The Family

The Family
Just pretend Becca's eyes are open

Thursday, May 7, 2009

... It pours

Sometimes I wonder if the bad news ever stops coming...

First of all, God is good.  I could be depressed right now, but I'm not.  Plenty of reason to be, but I'm not and I give God the credit for that.

A friend of mine went to prison yesterday.  I'm not going into the details, but I was able to spend some time with him on Tuesday night.  I thought I was going to have to go in and try to reassure him that God has not abandoned him but God got a hold of him that morning and showed him that He had not abandoned him, which made for a much better evening :)  "I was in prison and you came to me..."

Something else occurred to me last night and I hope it is the activity of an over-active imagination pushed one way a little too much.  In my imagination, I picture myself having finally pulled my head out of the sand to see the knife about to be plunged into my back at the same time as a friend of mine is having the knife plunged into his.  I know about the friend but it is not my place to save him because I do not have the authority and it is not definite yet (although it is close.)  I see how they are treating him and turn around to see that the same thing may be happening behind my back.  How safe am I? 

Once I started putting pieces together last night, things started to make sense but I hope my sense is nonsense because of the implications.  Perhaps I have burned too many bridges.  Perhaps I have responded wrong too many times.  Perhaps things are better off there without me.  It all may be true, but if it is the case, I do wish someone would have the integrity to come to me and tell me to my face that this is the case.  I am hoping, again, that my imagination is working overtime and this is all for naught.  I am excited for the future and see great things that God can do and would love to be part of it.

Time to get to work and put the imagination away.  I covet your prayers though.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

When it rains...

Right now, I wish it would rain. Holy cow, it's hot in Southern California.

Life is busy right now. The church is selling it's property and moving. Work is getting through a real busy season so it may calm down. Schools are getting to the end for the kids. T-ball and challenger leagues are up and running for Becca and Micah and umpiring is in full swing. Ah, the busy life. I enjoy it actually.

But then, the whole world can crash down anytime now. If you have been following Trina's blog (http://supermommiesbeautifullife.blogspot.com/), you know about her recent vision problems. You also know about a possible reason for it. Well, in case you haven't, Trina is being seriously tested to see if she has Multiple Sclerosis, or MS. Until recently, all I knew about MS is that Jerry Lewis raises money for it. From what I have heard from Trina, it doesn't look pretty.

Trina had a doctor's appointment today and they put her on a second medication (the first is doing funny things to her blood sugar, which messed up a blood test today apparently and makes her feel tingly all over) which I guess is usually for those who have a full-blown MS diagnosis. They haven't told her one way or the other definitively yet but might as well have with this.

Trina is such a great mom, a great person and my best friend. I don't know what to feel right now. It took me a while to get used to Micah's autism diagnosis -- not that I was in denial but that I didn't want to learn more about it, didn't want to learn of the full ramifications, or didn't want to deal with the emotional heap that was inside of me. I think I am on the verge of that same place with my wife and I can't hope she'll grow out of it or that I will grow into it like I did with Micah. We have too many responsibilities to our family to pretend it isn't happening.

So here I am confused, dumbfounded, and lost, not necessarily wanting to be found. I'll continue on the best I can, try to be a better husband and father, and try to change my attitude. If this is God's way of trying to get me to grow up, it's painful. Autism isn't enough but now there's MS. I hope and pray that the girls don't develop anything greater than cheerleaderism and twinism. Of course, I am only part of it -- there are a lot of people affected by this. But I know, through it all, that God is good. God is kind and merciful and the source of strength, peace, and compassion.

Oh yeah, after the appointment, Trina came home, told me a little bit, then took off to go hang out with our sister-in-law. On the way, she called me on her cell phone to tell me where she was going so I wouldn't worry and of course, got pulled over for talking on a cell phone while driving. On top of that, while in my car, I did not have current proof of insurance in the car (it is insured and there are tons of old copies of other policies, just not the current.) So that will be a dandy ticket when she has to report on Friday to court. Stupid nanny state. Yeah, she was breaking the law and deserves the ticket but I can complain about the law in the first place :D

Job 1:21
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Life in the Church has just gotten real interesting

Last time I left you, I was in a quagmire. I'm better now. Thank you for your prayers. I see God working all around and He's got something BIG planned.

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know that Dale left our church in February to pastor a church in Hemet. Very sad times indeed. But right now, it is starting to become clear what is happening.

Last year, we were talking about a church who wanted to buy our church property. It was a Spanish speaking congregation, which makes sense in our current location since 80% of the people around the church are Hispanic, with a huge amount of them actually speaking only Spanish. We, as a church, were not equipped anymore to reach our immediate neighborhood. It was a time of excitement in our church. Was God going to do something here? We were hoping for between $4.4 Mil and $4.8 mil (listed at 4.8) The offer came in. They offered $2 Mil for just our sanctuary. How that was going to work, I don't know. It was a ridiculous offer that was impracticable. So we voted against it. The excitement drained. Dale was discouraged. It felt like we missed an opportunity. God was changing Dale's heart to make it where he would listen and move to where God had him for his next ministry -- Hemet. If we as a church would not have gone through that disappointment, I don't think Dale would have ever listened to God saying move.

So, when we voted no, we, as a church, agreed to put the church on the market in case this was God's way of making it so we would be open to it. We said we would actively place the property on the market until January, 2009. In the meantime, Dale feels God leading him away. He interviews out at Hemet, lets the staff know what God may be doing, and we are all in prayer. Dale gets called on February 15, 2009 to move away from FBC Fontana and be the new senior pastor at Hemet Valley Baptist Church.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. Our church financial officer and one of the trustees is a real estate agent. He is showing a church out in Western Fontana to another church because they are interesting in moving to a permanent building. Coincidence has it (or Divine providence...) that one of the people looking at the church property for this church is the sister-in-law of our financial secretary. The church they were looking at was too big (it is an old community hospital so it was large and with a $48 mil price tag.) She remembered that our property was on the market at one point, so she asked Jim about it. He said, well it was on the market but not anymore. She asked if they could take a look at it anyways. He agreed and brought them to our property. They looked around and loved it. They looked at the original listing, saw the $4.8 Mil listing price we had 10 months ago (and if you've been paying attention, property values have plummeted since then) and figured out that they could make an offer for the listed price.

Now was a matter of bringing it to our congregation. We are in the middle of electing a new pulpit committee when this gets tagged onto the end of a business meeting as a possibility. Kinda floored everyone (although I knew about it before hand... it still amazes me.) We had a second business meeting already planned for the following Sunday to vote on the nominees to the pulpit committee so the discussion was held until we had more information.

The second Sunday evening business meeting happens and we vote for a new pulpit committee. Then begins the discussion on do we as a church want to sell our property to this Spanish-Speaking church who is offering us full price on the property and move to a property in North Fontana where there are about 3 churches total, and only one with a building, merge with our mission church we started up there, and build on a property we had talked to the housing development company that owns it currently with their blessings because they want a church in the area, or do we stay where we are and change who we are to reach our community?

Back when we were first talking about moving up to North Fontana, we had a contingency come down from the California State Convention to do an assessment of our church, our congregation, and our demographics. They have decades of experience in making sure churches are healthy and capable of growth. They pointed out that they have never seen a better case of a church moving. They said we either move, stay and die, or stay and radically change. The fact that there are no Southern Baptist churches up there, much less any other churches of note, a Catholic church and a Muslim mosque are currently being built in the area, and the property company was willing to work with us just added to their message.

Back to the second Sunday. We began our business meeting at 6:30 pm. At 8:30 pm, the discussion was still hot and heavy. People were starting to get tired but no one wanted to leave. It was suggested that we open up the Wednesday night prayer service to continue the questions and that was accepted. Finally, we finished for the evening. Wednesday night has not seen so many people in quite a long time. More discussion.

Then comes Palm Sunday. In the morning we had the Easter cantata (I had a minor speaking part --- real minor. I played Simeon the man who waited in the Temple because God promised him he would not die until he saw the messiah -- a usual Christmas/Epiphany story but a good starting point for Easter.) In the evening, we had our third business meeting in that many weeks. It was only to vote on whether we were going to accept the offer or not. While the votes were being counted, we did 'All Music Night', a chance for anyone who wants to sing (my whole family sang 'Shine' and I mean everyone -- Becca, Micah, Ali, Zoe, Trina and I.) Finally, the vote came back. There were exactly 100 voting members at the meeting. The final tally was 86-14.

So, we're moving. I need to get some tubs to store all my stuff indefinitely because I probably won't have an office again in too long to mention if ever. That's ok though. God is working and his work is bigger than me having an office. AWANA will still happen, even when we are not in a building. I am starting to think how we need to do VBS outside in a park and where. We have recaptured some of that excitement that dissipated back in August with the bad offer.

Here's a link to the exact location we are looking at purchasing:
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=Lytle+Creek+Rd+%26+3+Mile+Rd,+Fontana,+CA+92336&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=50.37814,79.101563&ie=UTF8&ll=34.155444,-117.464554&spn=0.012962,0.019312&t=h&z=16

Just south of the property is a new housing development which is real nice. South of that is a huge community center, brand new, that we are talking with the city about to let us use as a place to meet for 2 years while we build on our property. South of that is Summit High School -- a nice location to build an incredible youth ministry. This is an incredible location, just off the 15 freeway (so we can put up a sign where people are constantly stopped on Friday evenings on their way to Vegas sharing Christ on an electronic marquee) and the area is still booming despite the recession. Construction costs are down. Property costs are down. We are going to be able to get more property and more building for less money than if we would have moved 10 months ago. God's timing is perfect.

Pray as we move that God will make the transition smoother than we hope for, the merging of two churches loving, and start opening hearts in the area.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Maewyn Succot - Happy St. Patrick's Day

Sunday, March 15, 2009

In the cave

I have had a pretty frustrating day/week. There is so much going on around me that is pushing me down, making me feel like Jezebel is set to kill me if she ever gets to me. I feel like running to a cave and waiting to see what is there. I don't know what is right in my life right now because I see so much wrong.

I am not looking for a pity party. I look and see that I am at the point of my ministry being ruled ineffective. I have a hard time looking back and remembering my last Mt. Carmel. Was it VBS last year? Not really. I was disconnected. Perhaps it was VBS 2007. Has there been any successes?

Today was bad day. One of the kids I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs about how he needed extra attention had a really bad day. I lost control of the group. It doesn't help that 'the group' has shrunk to a very small number. AWANA has shrunk. Children's church has shrunk. Preschool and children's Sunday school have shrunk. I look and see that I have failed. I have not built the leadership structure around me, around the kids, to allow it to grow. And so, now I look and wonder if I can lead in this position, in this place. Have I been neutered to the point of ineffectiveness because of my actions, others attitudes, and loss of respect. I don't know.

I look at the things mounting up around me, my family, and wonder if God is closing doors. We are becoming outcasts. I've been there a long time already but things are starting to look grimmer. I look and wish the cave just to close up on me to save me sometimes. Where are my earthquakes, my fires, my strong winds and my still small voice to bring me back?

So I wonder. I sit and think about if the grass is greener on the other side. I think about if ministry is more open elsewhere and wonder if that's where God is leading. I don't think I'll get another position on staff, even voluntary like I am now, elsewhere because I don't have the degrees. Sure, I have the ordination paper and a preaching license, but right now, I doubt their presence.

In the end, though, I know that God, no matter what is going on in my life or how I feel, is good and that He loves me. I may feel the world is against me and that they are looking for the opportunity to strike me down when I'm not looking, but God is good.

I will persevere and wait on God to open doors, close doors, blow up doors, whatever He's going to do. In the end, it's not about me but about Him and how I can please Him and so I will continue on to work for that goal.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Attack of the Week

It has been an interesting week and I had a bomb dropped on me to top it off.

First of all, my dad is in the hospital with apparent internal bleeding that they can't find and anemia.  No fun for him.  He's been in the hospital since Tuesday and should be singing grunge music soon since some of the blood he was transfused was from Washington state.  Puget Sound Blood Bank to be exact.  I thought that was interesting.  He doesn't like missing work, so to be off almost an entire week is driving him crazy.

It's been a long week of monotonous work at work.  I hate pressing 'P' all day long.  Data entry is not my forte.

And then I had a bomb dropped on me... like I mentioned before.

My wife came up to me this morning and told me that Becca really wants her ears pieced.  I was speechless.  My 5 year old daughter?  Pierced ears?  Ummm.. ummm.. she was just born!  She's too young!  She's not supposed to have earrings this early!  She's... she's... she's my baby girl.  My wife said that she's been explaining it to her.   That she took her down to the mall to watch someone squimish get their ears pierced.  That she told her about the pain and Becca still wants it.

I thought.   I didn't think I was going to have to deal with this until she was at least 18.  Maybe older.  (Ok, at least 8.)  I didn't want it -- but that was probably me trying to hold on to my little girl. Pierced ears were another sign of her growing up.  Much like me with never drinking coffee or not getting my drivers license until I was 25 -- I have to push off growing up somehow.  Peter Pan is a good role model... isn't he?

So I walked out of the room, looked for some clothes to dress in so I could go to work, and came back in.  "Ok, she can go ahead."  My wife seemed happy with my decision and Becca didn't hear it yet.  Good parenting.  Don't ask in front of the kids (tip for future parents.)  That way it isn't 'daddy is the bad guy' or 'mommy is too mean' and parenting is a team sport.

So... I'm not sure when I walk into the house today that I am going to be greeted by a smiling girl with silver in her ears or which day that will happen.  One of these days I'll have to ask... does this growing little girl who I'm walking down the aisle make me look old?  Oh man.  Please no! :D

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

A little experiment

A game I am watching as part of HEROES wants me to post this phrase on a blog or something, so I'll give it a shot.

Viva la libertad -- A Friend.

If you aren't watching HEROES on Monday nights, you are missing a good show.  It's getting back to Season 1 goodness :)

That is all.