Eating the Poor Like Bread: 2 year update

"The Lord looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.  All have turned away, all have become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one."

I was listening to the Psalms and a verse really struck me. It was Psalm 14:4. The two preceding verses are quoted above. Psalm 14:1 is widely known as an April Fool's joke but I didn't want to focus on that one for we've all been fools. None of us look for God. He draws us to himself. We are all fools.

But if we look at verses 2 and 3, we see God looking for anyone righteous, anyone who follows in the ways of God and he finds not a single person. Where does this lead us? I want to look at verse 4.

"Do all these evildoers know nothing? They devour my people as though eating bread; they never call on the Lord."

Psalm 14:4

Looking at what God calls evil in this verse, there are two things. The second one is not talking with God. Prayer is important and something we should do as if our souls depend on it. I really want to look at the first thing that makes one evil.

"They devour my people as though eating bread." Evildoers use people without regard, as though eating bread. Bread is easy to get. My family usually buys enough bread that we have to throw some out every couple of weeks because it has molded over. We really don't think too much of it as bread is cheap. One of my favorite meals is to grab a loaf of cheap bread from the grocery store, a can of deviled ham, and a bowl and spread the ham thinly across the cheap bread until all the ham, and usually the entire loaf, are gone. My kids have began helping me with the loaf so I'm not scarfing it all myself anymore.

I don't think a lot about bread besides what to put on it. Likewise, I don't put a lot of thought into where my clothes are made, where my electronic purchases are made, or even where my food comes from. It's on the shelf. It's cheap. It feeds, clothes, and entertains my family. Why should I care where and how it is made?

I benefit from a society of evildoers, partaking as one myself. I devour the livelihood of other human beings as though I devour bread. Who cares if my clothes are made by 6 year old kids in Bangladesh or China because it doesn't affect my kids? What about if my bananas are picked by slave labor in Central America? I'm okay with that because I get my bananas at $0.58 a pound. 

I want to figure out how to better consume products not made by near-slave or slave labor. Our society devours the lives of children and adults all over the world so we can buy $5 shirts at Wal-Mart and not break our budget while the people who made these shirts may make that $5 in a week. What can we do about it? 

I'm not sure. Our entire economy is built off of cheap labor because keeping prices down on the production side makes the sales go up on the output side and making a shirt for $1 instead of $1.50 really adds up fast on the profit margin. I think one of the most important things we can do as Christians is to learn self-discipline. Do we need a whole closet of shirts that we are going to wear twice a year? How many pairs of pants do we really need? Can we research how the companies that make our clothing do business and find clothing that may cost a little bit more but pay a living wage to their workers and treat them fairly? That may be a hard job to do but in order not to consume people, it is worth it.

One of the things I did about 6 months ago was clean out my closet and only keep about 7 outfits that I rotate through, plus all my work shirts (which I have way too many of) and my umpire uniforms. As some of these old outfits start to fall apart, I can find fair-trade clothing in the future. Not only does this limit my spending and unnecessary usage, it shrinks my footprint on throwing out excess clothing that I outgrow or deteriorates. I told Trina yesterday while walking around shopping that it was actually relaxing to know that I don't have to pick up any clothes just because they are there.

I am actually looking for more ways not to consume people for my own relaxation. We have been blessed so there are a couple people we pay to help us in our lives. We look for ways to bless people when tipping or making a purchase from a small shop that we really would like to see make it. 

It's a struggle in our society to look for real opportunities to help bring resources to those who need it most. I still buy stuff from Amazon, adding to Jeff Bezos' $200 billion stockpile. I shop Wal-Mart and Target. I can't help noticing stuff that we get that says, "Made in China." I am nowhere near where I want to be and it is mostly because I am lazy and don't put in the work to research. But God reminds me that I am not righteous on my own. No one is righteous, no not one. Everything we try to do good, outside of the will and motivation of God, is self-serving in the end and draws us to devour people for our needs. 

We can take heart that God is in the business of restoring those who society consumes. Verse 6 says, "You evildoers frustrate the plans of the poor, but the Lord is their refuge." The poor can take refuge in God who has a preferential care for them. I pray that God will begin changing my life so I can be part of the plan of the poor in bringing refuge to them. I have a long way to go and a long history to overcome but I pray that I don't consume others and that I call on the name of the Lord through it all. Then, maybe, I can live a life not set on evildoing.

Update: 8/30/22

I read this blog and am forced to look into my life to see if my desires expressed here have made any chance in the way I live. While I am hesitant to buy new clothes still, I don't know if I've made major life changes to be more conscious of the poor worldwide. 

I try to be generous with those who serve around me. I shared graciousness and gratitude to these same people. It's so hard to be countercultural in a society that makes it comfortable to go along with the feast on the poor. It's so easy to be evildoers instead of empowerers. I guess the hardest part for me is the limited reach I have. I need to realize that my reach is what God has given me and I can only use the talents he's given me. With that, I can be successful in being humble and generous.

Any Dream? Nah...

I finished reading "Me, Myself and Bob" by Phil Vischer.  One of the biggest things that hit me was how much Phil's journey was like Joseph's in the Bible.  You see, God gave Joseph a big dream.  It was a dream that he would one day lead his family.  It was going on schedule.  His father had already agreed that this would happen when he gave him the coat.  His brothers knew it and hated him for it.  Suddenly it was all ripped away from him. 
Phil was much the same way.  God gave him a dream of a media company.  It was going along splendidly and then it was ripped away.
I think of Moses and there is a very interesting verse in the book of Acts.  Stephen is talking to the Sanhedrin about to be executed.  He goes through a systematic theology from Abraham to Jesus and this verse is part of his narrative on Moses: "He supposed that his brothers would understand that God was giving them salvation by his hand, but they did not understand."  According to this, God gave Moses the vision to see that he would one day lead the people of Israel out of Egypt.  And then he had to spend the next 40 years having his dream broken.  Joseph spent 17 years having his dream torn asunder.  Phil took about 10 years from the death of his Big Idea and Jellyfish really taking off. 
I see it over and over in scripture and in life that God gives people dreams of what is to come but then they take those dreams and manipulate them to their own, take ownership and begin believing in the dream instead of the God who gave the dream.  Then it takes God ripping the dream back away and refocusing the person back on God, forgetting the dream and becoming completely empty, humble beyond measure.  It is at this point that God can use the dreamer again because it is not about the dream anymore. 
A while back I talked about the song from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat about how any dream will do.  It's not the dream.  Any dream doesn't do -- it's the dreamgiver.

15 Days

Alright.  I was at work today and began to talk about some of the stuff that has happened over the last 2 weeks and realized that it has been packed.  I need to write some of this down so my memory doesn't fade in time and I can refer back and say, despite all the highs and lows, it has been a very good two weeks.

So why?

I started my vacation on Friday, November 9th.  I was going to be off of work for 5 days officially, from Friday to Monday with 2 weekends and Veteran's Day in between.  Not bad, 10 days for 5 vacation.  And like any good vacation, this one was starting with the return of one of my favorite bands doing an album party at a local venue.  The OC Supertones just released a new album and it is fantastic.  So my wife and I waited until the kids got off school, then took them out to Hemet to spend the night with my parents.  We then headed to Pomona to the Glass House to have a skatastic good time.  Well, Becca went to Winter Jam with a couple of the college girls from church and then spent the night out at CBU.  She had fun but I think our concert was better.  The Insyderz were pretty good (Trina liked them a lot more than I did) and the Supertones rocked the house.  Here's one of their new songs they did as an encore -- not quite rocking but very, very cool.  The Supertones have all grown up, like me I guess.




So Saturday morning we went back out and picked up Becca then picked up Micah, Ali and Zoe from Hemet and really didn't do much that I remember.  Kinda relaxing like that.

Sunday was Veteran's day at church.  It's nice that the twins are learning to appreciate our nation's veterans and that they hug me and thank me for my service.  They're sweet.  After church, I visited my grandpa who was in the hospital.  He had a major infection in his leg that led to a heart attack.  He was suffering with dementia and Alzheimer's and didn't really remember me at all the last time I saw him, so it was nice to sit and listen to him snore during my visit.  It gave me a chance to remember who he was, how he affected my life and how much I really admired him.  I guess shortly after I left, they moved him out to a rest home in Redlands (about 30 miles away instead of 1 mile when I visited him) so I guess I had good timing.

Monday was a stay-at-home day.  I need those more than occasionally.

Tuesday, we went out to our friend's house, Steve and Shelley, who live literally in the middle of nowhere, half way between Lake Perris and Lake Elsinore in the boonies, about 5 miles from the nearest 2 lane paved road.  We go out there, we hike on their hill and rocks in their back yard, we get away from electronics and stuff (although she had me look at their computer, after starting the generator), and just chill with friends.  Hermit living.  Parts of that are really appealing but others are not, such as totally remodeling the house.  After the visit, we took the kids to the drive in theater and watched Wreck It Ralph.  Very good movie.

Wednesday Trina had class.  We were running late and traffic from our house to CBU is horrible, so we took side streets.  I got pulled over and got my first moving violation ticket, speeding.  I have to pay it by January 25th, which I'm sure will be some extraordinary amount after court fees, taxes, processing fees, the cost of the officer's fuel, a new helmet, 14 boxes of pens and the original fine for speeding.  Yeah, I got caught.  Yeah I signed that I would pay fines when I agreed to get my license.  But I've never been in favor of an officer of the law being a tax collector.  The fine is one thing.  The fees and extras that triple the cost of the fine is another in the long arm of big government.

Thursday, I received a call from my mom that my grandpa had passed away about an hour earlier.  She mentioned that Dad would like me to help his pastor, my former boss and a pastor I respect greatly, conduct the funeral.  I had done both of my grandparent's funerals on my mom's side but this one was going to be a little different.  Ok, a lot.  I barely knew my maternal grandparents due to the distance we lived from them. I cried because I knew my mom and my aunt were going to miss them greatly.  This one hit closer to home as growing up, we lived a block away from my paternal grandparents.  We spent holidays and some weekends over there. I didn't have the detachment that made the services for the other side less taxing.  I knew it was something that I would need to do though, for my dad, my extended family and myself, knowing that as an ordained pastor I could bring perspective to his death and share that it was not the end but that heaven is real.    So I began thinking.

Friday, we didn't do much.  Hostess closed and I made a lot of twinkie remarks.  I went over to my friend Tom's house and brought some Hostess cupcakes and a box of Twinkies -- which I got both for $2 as Stater Bros has the wrong price on the shelf and you get one free if they do that.  So I got discounted fake bakery cakes on discount that now sell on e-bay for 3.5 million dollars.  Take that economy of price gouging!

Saturday, my wife and I were supposed to go out to another friend's house but he had a sick kid and so that was scrapped.  We had a babysitter though so date night!  We went to dinner, walked around Costco, and saw Argo.  Another good movie.

Sunday, church.  I am really starting to like cooking.  I usually do it all in one pan though, so is it really cooking or just combining ingredients and heating?  My kids seem to like it so I am good.

Monday I went back to work.  Missing one week was hard because there is always a pile of work on your desk when you get back.  Knowing that I only had a day and a half to organize it and try to start putting a dent in it would be hard enough if our office wasn't also in the middle of writing a grant for funding, meaning I had quite a few special projects that required some expertise on finding numbers through our local database and the state-wide database which I do pretty quickly.  So I got some work done and worked on these major projects on Monday and half of Tuesday because Tuesday I was leaving early to go to the viewing.  We've got great bereavement benefits.

Tuesday, half day at work.  Got what I could done.  Left at 2 pm.  Went to the funeral home.  No family there yet.  Went to the graveyard.  The hole was dug right next to Grandma's headstone.  I took out some spray cleaner and wiped off her headstone, and stood there, starring at the wood covering the hole that would be the final resting place for the body of my grandfather.  What was I going to say tomorrow?  I had some ideas but I wanted to wait until people got to speak on Tuesday night to see if I could steal anything.  The viewing went well.

Wednesday started out in Hemet as we spent the night out there.  I was up until 1 am thinking and writing the eulogy.  Then their couches aren't very sleeper friendly, meaning I was tired on what was going to be a busy, stressful and social day.

10 am, we start and I deliver the eulogy.  Here's a link to it: http://pastor4kids.blogspot.com/2012/11/reynaldo-leon-escarzaga-eulogy-11212012.html

Dale does the sermonette, a clear call of salvation.  I hope it reached some.  At the gravesite I was able to lead in prayer and then stood and watched as my final grandparent was lowered into the ground, knowing that he was no longer here, no longer in pain and mental deterioration but it was tough still.  That generation is gone in my family.  When the service members folded the flag and presented it to my uncle, I had to fight back tears as I too was grateful for his service and he always did our family and our country proud.

After that we headed back to Tio Rey's house for food and family time.  It was nice but I really was socialed out by the end.

Thursday was Thanksgiving so I couldn't be a recluse.  We got to Trina's grandma's apartment for breakfast and spent the morning there.  I was probably too reclusive there but I think people understood.  Thursday afternoon/evening was going to be harder.  We went to my parents house and joined a group of about 40 people celebrating Thanksgiving as a huge family.  I watched football and conversated when I needed to.

Black Friday is Trina's favorite day of the year.  She goes out at midnight and fights the crowds.  Me, I stay home with the kids and hope I get to go out about 10 am the next day to see the carnage, clothes and toys strewn across the store, ripped to shreds by eager shoppers who just hours earlier were thankful for what they had.  I didn't get to go see it this year as Trina was doing some different things.  I did get out around 4 pm to take Trina's mom home and then drive to different stores to see the leftovers.  I was planning for Saturday too.

Saturday was a big day.  It is Five Iron Frenzy Day.  November 22, 2003, Five Iron Frenzy retired.  November 22, 2011, Five Iron Frenzy became zombies and rocked again.  November 22, 2012 was Thanksgiving so it was decided that we should have some regional get togethers to celebrate the zombification of FIF and I was hosting the Southern California one.  I chose a beach out in Ventura (Marina Park - quite the beautiful park with great amenities -- highly recommended.)  So my kids and I took off on Saturday morning to hang out at a park and beach 2 hours from home in order to meet fellow Five Iron Frenzy fans.  Well, no one showed up until around 1pm -- we got there at 10:30 am.  It was nice though.  We played as a family, ate lunch, slowed down and looked around.  It was nice family time.  Then Nick, his wife Tiffany, and their daughter showed up and our kids played like they had known each other for years.  It was really nice to meet Nick and I hope that isn't the last time.

So the kids went nutso when we drove through Hollywood and you can see the Hollywood sign from the 101.  We reached our destination and H.G. Wells was expecting us behind some desk somewhere with the standard Rich and Famous contract in their minds.  It made me laugh and enjoy the trip.

Sunday I washed dishes.

So that was my unexpected 2 week vacation.  Ups and down, but like Grandpa, not too high and not too low.  I'm pretty sure I inherited that from him.

Reynaldo Leon Escarzaga - Eulogy - 11/21/2012

Reynaldo L. Escarzaga Sr. was born on May 11, 1927 to Ramon and Candy Escarzaga in Riverside, California. Grandpa was so gungho about serving his country that he lied about his age and joined the Army at the age of 17 during World War II, serving as a supply truck driver in Italy where he earned the Army of Occupation and World War II Victory medals. After leaving active duty service, he worked for 35 years at Norton Air Force Base as a Pipe Fitter maintaining the heating and air conditioning systems throughout the base.
Rey was preceded in death by his wife of 49 years, Carmen Escarzaga. He is survived by his five children, Marian, David, Thomas, Cindy, and Rey Jr., Sister Emma Gutierrez, and Brother Henry Escarzaga. He also leaves a heritage of 15 grandchildren and 19 great-grandchildren.
May 11, 1927 to November 15, 2012.  For those who pass his grave, there will be little else to remember him by but the day of his birth and the day that he left this world.  To us in this room, the days between those two have changed our world and have made us better people because we knew Grandpa. 

What kind of man is he?  For me, his overwhelming quality was what could be called stoicism, or his even-manner.  Grandpa was not one who wore his emotions on his sleeve.  The highs never got too big and the lows too low.  He was very even keeled.  That is not to say that he was emotionless though.  When he was proud of you, he would get a half smile, nod his head and get a tear in his eye.  His love for his wife, children and grandchildren guided his life every step of the way. You could say that his emotions ran deep and pure, greater than what could be outwardly expressed in his mild-mannered way.

He was a committed volunteer.  Grandpa not only loved his kids but loved his kid’s friends.  He coached Little League at Del Rosa Little League for 20 years.  I heard testimony yesterday from one of the moms whose boys played for Grandpa and she still remembers the time he invested in them, not only teaching them baseball but building character, loyalty and courage in their lives.  I learned from him that when I have a passion for something, I need to do it with to the best of my abilities and spread the passion to those around, touching their lives, helping them grow.  I am still involved in Little League because my grandpa believed in Little League.  I am involved with the community because he helped his be a better place.

Grandpa was a provider. Some people show their love to others by giving gifts, others by saying “I love you.”  Grandpa showed his love by providing for the needs of his family.  He worked for 35 years at Norton Air Force Base in a job many would not consider glamorous but he did his job and did it well.  When raising five kids in a small house required more than his day job paid, he found a way to make it work through teaching himself small appliance repair.  Even this was more than just earning a buck though, it was to help out those in need even if they couldn’t pay.

Grandpa was hospitable.  Growing up, I always thought it was strange when we visited Grandpa’s house that my dad would walk up to the front door, check the mail box, and then walk right in.  That wasn’t what I was taught about other people’s houses but it was appropriate here because Grandpa’s house was the family’s house.  Even though my dad had moved away, got married, and had 3 kids, the door was always open on Holly Vista for a visit, a quick peak in the refrigerator, and a chance to sit, talk, watch some TV where apparently I took my dad’s place as the remote control, and be with grandma and grandpa.  Holidays were always a major event where the families got together, the adults talked inside and us cousins would go entertain ourselves outside, trying not to get caught and get in trouble.  Grandpa’s house was comfortable and safe – a place where we could go and slow down, enjoy life, and be family.

Grandpa was a team player.  One of his favorite pastimes was bowling.  Grandpa was a fantastic bowler yet the team was always most important to him.  If the team needed him to throw a strike, he threw a strike.  If they needed him to throw a spare or miss a few pins to keep the team handicap down, he would do whatever was needed.  He was so good that other teams thought they brought in a ringer, a retired professional to guarantee they would win – which his team did. A lot.  He never tried to be the superstar but because he was such a great team player, he was. 

Grandpa was loyal and committed.  He was a man of integrity who kept his word and taught that quality to his children.  This was best demonstrated by his marriage.  He was married to Grandma for 49 years, through years of illness and hospitalizations, yet he stayed by Grandma’s side through everything.  I remember writing to my grandma when I was in the Navy and she would brag about how great Grandpa was and how much she loved him.  His love brought her comfort through the painful times.  His example guides me still as there are always family issues but running away is never an option – Grandpa would stick it through.

One of the last things my grandfather said to me was that he was going to beat me up for smiling.  Not quite as good as Amanda’s story yesterday.  The last few years have been hard for us as many of the qualities we loved about grandpa started to fade but his strength, his loyalty and his love continued to shine through.  Now that he has shuffled off this mortal coil, the pain is gone.  The disabilities have ceased.  I’d like to think that as Grandpa enters Heaven, Jesus is there to greet him with a half-smile, a nod of the head and a tear in his eye and welcomes him into his rest.  I look forward to the day when I will meet him again in joy.

The Annual Birthday Post, Edition 38

Another year down.  I am now 38.  Let's go over what has happened since last year.  Here's the list from last year's blog.

1. Be a better dad. Less computer time, more reading time.
2. Finish my BA. Find the money to do so.
3. Get that Challenger program up and running with Steve Bailey up at North Rialto.
4. Get involved with Children's Ministry.
5. Be a better umpire. Go to umpire school.
6. Go see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat live.
7. Stop procrastinating, some.

Updates:

1.  I don't think I have done much better with this one although it may be minor steps.  Trina and I just watched a pretty compelling documentary about how the church has usurped the responsibility for the spiritual development of the family away from the dad and how the church, through youth ministry/children's ministry, should be equipping the dad in his God-given responsibility.  Pretty convicting on two parts -- 1. Am I that dad taking responsibility at home and 2. Am I hurting the family by doing what I do at the church?  I had a lot of kids that I have loved over the years and have tried to help them build that relationship with Christ but towards the end, I always believed that the family should have been the first line of discipleship.  More on that in 4.
2.  Well, Trina is actually working on her B.A. right now through online courses through CBU and I have to say, I think I could do that.  It would have to be after she finished but seeing her do it is encouraging to me because I have always been better at the school thing (test taking, writing papers, stuff like that.)  She is better on the motivation thing though so she'll have to keep me on task.
3.  North Rialto fell through.  Completely.  My dream is still to start a program in central Rialto for the district but it is back burner.
4.  Get involved with Children's Ministry:  I was asked if I would step up and be the Children's director this year.  After much prayer and discussion with my wife, I had to turn it down.  There were two reasons that I gave -- 1. We live too far away to really do it justice and 2. I can't give it the time it deserves with the rest of my schedule.  I don't think it really came to the surface until Trina and I watched that documentary -- I don't know if I agree with Children's ministry in the status quo.  That may be why I have been burned out for a while -- trying to push through something that I have not really believed in for a while.  If our church really started moving the way towards family ministry, I could really see myself getting back involved in a major way.
5.  I went to umpire school.  I had a blast.  I was sore beyond all ends.  I did a lot of baseball games this year.  Trina and the kids took a cross country trip in June and I umped almost the entire time they were gone.  I really enjoyed it. Looking back on 38 years, I only say that I should have started umpiring sooner.  A couple of days ago I put in an application to do the Intermediate Division Western Regional tournament.  This is the new division in Little League where the mound is 50 feet away from home and the bases are 70 feet away (as opposed to 46/60 in majors or 60.6/90 for the big diamond.)  This is the inaugural season of the 50/70 division so I am expecting a lot of people to apply for it but you never know.  I don't even know where the tournament will be held.  It would be quite the privilege to do it though.
6.  Haven't seen it playing anywhere yet.
7.  I got this done on time.  That's a start.  I am doing better in several places though, when it really matters to me.

Some new stuff from the past year:
1.  Five Iron Frenzy got back together.  That is amazing.  They are like my favorite band and I had the chance to see them twice this year, two days apart from each other.  This was during the family roadtrip that I was not able to go on.  The concert on Friday was at the Glass House in Pomona.  Their second concert back.  It was good.  The concert on Sunday was at the House of Blues down in San Diego.  Fourth concert back.  It was the absolute best concert that I have ever been to.  It was like karaoke night with Reese Roper all night long and I had a blast.  Don't tell my wife.
2.  Netflix is amazing.  Trina and I have sat together and watched quite a few shows together.  Star Trek: TNG, Doctor Who, Merlin, etc.  I have really taken a liking to British shows.
3.  We had some new employees in our office that I consider more than co-workers. It's nice to work with some people who I can invest my life in and who invest their lives in me.

So some goals:
1.  To be a better umpire.  I need to work on game management this year.
2.  Be a better dad.  While I am becoming a better umpire, do not let my family fall by the wayside.
3.  Read more.

Well, happy birthday to me.

Some thoughts from this weekend

This may have been a life-changing weekend for me.

It’s not every day that something like that comes out of my mouth (or in this case, my fingers.)  I am a pretty mellow guy, flowing with the go, never high nor low.  So what happened this weekend that has me thinking?

It started off Friday.  I had the opportunity to conduct a wedding for Beth and Samuel.  Beth is someone I work with and someone I really enjoy talking to and knowing.  Samuel was her fiancé from Africa.  I had the opportunity to talk to them 2 weeks ago about marriage and how the ceremony was going to go… a small pre-marital counseling session.  Samuel was shy but when he got more comfortable, he talked his fair share.

Anyway, Friday night we went to the place where the wedding was going to be.  I got off of work at 3:30 to make sure I got there on time and I did.  In fact, I was the first one there.  I walked around and made sure everything was set up (which we did most of the night before at the walk-through.)  They did a great job setting it up.

The wedding went off well.  I felt comfortable – I also had the entire “sermonette” written so that I would not say, “Um” or try to adlib which I tend to do and chase rabbits.  What really got me was the collection of people who were there.  Beth has always been a bit eccentric and has a very interesting past.  She has made friends in each of these past lives (the best way to put it as these are different time periods in her life where she grew and changed from never to be there again) and even though she is not part of those scenes anymore, the lives she touched there are still impacted for their betterment.

While she is not a “big fan” of Jesus (probably because of the shortcomings of the church), I am sure that Jesus would be pleased if my circle of influence and my friends included everyone that is in Beth’s circle.  The people who showed up to her wedding are what I picture as the people who gathered around Jesus because He didn’t judge them.  He loved them and welcomed them, allowing His goodness rub off on them instead of bickering and demanding they change like we are so accustomed to today.  He never recommended the sin but neither did he condemn the person, instead showering them with love because they deserve love, if not even more than at least as much as the ones “too good” for this group.

It was a good time.

Saturday morning I am part of what is called the “Challenger Program” for Little League Baseball at a baseball park out in Alta Loma (about 25 minutes from where I live.) It is also where I umpire.  This program has kids with special needs and helps them play baseball, learning the character, loyalty and courage that the “normal” kids pick up playing in the other divisions.  It is a great day each Saturday and I wouldn’t trade it in for the world.  My son is in the younger division of Challengers and plays each week at 9 am.  After the morning session, one of the other board members (yes, I’m on the board too) told me that our league president, Bill, had passed away that morning.

This is my third season at Alta Loma and Bill has been away this entire season thus far due to illness, so I got to know him over two seasons.  Bill was an older gentleman but approachable and never a cross word passed his lips.  He was the type of person who welcomed you like you were a dear friend for the last 25 years and he was glad to see you.  I had many opportunities just to sit next to him while waiting for a game and just talk about baseball, life, and everything else.  A Little League takes the personality of its league president and Alta Loma is a great place to work because it has his gentle spirit.  I am going to miss him.  What I will miss most is his welcoming voice and smile making me feel like I belonged with my good friend.

This makes me think, compounded by the group of people at Beth’s wedding, what is going to be said about me?  Am I as welcoming to everyone, makes them know that someone cares about them?  My introverted-ness is no excuse as people don’t care about how shy you are –  they care that you care for them.

Saturday afternoon we had the older division of the Challenger program play.  These are people, ages 11-25, with special needs and the game is fun and inspiring.  I got to umpire the game – more of a symbolic thing than actually umpiring.  There are a few kids that make me cry whenever they play, Joseph in his wheel chair with his huge smile as he flies around the bases; Mario as he scoots down to first using only his arms, turning around and “moonwalking” halfway down the line with great joy.  All these young adults just love to play and be part of something normal.  Do I make these kids feel as my life-long friends?  They are special, not just special needs, but people who Jesus would hang out with too. 

Sunday morning was a little hard.  I have spent the last month in Children’s Church and our theme has been, “Jesus the Superhero.”  This week’s lesson was about how Jesus is stronger than death.  With Bill passing away the day before, this lesson hit home.  Ron, one of my puppets, a habitual exaggerator, had his goldfish die this week.  It ended up being funny but it hit close.  How jaded is my love for my fellow human being right now?  This week has been a wake-up call that I need to stop going through the motions and get on board with what I am called to do.

This morning, I went to work and can’t help but think that stamping my name on thousands of pages, doing student attendance, and answering phones really isn’t my calling. I knew that already, but I need to start working to be in the people business, not in the paper business.

Earlston Edgar Dale - 1931 - 2011

This weekend, I went up to Napa for my grandfather's funeral.  He died on December 23.  It was a rough year for my mom as her mom died in March and her dad in December.  We spend the weekend (weekend being Wednesday-Sunday morning) with my step-grandmother.  She was a great host -- very gracious and accommodating. Well, Saturday was memorial service and I was asked to coordinate a memorial service for him.  It went very well.  I'm going to post the eulogy here for your reading remembrance.  Let's just say that I am drained -- emotionally, physically from the drive up and back, and mentally from being an extrovert for so long yesterday.  I'm just not an extrovert.

It was nice to see family I haven't seen in a while though.

My eulogy for my grandfather, Earlston Edgar Dale:

Part 1 -- Welcome statement:
Today we are gathered here to celebrate the life of Earl Dale. I wanted to start off with a story he once told me about my mother.
It was summer of 1962. The kids were out of school and grandpa was at work. He received a call from home that day. It was my mom. She was 6 years old at the time and loved doing puzzles. Well, he said that she was hysterically crying on the other end of the phone call. “What’s wrong, honey?”
“Daddy, I’m smart, right?”
“Yes dear. What’s wrong?”
“Daddy, I’ve been working on this puzzle for an hour now and I haven’t been able to put two pieces
together.”
“What is it a picture of?”
“It’s a lion.”
“Well honey, keep working on it and I’ll help you out when I get home.”
Well, the day progressed as normal at work. When grandpa got home, there on the coffee table laid
the puzzle, no two pieces put together. My mom sat there with tears in her eyes. With a chuckle, he
walked over and picked up the box.
“Audrey, first, this is a lion, not a tiger. And now, would you please put the cereal back in the box.”

Earlston E. Dale, born Sept. 25, 1931, in Sugarette, N.M., passed away Friday, Dec. 23, 2011. He was 80.

Earlston worked for 35 years in the California State Mental Health System. He was a founding member of the California Association of Psychiatric Technicians (CAPT), serving as their first union president. His hobbies included gardening and bingo. Earl was funny, gregarious and full of joy. He owned more than 350 crazy hats and had a joke for everyone.

Earl is survived by his loving wife, Roz, whom he married on March 17, 1992; his sister, Marci
Dale Lockhart, his children, Stephen W. Dale, Concord, Calif., Kenneth D. Dale, Reno, Nev., Audrey
L. Escarzaga, Hemet, Calif., and Nina S. Jones, Sequim, Wash.; 10 grandchildren; and 19 great-
grandchildren.

He was preceded in death by his daughter, Ruthmarie Dale, and parents, Walter and Lita Dale.

-----------------------------------------

Part II: The Eulogy:

I was thinking of where I wanted to focus on in giving the eulogy for my
grandfather. How do you come up with some sort of semi-comprehensive speech
about the life of a man so complex and rich in personality without writing books
or spending days in conversation with those who love him best? Looking through
yearbooks and old pictures of him, it is safe to say that he marched to his own
rhythm. He played trombone. He loved a good joke. He was a great writer. He
loved silly hats. He loved to make those around him laugh. He looked snazzy in a
bow tie. He loved bingo, dancing and football. He loved to talk with anyone who
would give him the time of day and even those who wouldn’t.
If we look back on his life, you can see what was important to him by where he
invested his life. Grandpa was quite the investor.
He invested in the enjoyment of others. His silly hats and his jokes are
legendary. Grandpa always was ready with a smile and a story, sometime
true. Grandpa would say the way to remember a joke was to tell it to everyone
you met that day. He not only said it, he lived it. If you spent a day with him, you
would know the joke too.
I was talking to my kids about my grandfather and they remembered being able
to go into his hat room and play. It was a great time for them. While he collected
the hats, they never lost their original intent. The enjoyment was more important
than the items. He lived his life in that simple joy of watching others enjoy life.
He invested in people who could not invest in themselves. The Apostle Paul wrote
in 1 Corinthians, “Praise the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father
of mercies and the God of all comfort. He comforts us in all our affliction, so that
we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the
comfort we ourselves receive from God.” Grandpa worked 35 years for Mental
Health system. He worked as a psych tech, taking care of people in their greatest
time of need. This job took him from San Jose to San Bernardino, then to Sierra
County where he was the entire Mental Health Department. The story goes that
he was once reported to Patient’s Rights because he made one patient laugh so
hard from his jokes that she busted a stitch from a recent surgery. Not only did he
make them laugh, he took good care of them to where they would trust him before
anyone else.
He invested in his co-workers. Grandpa made sure that his people were taken
care of, being instrumental in the formation of the union to take care of Psych
Techs throughout the state. He served as the first president of the union, then as
the steward for years. His nature of talking served him well in this investment
– when management saw Earl Dale coming, wearing his derby, they knew
something was wrong and that he was there to fix it.
He invested in his family. Early in his family life, Grandpa was known to work
three jobs to make ends meet – having 5 kids with bottomless stomachs. But all
this time on the job did not stop him from knowing his family. On trips to sell
Fuller Brushes, he would often take one of the kids with him, traveling from house
to house. The kid would spend the day in the car as Grandpa went door to door
selling brushes. It was time fondly remembered.
When he learned that he was going to be a great-grandfather, he put together
a complete family history spanning generations, to make sure that the future
generations would remember those who came before. He passed on his qualities
to his children and grandchildren. I stand before you today an example of what he
passed on – not just his receding hairline, his tastes in bad jokes and an ungodly
amount of body hair in places that it doesn’t belong, but in his love for life, his love
for people, and his love for his family. Earl Dale’s life on this Earth ended too soon
but is a life well-lived. I can imagine Grandpa walking the streets of gold today
with Jesus chuckling, saying, “tell me that one about Andy again. That one never
gets old.” May he rest in peace.

------------------------

We buried Grandpa's ashes in a park in Napa right behind the State Hospital where he worked for so many years.  He was buried with his favorite derby hat.

The annual birthday post

Sure, it's a few days away but I've got to ask, do these 37 years make me look old. Man, I'm going to be 37.

What's happening?

Micah, my son, just turned 10.

That is scary enough. I guess I started thinking a couple of weeks ago about how I am going to be 37. In my mind, I never figured I'd make it to 74, so I thought about how I may be half way done with my life. Yeah, pleasant thought. So I started to think of all the things I've wanted to do before my time was done. This was the list I came up with on Facebook:
1. Be a better dad. Less computer time, more reading time.
2. Finish my BA. Find the money to do so.
3. Get that Challenger program up and running with Steve Bailey up at North Rialto.
4. Get involved with Children's Ministry.
5. Be a better umpire. Go to umpire school.
6. Go see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat live.
7. Stop procrastinating, some.

I've since added one more in my head -- Take part in National Novel Month. I have a story in my head. I have the outline. I told the story to my kids last year at Christmas and they enjoyed it. So I have been starting to do some research to give some legitimacy to the novel. They say outlines and notes are encouraged. They don't want the story already told though. My problem is the story is a familiar one taken from a different view so the ending is known already. The journey is going to be the adventure.

#1-- I have been working on it. I am still not as successful as I want to be but I have been working on it. It is better and always on my mind.
#2 -- Haven't started looking at it yet.
#3 -- I started making calls today. Talked to Western Regional. Talked to the city of Colton. Looked at a map for some fields and have some ideas. Our original idea of Rialto Western isn't going to work since Rialto Pony uses the field now. Saw a couple places in Rialto and Bloomington which may be appropriate also.
#4 -- I'm working at it. I'm teaching Sunday School. This Sunday, I am doing a baptism at our church for one of the kids in my Sunday School class -- the first baptism at our church since our family has been going. I was really surprised when Pastor Albert asked me if I would do it. Really, really surprised. But really happy too. I'm looking at the doors that God is opening at Palm and outside of Palm, especially with the Little League stuff -- a chance to meet people who need to know Jesus and an opportunity for me to be that example.
#5 -- I signed up for umpire school, February 11-17, 2012. Looking forward to in immensely. I am really going to have to start a workout program so I am in umpire shape in February instead of waiting until the new season and getting into umpire shape 3-4 weeks in.
#6 -- Haven't really looked into it. If it comes up somewhere, I'll look into it but it's not really a high priority right now.
#7 -- I'm working on it... mostly tomorrow.
So #8 is the novel. I'm thinking and reading and researching. November should be a fun month.

I've also joined the church softball team. We had a double header on Sunday night after AWANA. Getting to know a bunch of the guys at church in a different way. It was interesting though. I haven't played softball since I worked at Safelite some 10 years ago. I wasn't very good. So I wasn't expecting much on Sunday. Well, I ended up going 8-9 in the double header (the one out was the last out of the second game.) I played a pretty decent first base. One of my hits was a bomb to dead center that went over people's heads (second game.) From then on, they were scooting everyone back when I came to bat, so I sprayed the ball to the games, mainly on the right side of the field. It was fun. I should have had a triple on that blast but I'm not in umpire shape, much less run out a triple on a blast shape, so I made it halfway to third and turned around to get a double. At one point I slid into second quite ugly and scrapped up my calf and knee. The field burn is quite ugly. Like I said, though, I am not in softball shape so I have been sore for 2 days now. Have to start stretching and getting into better shape. Let's make that one #9.

Am I doing too much at one time? Probably, but I feel that I need to make up for lost time, that these aren't just my dreams that I concocted on my own but feel they are passions and desires that are God-given and will bring Him glory. That I must keep in mind when striving for any dream (thanks Doug.)

So, 37. Yeah, I'm getting years. I'm no spring chicken, but as a wise man once said, youth and exuberance is no match for age and treachery. Time to treacher on.

Dear Girl Scouts,

An open letter to the Girl Scouts Council of San Gorgonio, (As I don't know if the same thing happens in other councils, but I'm suspecting it does as money and power make many people drunk,)
I am sad to inform you that my wife and I have decided that your organization is not the right place for our daughter to be a part of.  This decision comes with a heavy heart but one clear and free of impulsive emotions.  I wanted to let you know why we have come to this decision.
There are many things that my daughter has learned from Girl Scouts.  She has learned that hard work can earn her rewards.  She has learned that there are people out there who do care about her outside of her parents.  She has learned how to be part of a group and what it takes to do what is right for the better of the group.
She has also learned that there are parents out there who will lie and cheat to make sure that their daughter gets ahead, no matter what it costs others.  She has learned that sometimes bad people get away with being evil because no one with power really cares except to cover their own backside.  She has learned that people are mean.  She has learned that people only care about themselves too much of the time, no matter if it hurts other people.  She has learned that it is good to question authority because the authority doesn't matter and only her desires are what matters.
I thank God that my wife and I are there to intercept and correct some of the things she has learned from your organization. 
My wife has given so much of herself over the last 6 months that she has been the leader of this troop that should have been dissolved with the former administration with insufficient support from the local council.   She has jumped through hoops to do what was demanded.  She has battled with MS to make sure that the girls came out on top.  She has sat back and taken abuse from spoiled, disrespectful parents who were looking out only for themselves and their daughters, teaching my daughter that sometimes it is better to do what is best for the whole than for the one.
My daughter is heartbroken about this decision but we, as her parents, feel it is better for her to suffer a little heartbreak now than to have to deal with the heartbreak of learning that there are people out there that really don't care about her and would stomp on her just to make sure that their daughter, their power or their position are protected. 
I have attached a picture of my car that was burned after it was stolen.  I hope this is sufficient evidence that it was indeed stolen (along with the police report that she turned into you).  I expect your written apology soon for accusing her that we lied about the theft of my vehicle, with enclosed Girl Scout paperwork.  Your handling of this situation really left a lot to be desired in personal relations.
I wish you the best and pray that one day someone will do what is best for the girls instead of what is best for cookie sales and the bottom line.
Tony

The Death of Osama

I know my opinion about the death of Osama Bin Laden means very little to anyone but me but I'm going to put it out there anyways.

I don't know what to feel about this. I am torn between the patriotic feelings of our country getting justice against a man who did an ultimate evil against our citizens. I am glad that those who lost loved ones can feel a little bit of closure.

My initial feeling though was that people were going to feel vindicated, that people were going to get drunk of the wine of revenge. He took 3000+ of ours in one shot, more soldiers since that day and now has "gotten his."

Ultimately, my initial reaction was that here was a man that everyone hated and wanted dead but one that God loved, despite his sin, and that he now has to answer for what he did, not for killing so many people, but for what he did with God's love and His Son. He has led so many astray, children, men and women. He has funded hatred for so long.

His death may have closed a chapter but a war is not done yet. This may re-energize those who have been in hiding for so long. "Martyrs" tend to do that. I pray that our government will do it's one job well -- to protect her people from foreign threat.

I don't feel peace from this, nor do I feel additional terror. I have peace despite it -- yesterday the same as tomorrow.

Girl Scout Law: It's not just for Girl Scouts Anymore

The Girl Scout Law

I will do my best to be
honest and fair,
friendly and helpful,
considerate and caring,
courageous and strong, and
responsible for what I say and do,
and to
respect myself and others,
respect authority,
use resources wisely,
make the world a better place, and
be a sister to every Girl Scout.

So...
Last night my wife attended the Girl Scout Troop meeting without my daughter for a parent meeting. In it, she was pretty much blamed for the troop being a mess and was asked summarily to stop being the troop leader as of May 15th. Yeah, they knew that she was going to leave at the end of the year anyway to start a new troop that didn't have all the baggage that this one has. They are starting the new year planning then and don't think that having Trina in a position of leadership will help their cause.
They are also planning on changing the troop number because it is a "new troop". Here is where my problem is. We, as parents, want to teach our girls how to be respectful. We want them to respect authority, have integrity, have character, know what is right and wrong, and be a sister to all other Girl Scouts world wide. Let me give some people a clue -- if you want your kids to have these qualities, you better start having them yourself.
This troop's biggest problem is not Trina. It's not a bad administration before her. It's not that they have too much money. It's not that they lost all their paperwork when my car was stolen. It's that there are too many parents in this troop who have no integrity, who will step on all the rest of the girls in the troop to make sure that their child gets her fair share and more, curse the rest and laugh. These parents have no integrity.
I posted on facebook a while back about a parent who took her granddaughter out to another council area and started selling cookies out there before that council was allowed to sell cookies, a gross violation of the rules that could have resulted in the entire troop losing all cookie sales and she knew better. But it was ok because she was getting her sales no matter what else happened to anyone else.
Last week, there was an Easter egg hunt at the troop with one egg having a "Golden Ticket" to get an Easter basket instead of the just the candy in the egg. Well, there were more eggs than kids at the meeting so a couple of the parents had to go out and pick up 7 eggs to make it that everyone got 5 eggs each. One of the parents accidentally picked up the golden ticket egg, so she put it back down and picked up another one. When the girls start to come out, she makes sure to tell her daughter, "Go pick up that green one." Integrity. If I would have found the egg during a random pick up, I close it up and toss it to the middle of the field, none the wiser of what I found and wish every girl the best in finding it. But this parent thought that their daughter deserved the basket more than any of the other girls and had to cheat.
So, when my wife is no longer the troop leader of this troop come May 15th, outside I will sympathize with her and console her. Inside, I will be rejoicing because she gets the opportunity to start her own troop and not have to deal with a group of ungrateful, lying, selfish, ingrate parents who are teaching their girls to be the same. If you want your child to be honest and fair, friendly and helpful, and a sister to every Girl Scout, how about trying it yourself.

The more I think about it, the more I'm bothered

So, in case you don't follow me on facebook, let me set out the entire situation as it occurred.

Thursday night is Girl Scout night around our house.  Trina, being a girl scout troop leader, has a box full of paperwork for the Girl Scouts, including contact information, permission slips, money, etc.  So, getting home Thursday night, she was suffering from MS fatigue and asked me to make sure I bring in her box.  Not a problem, I thought.  She made sure to lock it.  I went out later to get something for her in the van.  I double-checked to make sure it was locked. It was 10 pm.
As I was getting the kids ready to go to school, we walked out of the house to get into my car.  It was in the driveway.  But then, it wasn't.  I walked back into the house, "Where's my car?"  It wasn't there.  It wasn't parked on the street.  It wasn't down the street.  It was gone.  So the kids have to go to school.  We jump in the van real quick and I take them.  Meanwhile, my wife calls the sheriff department to report the stolen car.
I get back and decide that I can't go to work that day because we were going to have to take care of a lot of stuff.  Sheriff shows up and begins to interview us.  The car was in my wife's name so they asked her for her license.  It was at this point that we realized that her wallet was in the car still.
So, while the sheriff interviewed my wife, I began calling banks to cancel her card.  I call GEICO to report the theft.  Of course, we didn't have comprehensive on a 15 year old car bought for $1600 as the cost/benefit analysis proved that was a gamble worth taking (we lost) so they can't help at all.  My home insurance couldn't cover anything because we have $1000 deductible there and we didn't lose $1000 worth of stuff.
So, now the list of stuff in the car in order of importance:
1)  My wife's wallet and purse
2)  All the Girl Scout's information
3)  My umpire gear
4)  My favorite shirt
5)  About $50 in tools
6)  My umpire uniforms and hats
7)  My Denver Bronco sticker
8)  My razor
9)  A plug/car charger converter
10) My license plate frame that says, "I'd rather be behind home."
11) About 4 years worth of collecting HeroClix
12)  About $2.50 in change
13) Some Axe Deodorant
Well, after going to the DMV to get a new license, cancelling all the bank cards, taking care of what we could, spending $280 to sign the entire family up for LifeLock immediately (since all the kids' social security cards were in my wife's wallet.)
So Friday night we have no idea where the car is.  Of course, driving down the street I'm looking at every car driving the other way to see if it was my car.  No luck (of course.)
Saturday morning, I take Micah out to his baseball game.  Right before it starts, I get a call from the police department saying they found the car. Great!  Oh there's bad news.  It was burned.  I don't know how bad.  They give me the phone number for the tow truck company that has the car.  I'm able to call them and they would send someone out to look at the car but I couldn't go look unless I wanted to pay the $100 to open the gate or wait until Monday to see it for free (plus all the fees.)  We'll wait for Monday.
Sunday is our day to go look at cars.  We go to CarMax and figure out that the number we're looking to pay is not going to be possible.  So we figure out that we are going to need to go up a little and figure out a way to come up with more funds (anyone need a part-time secretary/child care specialist/warehouse guy/umpire?)  We ended up with a 2006 PT Cruiser for $318 a month.  That's going to be hard but God has provided before and He's been pretty faithful.
Monday finally comes.  I'm going to show up late for work that day to take care of all the car stuff.  We went to the police department for the release.  Then we go down to tow yard, pay $365 ($235 for towing fees and a ton for storage fees of a dead car) and go take a look at the car.  List of stuff in the car that we were able to identify:
1)  The Girl Scout Information burned so it wasn't taken
2)  All the car parts were in tact, including radio.
3)  A couple of Umpire shirts that were in the back.  We've washed them a couple times and they still stink pretty good.
4)  My license plate frame is fully functional!  It goes on the PT!
5)  The Bronco Sticker, rolled up and burned to a crisp.
That's about it.  I wasn't able to recognize anything else.
So, from talking to others about it, someone probably stole it, went and robbed a liquor store or something, parked the car out in Loma Linda (behind the Del Taco on Waterman and Barton,) burned it to hide any evidence and used my umpire bag and wife's girl scout tote to fill with the loot.  I went to where the car was found and it looked like the trash truck came that morning (Monday) to empty the dumpster so I wasn't able to find anything.
So I was ok with everything.  Then I start to think about how the tools my wife and I use to volunteer for things we care for were all stolen.  Then I start thinking about what kind of jerks would do that, take stuff that ultimately is going to hurt kids, not just our 4 but all the kids we work with.  What kind of jerks would steal a car to rob a place and try to get it to point back to us if the car was seen driving away?  Why did this happen to our family!?  Getting more and more upset.
I have to change my perspective though.  They didn't steal my car, my umpiring gear, my razor, my wife's stuff.  These are all ministries that God has given us outside of the church to work with the lost and be a positive influence, showing God's love in everyday life.  They stole God's stuff.  But that's the great thing.  God has a lot more stuff than they can ever steal -- stuff they couldn't steal if they wanted to -- because God wants to give it away.  Maybe one day I'll find some of my umpiring stuff hiding in a pawn shop.  Maybe I'll inadvertently run into these guys who did this, not knowing it was them.  I hope that they will feel the love that God has given me all these years through me despite what they did.  God loves them.  I may not be happy with them but my anger and hurt isn't going to hurt them.  I won't get even by holding a grudge.  In the end, God is good.  All of the time.

When games get SERIOUS!!!!

You know, as one who likes the multi-player games of the world, I have run into a couple of people who take these games far more seriously than they should. I like them. I play them. I hate it when I miss out on something but it is not the end of the world. I'll just run into someone who takes themselves and the game way too seriously sometimes. It happens a lot on fighting-type head-to-head games. Tactics Arena was that way too many times. Runescape, with it's PvP areas was pretty bad at times. And now it happened again on a facebook wrestling game. The problem here is that it happened in a place that I am responsible for maintaining. So I cleaned it up. I did what I needed to do to take care of the situation, much to the chagrin of the one who took the whole situation way too personally and seriously. I guess these situations come up more often in these 1 on 1 type games because of the type of people who play these games for the most part -- people who want to make sure that you know that they are more intelligent or more diligent or have more time to play these type of games than you do and you are not worthy to buckle their +5 speed sandals.
I like my games but always have to keep them in the realm of just that -- games. Some people are going to be better than I am and some are going to be worse. If I ever take it more seriously than that, someone slap me silly.

So a thought occurred to me

Well, it's been a while since I posted here. Sorry for the delay for those who care :)
This morning I was driving to work when a random thought came to me about what would happen if Jesus came back to take his church today and how would the world explain it away. I think the Left Behind books say it was some kind of weird environmental thing that just vaporized some people and leave it at that. That seems weird to me. Then the thought came to me...

How many people would still go to church on Sunday as if nothing happened? How many churches would continue on with little change as some of their members may be missing but the majority is still here?

This isn't a blanket criticism of the church as I am a member of one, as well as a member of the universal church, but I have to take this to heart about myself. Am I ready? I am brought back to the 10 virgins waiting for the bridegroom and how 5 had to go search for lamp oil only to miss the coming of the groom. I think about how Jesus said that He will tell many that He never knew them even though they performed miracles in His name. I think about Jesus separating the sheep and the goats based on their responses to those around them and how they showed love to their neighbors. About how a real faith lives in real works and not in feel-good statements.

If Jesus were to come back today, would the number taken be so small as not to make a difference in our nation? Am I ready or am I lukewarm?

Some People Think Our State Is Square

If you have been keeping up with my facebook account, you'll know that Trina and I are in Colorado on vacation. Yesterday was our 10th anniversary. It's been a great 10 years.
We've been having fun up here, driving around, looking at sights. On Tuesday, we went white water rafting. It was fun but my body is still paying the price for it. I think part of it is the lingering effects of the car crash on Sunday where my back in sending little jolts up electricity up my spine nearly everytime I sit down. Of course, this may be aggrevated from when I broke my tail bone some 4 years ago and it may have set wrong -- but what do I do about that? In reality, I need to get some of the pressure off my back by losing some of the weight up front.
But back to white water rafting. It was fun. It was interesting putting your well being into the hands of someone else who is experienced, but in reality, is just as likely to fall out as anyone else. In fact, we had a three rafts of guide trainees with us and one of the trainees fell out of the raft. By the grace of God, Trina and I stayed in the raft. Of course, when we ended, I could barely stand up with my hip feeling like I was Jacob after wrestling with God and had to walk with a limp from then on. I think I'll heal though.
Yesterday, June 3rd, our anniversary, was by far our busiest day out here. We started up waking up at way too early in the morning and then leaving our room about 7 am. We drove down a couple of windy Colorado mountain highways with many beautiful sites along the road, until we finally emptied out of the mountains into Boulder. It was like... poof! You're in Boulder.
In Boulder, we went to the Celestrial Seasons Tea Factory. It was a good tour but not quite up to Jelly Belly standards. Of course, the Peppermint room was mind blowing -- or more like senses blowing. It invaded every sense with it's strength.
After the factory, we started looking for Mile High Comics. One of my friends told me it was in Boulder, so we looked it up on our phone and headed to Denver. This lead us to... their distribution warehouse. Oops. So we drove around Denver. We drove downtown, saw Coors Field (Rockies), then through downtown where I had my first geek-out moment of the day -- we passed through the intersection of Colifax and Broadway, made famous to me by the Five Iron Frenzy song, "From 0 to 15". Around the capital building, through downtown, and then to Invesco Field at Mile High (Broncos). We ended up taking a stadium tour (second geek-out moment) which lasted about an hour and got to walk down to the field (Staying off the grass.) Cool pictures to be posted later.
Spending some time in the team store, we finally took off on our quest to find a brick and mortar Mile High Comics store. We finally found it. It was ok. The guy behind the counter was saying they really do most of their business online now so none of the 4 B&M stores are too big anymore. But it was cool to find it. It looked like... a comic book store.
So we started considering dinner. My sister recommended a place that she saw on Man vs. Food called, "The Buckhorn Exchange Restaurant". So we found it. It is in the projects of Denver now. The building looks 117 yeas old. It was 4:30 and dinner service started at 5:30. So around 5 we head in (after 45 minutes of driving through Denver looking at houses and a lake.) We go in and they require reservations. Bummer. So we go upstairs to look at the saloon. I end up going back down and asking about how long reservations should be in advance. He tells me between 24-48 hours, but since it was just the two of us, he'd sneak us in. I didn't even need to play the anniversary card.
Let me say that this was, by far, absolutely the best restaurant I have ever eaten in. The menu looks like an old newspaper with a bunch of the history of the restaurant. The walls are lined with pictures of people who have eaten here, guns, mounted heads and full body animals, stories of Wild Bill Cody and Teddy Roosevelt, and history. Amazing. Then the two person steak came out. By far the best steak I've ever had. The buffalo noodle soup was fantastic. If you come to Denver just for this restaurant, you've made a good trip. Wow.
So now, it's Friday and I'm waiting for Laundry to dry. After the full day yesterday, now we are resting until we go drive trail ridge road up in the Rockies. Sounds like fun.
The problem with vacations is that they end way too early, but I am looking forward to seeing my kids again. Still, I have been enjoying my wife. Marriage is good.

RIP And Awards

I never even named her. She was reliable. She was fun to drive. She had a bed that did lots of work. She was my truck. It was a 2002 GMC Sonoma, SLS and she is no longer in my care. She has gone to meet the great GEICO in the sky.
We were in an accident this afternoon. We were turning left across a four lane road (2 each side). There was no turn lane. On the other said of the road, there was a car turning left to go the opposite way we were heading. It looked clear. As we turned, another car suddenly appeared in the next lane. I don't think it zoomed and changed lanes. It was just in my blind spot hiding behind the car turning. And it hit us. Right in the passenger side front tire area. The truck is totaled. Trina bumped her head on the window but seems to be ok. My truck, though, is gone.
I'm ok. I was laughing and talking on the phone shortly after the accident. Fun stuff.
Well, God knows what he is doing though. Of course, 6 hours later now, I am sore.
We were out getting ready for an AWANA awards night. This is a celebration of what God has done this year in the lives of these kids who have been studying His Word. It was a very good ceremony. I almost cried only once tonight while preaching, so that's a good thing. I'm going to see if I can throw the sermon up here somewhere as an attachment if you want to read it. I did steal the idea from Raising a Modern Day Joseph, a book by Larry Fowler that really has revolutionized the way I am raising my kids. But God worked tonight.
We had one kid who finished every book that AWANA has for grades 3-12 grade this year. In fact, he pushed, studied, struggled and stayed motivated to learn all the verses, 1000 of them, from the 14 books in 2 months. That's motivating.
We are on our way out of town for a week in 10 hours. It should be a good week in Colorado if I am not as sore as I am now. A week of vacation is just what the doctor ordered.
RIP my poor Sonoma. I figured out what I want to pray for now. I am praying for another GMC Sonoma, stick shift, green this time with an extended cab. So, if you know of anyone giving this truck away for God, let me know.

You Make Every New Day Seem So New

Just recently, my favorite group of all time released a documentary of their career. It is called, "The Rise and Fall of Five Iron Frenzy." If you are a fan of FIF, you have to go out and get it. The main disk is a 3 hour documentary going year by year of what was happening with the band. It is a great documentary. But the part that any FIF fan has to get is the bonus disk, which has 5 music videos, a bunch of short films that they band did in their spare time just to have fun and most importantly, 3 live concerts -- including the live 2 hour concert from the Filmore in Denver, CO in November, 2003 -- the band's final show.
If you were to ask me my favorite song of all time, it is a FIF song. It's the first song on the music player below called, "Every New Day" and it is their final song of every concert played. If I'm in the right mood, it'll make me cry. It makes me want to get up and jump around. It makes me scream, "HA HA!" as loud as I can when I'm driving down the road to sing along. It is the definitive song of my life.
I grew up with Five Iron Frenzy. I didn't realize how much I grew up with them until they came out with the song, "I May Be Old (But At Least I'm Not Like All Those Other Old Guys)" In it, he mentions that he's 29 years old -- the same age I was when I first heard the song. It's amazing how their songs move right along with my life. It's like you could play the CD's along as a sound track for my life. But in the end, there's always "Every New Day." No matter how bad it gets, no matter how lost I seemed, God was always there making every new day seem so new. He was giving me a new hope.
I do go through my phases with them on my playlist but I still find it amazing that songs I loved in my young 20's are still relevant, still tug at my heart, make me laugh, cry, dance, sing, yell, skank and enjoy life. The power of music, but more important, I believe, is that it is the power of God working through a group of 8 kids in Denver, Colorado who went through struggles, doubts, disbelief, love, breakups, and the normal, everyday things that I went through (me without the pink hair.) So these 7 years after Five Iron Frenzy broke up, I get to watch their concerts on DVD and reminiscence on a simpler time in life where I lived and had a soundtrack.
Make sure you listen to "Every New Day" below.
"Every New Day"
Lyrics:
When I was young, the smallest trick of light,
Could catch my eye,
Then life was new and every new day,
I thought that I could fly.
I believed in what I hoped for,
And I hoped for things unseen,
I had wings and dreams could soar,
I just don't feel like flying anymore.
When the stars threw down their spears,
Watered Heaven with their tears,
Before words were spoken,
Before eternity.
Dear Father, I need you,
Your strength my heart to mend.
I want to fly higher,
Every new day again.
When I was small, the furthest I could reach,
Was not so high,
Then I thought the world was so much smaller,
Feeling that I could fly.
Through distant deeps and skies,
Behind infinity,
Below the face of Heaven,
He stoops to create me.
Dear Father, I need you,
Your strength my heart to mend.
I want to fly higher,
Every new day again.
Man versus himself.
Man versus machine.
Man versus the world.
Mankind versus me.
The struggles go on,
The wisdom I lack,
The burdens keep pilling
Up on my back.
So hard to breathe,
To take the next step.
The mountain is high,
I wait in the depths.
Yearning for grace,
And hoping for peace.
Dear God...
Increase.
Healing hands of God have mercy on our unclean souls once again.
Jesus Christ, light of the world burning bright within our hearts
forever.
Freedom means love without condition, without a beginning or an end.
Here's my heart, let it be forever Yours,
Only You can make every new day seem so new.

Protection

This morning, I read Psalm 91 before I start working on my sermon for Sunday Night as a devotional time. Psalm 91 is written by Moses and covers how God protects his own. Two of the verses in Psalm 91, verses 11-12, are verses that Satan twists around to tempt Jesus to jump from the top of the temple to see if God will protect him from hurting himself - to which Jesus replies that we are not to test God.
I look back in my life to see the protection that God has afforded me. I probably don't see the physical protection as much because I didn't get into those auto accidents, or have near misses to great bodily harm that I see. I do see how God, through the years of being a prodigal son, has protected me from activity that would cause me to be ineffective in any ministry or with my family. I don't know if it is a normal teenage thing, but boy, when I was 17, I would have loved to hook up with a girl and be immoral. I don't think I could have gone through with it because of the guilt associated with it, as well as the Holy Spirit prodding me to steer clear. His protection was with me.
I spent 4 years in the Navy with some rather Navy-like guys, even in a chaplain's department. For 3 of those years, I was the designated walker, staying with my friends in the bar to make sure they made it back safe, especially in foreign countries. God kept me out of the bottle and ruining my life that way. His protection was with me.
I remember walking around the United Arab Emirates by myself in the middle of the day just checking out the town of Dubai in 1994. I walked around Mazatlan by myself. I walked around Singapore, Perth, Hobart, Honolulu, Hong Kong, Ecuador, Panama City by myself numerous times. I walked in Philadelphia at ten at night through the South side looking at stuff from the Rocky movie by myself. Through all this, I was not by myself apparently. His protection was with me and kept me from harm, from being on a tape with terrorist, from getting lost (too badly) and from falling and injuring myself. God has protected me all my life, through when I was walking with him and when I was trying to run away.
Looking back at the protection God has granted me all these years, I can't help but wonder about the plans God continues to have for my life. There is more to this life for me than food, sleep and computer. I pray that God refills me, my energy, my excitement, my passion and uses me for His glory.