

Here's the verse that really exempifies Coach Strong and his team. Something for me to strive for:
"We are full of joy even when we suffer. We know that our suffering gives us the strength to go on. 4 The strength to go on produces character. Character produces hope. " Romans 5:3-4

Does this 5 year old make me look old?

2008-07-25T07:41:00.000-07:00

Well, with 4 kids, it is inevitable for them to grow up (unless you throw them into some cryogenic freeze machine, but then they will come back and zap you with their newly acquired freeze powers which emanate from their fingertips in an evolutionary desire for survival.) And with that, there are milestones which make me, as a parent, look and say, "Has it really been that long?"
Becca turned 5 on Wednesday. She was so excited. I now ask her, 'Who's my 5 year old?' Of course, half the time she complains that Micah is still older (as he always will be, I explain.) She wants to grow up so fast and I still consider her my baby (again, something she has refused for the past 2 years.) (Just like real life, I use a lot of parenthesis in my listening to boring lectures, sometimes sermons, watching bad tv shows, etc. Too many smart comments like a dummy.)
Well, if you are a reader of Trina's blogs, you will know that we are pretty broke right now. This always bums me around birthday time (July-October in this family -- except Trina, the odd-ball (I love you.)) One of the things I was thinking about for Becca's birthday was taking the family out to see Wall-E at the El Capitan, but that won't be happening. In fact, not much will be happening. We had some family over on Sunday to celebrate. Dad made a cake, Trina and Dianne made cupcakes for Extended Session at church earlier. Becca was ecstatic that she got 5 Barbies (3 big, 2 small, 1 elephant.) I wish I could have done more though.
Of course, looking back on my childhood, the highlight of my life was my sixth birthday. My dad and I went for a walk to the mall and I got a radio and cassette deck for my birthday. I was so happy. Then we got back home and a bunch of people from the baseball park (It must have been my 7th birthday... I started playing baseball at 6) and church (I always thought it was 6th... could my mind be playing tricks on me?) were at our house and we had a baseball ice cream cake. But it was simple. I didn't get a lot, but it was a celebration. I learned that it wasn't about stuff, it was about recognition and celebration and getting together. Maybe us being broke and me not being able to spoil my children rotten is a good thing as they will grow up not being materialistic but will take joy in the little things.

I like Trina's gimmick. On substantial post, I'll probably find the verse that sums up the post.

11I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:11-13

And come to think of it...

2008-07-21T23:53:00.001-07:00

10 gazillion dollars to whoever can tell me where my title comes from.

Ok, maybe not 10 gazillion. Maybe some imaginary ones from the mind of minolta or something.

God's Wonderful News For Your Life

2008-07-21T23:13:00.001-07:00

I had the opportunity to preach at another church on Sunday Morning. It was day 3 of their VBS (They ran a Friday, Saturday, Sunday VBS) and the day of the salvation message. Well, I began working on a sermon based off of John 14:6, the key verse for the day. Then God showed me Isaiah 43:1-4. Well, my sermon changed completely. Thought I'd post the sermon here for some bedtime reading:

Good morning. I love Vacation Bible School. Are you enjoying VBS this weekend? I became a Christian at Vacation Bible School when I was in first grade, so it has been one of my passions for years. It always excites me as the summer approaches and it is a little sad as it passes because I love VBS so much.

What is the motto of VBS this week? (Know the Truth, Speak the Truth, Live the Truth.) We are studying this week about living God's unshakeable truth and as I was studying for this sermon, God showed me a truth that I can stand on. It completely changed my idea of what this sermon was going to be, but after all, my words are meaningless without the power of God behind them.

I want to share with you something powerful, something life-changing, something that is such great news that you won't want to walk out of here the same way. That news, that truth, is that God loves you.

Like I mentioned before, I became a Christian at VBS some 26 years ago, and although my decision was real and life-changing, I have often struggled to get out of the way with my ego and intelligence and let God have His way with me. I have lived a defeated life for many years. I struggle with guilt about sin even after asking forgiveness. I beat myself up a lot. I look sometimes and wonder how God can use someone like me who just doesn't get it.

I'm sure that Israel felt the same way. Let's turn in our Bibles to Isaiah, chapter 42, verses 18-25. You'll see here that God calls Israel blind, deaf, disobedient, unreceptive to His messenger, and God was pouring out his furious anger on them. Look at verse 24,

"Who gave Jacob to the robber and Israel to the plunderers?

Was it not the LORD? Have we not sinned against Him?'

They were not willing to walk in His ways,

And they would not listen to instruction."

Look at what God's response is,

"So [God] poured out on Jacob His furious anger and the power of war.

It surrounded [Jacob] with fire, but he did not know it.

It burned him, but he paid no attention."

God is judging them for their disobedience. And then, the logic of grace steps in. Let's read Isaiah 43:1-4

1 Now this is what the LORD says—
the One who created you, Jacob,
and the One who formed you, Israel —
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by your name; you are Mine.

2 I will be with you
when you pass through the waters,
and [when you pass] through the rivers,
they will not overwhelm you.
You will not be scorched
when you walk through the fire,
and the flame will not burn you.

3 For I the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel, and your Savior,
give Egypt as a ransom for you,
Cush and Seba in your place.

4 Because you are precious in My sight
and honored, and I love you,
I will give human beings in your place,
and peoples in place of your life.

There are three things I want us to see in this passage about how much God loves us.

First, no matter what we have done in the past, God still wants to have a relationship with us. What we deserve is the full fury of God's anger. What He offers instead is forgiveness. He says that He already called us by His name. There is a scene in Toy Story where the Buzz Lightyear makes a comment about being accepted into the culture because their ruler, Andy, had written his name on Buzz's foot. In the same way, God has written His name on our lives. He made us. He loves us. He wants to be our best friend, our personal God. It doesn't matter if we fall or deserve punishment. Those may come, but God is offering a relationship with us that He will mend up.

And this relationship is stronger than any of our problems.

This leads to our second point. Not only does God want to have a relationship with us no matter of our past, but no matter what we go through in our present, God will be with us. Look at verse 2 again. In the waters, the river or the fire, God will be with us. I like how the Message paraphrase puts this,

"When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you.

When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.

When you're in between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end."

Last week, I talked to the children of my church about some of the most depressing times of my life. I told them about how I saw my pet dog get ran over by a car when I was six, how I had to deal with a grandmother dying, how I grieved the closure of an after-school program I was in charge of at our church, how I mourned when my son was diagnosed with autism – times of real mourning and grief. We were talking about the second beatitude, 'blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.' In times of real mourning in my life, God has comforted me in ways that I didn't see coming. He has been there when I lived in between a rock and a hard place. He helped me to not go under the depression. I know, because He has proven Himself faithful in the past, that He keeps His promise. My favorite verse in the Bible, Romans 8:38-39 says,

"For I am persuaded that neither death nor life,

nor angels nor rulers,

nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers,

nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing

will have the power to separate us

from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord!"

This brings us to our third point. Not only does God want a relationship with us despite our past and not only will God be with us through our present, but that no matter what it will cost, God paid to have us back and secure our future. Again, I like how the Message paraphrase says verses 3 and 4:

"Because I am God, your personal God, the Holy of Israel, your Savior.

I paid a huge price for you: all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!

That's how much you mean to Me! That's how much I love you!

I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you."

God says that we have redemption. What is redemption?

There is a story about a young boy who made a model sailboat. He worked carefully on it for days and finally finished it. It was beautiful and he couldn't wait to take it out and try it on the creek.

He took the boat out and let it sail. It floated beautifully, but soon got caught in the current and began to rush downstream. He tried to pull it back in but the string broke and the boat raced. He ran and ran and tried to catch up to it but it was no use. He looked all day until the sun went down and couldn't find it.

Two days later, the young boy was walking home from school when he saw a model boat hanging in the window of a pawn shop. The boy got closer and realized that this was his boat. He ran into the shop and said, "That's my boat! I lost it two days ago; can I have it back?"

The shop owner said, "I'm sorry, son, but someone brought it in this morning and I paid for it. If you want it back, you're going to have to buy it."

"How much is it?"

"One dollar."

The little boy ran out of the store and raided his piggy bank. He had exactly one dollar. He returned to the store and bought his boat. On the way out, the boy said, "Now you're my boat twice. I made you and then I bought you."

God made us. We were the apple of His eye, His personal treasure, but we left him and became slaves to sin. At the moment we told God that our way was better than His way, where we disobeyed Him, we became slaves to sin. But God, in his infinite mercy and grace, made a way to buy us back. Romans 5:8 says,

"But God demonstrated His love for us,

in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

I have sinned. Romans 3:23 says that all of us have and according to Romans 6:23, the payment of sin is death. Jesus is saying, "I paid a huge price for you! It wasn't all of creation. It was my own life." My sin says someone must die and that someone is either me or someone who has no sin. Jesus has no sin and He says that He will die for me!

But this doe requires an action on our part. I don't know if you sang the Wiki Wiki song, but it is based off of Romans 10:9, the basis of the ABC's of becoming a Christian. First, you have to admit to God that you have sinned. You have to repent, or make a u-turn and turn from living a life of sin and start walking towards God. Then you have to believe that Jesus is God's son and that He died but came back to life so that we do not have to die. And finally, you have to confess that Jesus is now you boss – what He says goes in your life and that you are allowing Him to make changes in your life.

------
And then, there was the closing and they went to the offering contest. The girls won (big surprise in my book.... not! and some guy named Alex got the pie. I told him I sympathized since I have gotten the pie 6 out of the last 8 years.
Well, we went back today to pick up VBS decorations to give to Trina's Aunt and her church and talked to the pastor of the church I preached at. He said that 2 kids talked to the teachers afterwards and told them that they prayed to become Christians. He's getting me the names and addresses so I can send them letters or do whatever. Well, those are the first 2 decisions I've had from the pulpit, so it's cool.

For the past year or so I really have been in a glaze. A funk. Depressed. There have been so many different things which have totally torn me down. I think God showed me Isaiah 42-43 to show me that He still loves me and to get over it because to God, I'm worth more than being in a funk. I'm praying that this is a watershed moment - a turning from living a defeated Christian life to a real one, with my excitement and enthusiasm back to reach kids for Christ. It's been hard to get excited, but I was excited on Sunday. The message was from God because I never would have gone there without His guidance.

BTW, here's a video where they mention the verse shortly before but do an excellent job illustrating the fact that God paid a great price for me.

Pray for my friend and his wife, kid and one on the way. It's not good right now.