On a forum I frequent, they were asking people to post love stories (not dirty ones! Get your mind out of the gutter!) So I thought and thought and thought and wondered who I could write about. Ok, not really... there was no one else to write about in my mind. Since Trina had written about me a couple of times lately, I guess it's my turn to return the favor. This is what I posted:
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I was an entertainer at a local amusement part when my wife and I were dating. Part of my act was to come out in the middle of the show and deliver mail to the host of the show, usually being something silly like a letter that said 'duck' where I would try to squirt him with water but get the audience instead or some free popcorn for certain audience members. Well, one November afternoon (November 22, 1998), I went out three times. The first two were the situations above. The third time, I came out with a giant envelope (must have been 1 meter x .5 meters for all you non-Americans out there) that had my girlfriend's name as the addressee. As I delivered the envelope to her, she opened it and the front read, "I was wondering..." Inside read, "What are you doing for the next 75 years?" At that moment, I got down on one knee, pulled out the engagement ring, and proposed to her in the middle of the show (it was actually the closing) in front of everyone there to see the show. She was so excited/dumbfounded that she couldn't speak... in fact, I had to prod her to answer. She then quickly nodded her head and we were engaged It was a very happy day.
We were engaged for a year and a half. The day of our wedding came and we were at the large church that we both grew up at to get married. Me, always thinking of greeting people, was out before the wedding greeting people, saying hi, thanking people for coming until they almost had to literally drag me out of there so I could make my traditional entrance. Finally 2 pm arrived and I entered behind the pastor and in front of my best man, climbed the stairs to get on stage and waited. The moms were seated, then the bridesmaids entered. Then, suddenly, filling the entrance way some 100 yards away (it was a big church), was my fiance in her white dress. I couldn't help but tear up as I saw her walking towards me to be my wife. She was crying, I noticed, as she got closer but this was the most beautiful she had ever been. We said our vows, exchanged our rings, I told her a joke during the musical interlude after lighting the unity candle, and we kissed. She was now my wife. This was a very good day.
There is nothing like when your first child is born. It is all a blur to me now but after hours of labor, my son was born and my wife, sweating, hair matted on her face, having endured hours of pain and struggle, never looked as beautiful as that moment. That was a very happy day.
Then my daughter was born. It was much like the ordeal with my son but we knew more what to expect this time. The labor was not as long but the pain, sweat, and beauty were still there. That was a very, very good day.
Then, we got crazy and decided to have twins (how do you make that decision? Don't ask me.) 9 months of the craziest pregnancy ever, of being sick, looking like she was hiding a beach ball instead of being pregnant, of some of the silliest questions, and the day arrived. Having been pros at this, this interesting angle of having 2 babies at the same time was enough to keep us interested The time for the births came and the escorted us to a huge birthing room where 20-30 nurses and doctors came to watch the birth of natural twins with no medication. I guess that was a rarity. Pretty quickly, the first girl was born. My wife asked, 'how long does it take for the second to come usually?' Jokingly, I said, '4 hours.' I've never seen dirtier looks from my wife or the midwives in my life. 4 minutes later, my second daughter was born. They were beautiful -- tiny compared to the monster my son was at birth-- but perfect. My wife, frazzled, dazed, relieved, and tired, was more beautiful today than I could remember her. It was a great day.
This morning, I woke up to my seven year old coming in and asking for waffles, our normal routine lately. Slowly I got up, looked to my right, and sleeping next to me was my wife, more beautiful today than I ever remember her. Today will be a fantastic day because I have the love of my life.
------
End
The Family
The extended family
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The Failure of My Ministry
I have to wonder if I have failed the children of my church.I look at some of the kids who have come out of our program into the youth and see that they do not have a strong Biblical foundation. They do not like coming to church a lot of the time. They don't see the relevance of the Bible in our everyday life. Looking at that, there is little question that we have failed.
But, why? Why have I failed in so many lives?
I heard from someone wiser than I say, "They are not going to care about how much you know until they know how much they care." Yeah, it's a nice platitude, but how real is that? There are a couple of boys in our program right now where it seems that they are getting in trouble with me and becoming disruptive more than should be. Of course I get frustrated. But where is my frustration coming from? Is it because I cannot finish my lesson? Is it that they are not hearing my pearls of wisdom? I look and see that more times than not, it is.
I do not think these boys think I care about them as people but only as students who must be taught. So now I begin looking at how to make my ministry more relevant, not in teaching them but in showing them I care and love them and want to see them grow in love with God. Ultimately, teaching is part of this, but it is not the end-all goal of my ministry.
I need to do more prayer and study of His Word to find out what the goal of the Children's ministry of First Baptist Church needs to be. In the back of my mind is the 5S Racing stuff still. To help families raise children who will run the race successfully. Is this truly the goal? I have told preschool teachers that we should spoil preschoolers and that they should love coming to church because this is where they are shown tons of love. Why not in children's ministry? I am more interested too much of the time in teaching than loving.
Should the goal of our children's department be that we are going to show the love of Christ to children and their families in every aspect of ministry first and foremost? We need to show love through teaching but not sacrifice community building and loving family time for the sake of getting through the lesson.
Our daycare was called, "1st Kids" as it was not only a play on First Baptist Church Kids but as a philosophy of treating Kids like first-class citizens and putting their physical needs and spiritual needs to know Christ a top priority. It isn't about getting through the lesson. The same philosophy needs to be everywhere in our program. It should run through every action we take – God loves them. We love them.
It is time for a total revamp of Children's church and possibly every aspect of our children's ministry. Love is the first, last and middle that needs to be everywhere and this is not about finding the right curriculum. It's about making it a place where they feel loved, where they feel relevant and where God is relevant in their lives.
I'm tired of failing them.
But, why? Why have I failed in so many lives?
I heard from someone wiser than I say, "They are not going to care about how much you know until they know how much they care." Yeah, it's a nice platitude, but how real is that? There are a couple of boys in our program right now where it seems that they are getting in trouble with me and becoming disruptive more than should be. Of course I get frustrated. But where is my frustration coming from? Is it because I cannot finish my lesson? Is it that they are not hearing my pearls of wisdom? I look and see that more times than not, it is.
I do not think these boys think I care about them as people but only as students who must be taught. So now I begin looking at how to make my ministry more relevant, not in teaching them but in showing them I care and love them and want to see them grow in love with God. Ultimately, teaching is part of this, but it is not the end-all goal of my ministry.
I need to do more prayer and study of His Word to find out what the goal of the Children's ministry of First Baptist Church needs to be. In the back of my mind is the 5S Racing stuff still. To help families raise children who will run the race successfully. Is this truly the goal? I have told preschool teachers that we should spoil preschoolers and that they should love coming to church because this is where they are shown tons of love. Why not in children's ministry? I am more interested too much of the time in teaching than loving.
Should the goal of our children's department be that we are going to show the love of Christ to children and their families in every aspect of ministry first and foremost? We need to show love through teaching but not sacrifice community building and loving family time for the sake of getting through the lesson.
Our daycare was called, "1st Kids" as it was not only a play on First Baptist Church Kids but as a philosophy of treating Kids like first-class citizens and putting their physical needs and spiritual needs to know Christ a top priority. It isn't about getting through the lesson. The same philosophy needs to be everywhere in our program. It should run through every action we take – God loves them. We love them.
It is time for a total revamp of Children's church and possibly every aspect of our children's ministry. Love is the first, last and middle that needs to be everywhere and this is not about finding the right curriculum. It's about making it a place where they feel loved, where they feel relevant and where God is relevant in their lives.
I'm tired of failing them.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Two Songs on my Playlist
If you scroll to the bottom of my blog, there is a playlist of songs that I love. I am able to listen to them today, surprisingly, and two of them stuck out to me more particularly -- one because it always does and it really is more of my life song, the second because of the events of the day.
The first is "Missing Person" by Michael W. Smith. This, outside of maybe "Every New Day" by Five Iron Frenzy, is my favorite song because it is who I am and the struggles I have been through. Here are the lyrics:
1st Verse:
Another question in me
One for the powers that be
It's got me thrown
And so I put on my poker face
And try to figure it out
This undeniable doubt
A common occurrence
Feeling so out of place
Guarded and cynical now
Can't help but wondering how
My heart evolved into
The rock beating inside of me
So I reel such a stoic ordeal
Where's that feeling that I don't feel
Chorus:
There was a boy who had the faith to move a mountain
And like a child he would believe without a reason
Without a trace he disappeared into the void and
I've been searching for that missing person
2nd verse:
Under a lavender moon
So many thoughts consume me
Who dimmed that glowing light
That once burned so bright in me
Is this a radical phase
A problematical age
That keeps me running
From all that I used to be
Is there a way to return
Is there a way to unlearn
That carnal knowledge
That's chipping away at my soul
Have I been gone too long
Will I ever find my way home
Chorus:
There was a boy who had the faith to move a mountain
And like a child he would believe without a reason
Without a trace he disappeared into the void and
I've been searching for that missing person
He used to want to try to walk the straight and narrow
He had a fire and he could feel it in the marrow
It's been a long time and I haven't seen him lately, though
I've been searching for that missing person
Bridge:
For that missing person
For that missing person
Oh oh, oh oh,
Chorus:
There was a boy who had the faith to move a mountain
And like a child he would believe without a reason
Without a trace he disappeared into the void and
I've been searching...
He used to want to try to walk the straight and narrow
He had a fire and he could feel it in the marrow
It's been a long time and I haven't seen him lately, though
I've been searching for that missing person
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Where are you?
Where are you... (fades to close)
Another question in me
One for the powers that be
It's got me thrown
And so I put on my poker face
And try to figure it out
This undeniable doubt
A common occurrence
Feeling so out of place
Guarded and cynical now
Can't help but wondering how
My heart evolved into
The rock beating inside of me
So I reel such a stoic ordeal
Where's that feeling that I don't feel
Chorus:
There was a boy who had the faith to move a mountain
And like a child he would believe without a reason
Without a trace he disappeared into the void and
I've been searching for that missing person
2nd verse:
Under a lavender moon
So many thoughts consume me
Who dimmed that glowing light
That once burned so bright in me
Is this a radical phase
A problematical age
That keeps me running
From all that I used to be
Is there a way to return
Is there a way to unlearn
That carnal knowledge
That's chipping away at my soul
Have I been gone too long
Will I ever find my way home
Chorus:
There was a boy who had the faith to move a mountain
And like a child he would believe without a reason
Without a trace he disappeared into the void and
I've been searching for that missing person
He used to want to try to walk the straight and narrow
He had a fire and he could feel it in the marrow
It's been a long time and I haven't seen him lately, though
I've been searching for that missing person
Bridge:
For that missing person
For that missing person
Oh oh, oh oh,
Chorus:
There was a boy who had the faith to move a mountain
And like a child he would believe without a reason
Without a trace he disappeared into the void and
I've been searching...
He used to want to try to walk the straight and narrow
He had a fire and he could feel it in the marrow
It's been a long time and I haven't seen him lately, though
I've been searching for that missing person
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Where are you?
Where are you... (fades to close)
-------
In Sunday's post about accountabilty and being 'the good boy,' I relate to this song incredibly. I look back and see times where I was exciting about serving God, about knowing God, and now I am more of a grumpy old man who's lost the ferver. Now, so many times, I look to find the passion again. It's still in there somewhere but to get it out of the heart of stone is a challenge -- pray that God will replace my heart of stone with a soft heart easily hurt but willing to be molded by the Lord.
The second song is "My Deliverer is Coming." This version is sung by dc Talk for the Prince of Egypt soundtrack, but it is originally written by Rich Mullins -- one of my favorite writers, God bless his soul (yes, I know it's rest, but I know Rich is resting in the comfort of His Lord.) Here's the lyrics:
Joseph took his wife and her child and they went to Africa
To escape the rage of a deadly king
There along the banks of the Nile, Jesus listened to the song
That the captive children used to sing
They were singing
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
Through a dry and thirsty land, water from the Kenyon heights
Pours itself out of Lake Sangra's broken heart
There in the Sahara winds Jesus heard the whole world cry
For the healing that would flow from His own scars
The world was singing
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
He will never break His promise - He has written it upon the sky
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
I will never doubt His promise though I doubt my heart, I doubt my eyes
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
He will never break His promise though the stars should break faith with the sky
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
To escape the rage of a deadly king
There along the banks of the Nile, Jesus listened to the song
That the captive children used to sing
They were singing
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
Through a dry and thirsty land, water from the Kenyon heights
Pours itself out of Lake Sangra's broken heart
There in the Sahara winds Jesus heard the whole world cry
For the healing that would flow from His own scars
The world was singing
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
He will never break His promise - He has written it upon the sky
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
I will never doubt His promise though I doubt my heart, I doubt my eyes
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
He will never break His promise though the stars should break faith with the sky
My Deliverer is coming - my Deliverer is standing by
------
My deliverer is coming. I imagine alot of people feel that their deliverer gave a speech today after he was sworn into office. No person ever sworn in as a politician will ever by my deliverer. I will pray for my leaders. I will obey them to the point they do not disobey the Lord. I will respect them but they are not my deliverer. My deliverer is coming! Though I doubt my heart and my eyes, He is coming back for me to bring me home! Oh, the joy that will be that He will call me His own, and not for what I have done. I don't have to vote for Him -- He is already ruler. I don't have to give Him everything for He owns it all. My deliverer is standing by!
I do pray that God bless Obama and give him wisdom. I actually loved Rick Warren's prayer today. I pray that God will continue to bless George W. Bush in his endevours and thank God that Bush stood on principles and character even if it destroyed his reputation and legacy. History will be kinder to Bush than his current critics.
But, in the end, Obama may do good or bad, but my deliverer is coming! Amen!
Pray for Tim and Marc (Blogs to the right) as they are doing outreach in Siberia right now (although righ now they are probably sleeping.)
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Accountability
Proverbs 27:17
17 As iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another.
Here I am in beautiful Windsor, California spending some time with family, going to church with my grandpa, spending time seeing his hat collection and going different ways between Windsor and Napa to find beauty in God's creation and I have been thinking about this blog all week. A friend of mine entrusted me with some things in order to keep him accountable. I was able to share with him some things that I needed to be accountable for also.
You may think that since I was ordained last week I must have it all together. After all, what church would be foolish enough to ordain someone who doesn't have it all together. Well, let me let you in on a little secret... God doesn't call people when they are perfect or ready. Look at the life of Moses. God called him after 40 years of humbling him to the point where Moses no longer believed he was able to do anything, 40 years after he tried to rescue the Hebrews on his own power because of his own position and it took 40 years for God to break him completely before God could use him in mighty ways. Likewise, I am not the spiritual giant you would expect someone to be as a pastor. I struggle with pride. I struggle with slothfulness. I struggle with lust.
Most people have never heard my full testimony. There are some that I have felt close enough and trusted enough to give the darker parts of my past in order to know me, my walk with the Lord, and my struggles. Let me just share that for too many years in my life I did the right thing because it was the right thing and not because of my love for the Lord. I was a good kid. I put off that persona and no matter how hard I was struggling on the inside, I was the good kid.
I was called to the ministry when I was 9 years old. I knew from that point that God had a special calling on my life and that I needed to keep my nose clean. But as I grew as a teenager, it became less about the calling and more about keeping my nose clean. I was an example to other people -- which in and of itself is not a bad thing -- but the motivation was wrong. It wasn't love. It was pride. I was prideful that I could put on the show of being good while my heart was lazy. Yeah, I served faithfully and hard but the life was mostly on the outside.
I survived the Navy as the good boy. Pornography was all over the place and I got into that some but tried not to show it outside. I knew my personality and knew that if I got into any vices, they would stick and it would be too hard to get out of, so I have never drank, smoked, or done drugs. I gambled some while I was in Hobart but God made sure I didn't go overboard by breaking my ATM card :)
Like I said though, I was the good kid.
My struggles now are more with computers in general and not manning up and doing what is needed because I complain about either being tired or just not wanting to. I know I need to spend less time on the computer and more time being with my kids, my wife, and my chores.
So if you are to pray for me, pray that I get my priorities straight in my personal life and not worry about being seen as 'the good boy' and really become the 'follower of Christ' in my everyday life.
We need to be accountable to someone.
James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
More on this later.
Tony
17 As iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another.
Here I am in beautiful Windsor, California spending some time with family, going to church with my grandpa, spending time seeing his hat collection and going different ways between Windsor and Napa to find beauty in God's creation and I have been thinking about this blog all week. A friend of mine entrusted me with some things in order to keep him accountable. I was able to share with him some things that I needed to be accountable for also.
You may think that since I was ordained last week I must have it all together. After all, what church would be foolish enough to ordain someone who doesn't have it all together. Well, let me let you in on a little secret... God doesn't call people when they are perfect or ready. Look at the life of Moses. God called him after 40 years of humbling him to the point where Moses no longer believed he was able to do anything, 40 years after he tried to rescue the Hebrews on his own power because of his own position and it took 40 years for God to break him completely before God could use him in mighty ways. Likewise, I am not the spiritual giant you would expect someone to be as a pastor. I struggle with pride. I struggle with slothfulness. I struggle with lust.
Most people have never heard my full testimony. There are some that I have felt close enough and trusted enough to give the darker parts of my past in order to know me, my walk with the Lord, and my struggles. Let me just share that for too many years in my life I did the right thing because it was the right thing and not because of my love for the Lord. I was a good kid. I put off that persona and no matter how hard I was struggling on the inside, I was the good kid.
I was called to the ministry when I was 9 years old. I knew from that point that God had a special calling on my life and that I needed to keep my nose clean. But as I grew as a teenager, it became less about the calling and more about keeping my nose clean. I was an example to other people -- which in and of itself is not a bad thing -- but the motivation was wrong. It wasn't love. It was pride. I was prideful that I could put on the show of being good while my heart was lazy. Yeah, I served faithfully and hard but the life was mostly on the outside.
I survived the Navy as the good boy. Pornography was all over the place and I got into that some but tried not to show it outside. I knew my personality and knew that if I got into any vices, they would stick and it would be too hard to get out of, so I have never drank, smoked, or done drugs. I gambled some while I was in Hobart but God made sure I didn't go overboard by breaking my ATM card :)
Like I said though, I was the good kid.
My struggles now are more with computers in general and not manning up and doing what is needed because I complain about either being tired or just not wanting to. I know I need to spend less time on the computer and more time being with my kids, my wife, and my chores.
So if you are to pray for me, pray that I get my priorities straight in my personal life and not worry about being seen as 'the good boy' and really become the 'follower of Christ' in my everyday life.
We need to be accountable to someone.
James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Tony
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Here's a few pictures from Sunday.
I thought I'd share a little. If you want to see more photos, I think you can check out my picasa file to see more.
I'm still thinking of that post I need to write though.
Monday, January 12, 2009
The Journey Thus Far
Ok, now that the ordination service has passed, it is now time to go back and reflect on the entire process.
Ordination Council:
In the end, it wasn't too hard. The questions were fair and it was easier being able to play off of Brian's answers and he mine.
The first question was fair but went directly to the question of the daycare without actually asking about the daycare. It was, "Has there ever been a time where you did not give your all in your ministry?" I answered truthfully -- yes. If you have been reading this blog for any time, you know that I fight a funk that could be called depression (although I see it more as a lack of faith in the ability of God to use me through my weaknesses) and I have had a hard time allowing myself to take risks and put myself out there to have my heart stomped again not only by those around me who will tear my failures apart but from my own high expectations.
Another question I was asked was if I felt ready to be a senior pastor yet. I answered no. God has not called me to be a senior pastor at this moment. A lot of people in primary and youth ministry are there as a place holder to learn the ministry until a position comes up that they can be behind the pulpit. I am content where God has me now. I look at my life and see God making provision after provision, training after training and gift after gift that have prepared me to be in children's ministry and if I was ever to become a senior pastor, it will be a work of God to change and grow me into that position. When I was first called to the ministry at 9 years of age, I always thought I'd take Rob Zinn's place at Immanuel (which runs about 8,000 right now.) I don't have the credentials to do that right now, nor really the heart and definitely not the calling. I do have the calling to be where I am right now though and with that, I find contentment with the Lord.
Other questions started with a lot of situational questions. Then we got some theological questions, such as to explain the trinity (!!!), what do you believe about the Bible, and do you believe that the gift of tongues is still around today? Overall, it was a good session and Brian and I were able to help each other indirectly. And they never really got into the Baptist Faith and Message.
The Ordination Service:
Before the service, Pastor Dale asked me if I would like to give my testimony first or second, before or after Brian. Not being a dummy, I said before Brian because I wouldn't want to have to follow him up. Brian is a fantastic communicator and a gifted preacher who I am going to love to see continue to improve and one day will be the leader of some mega-church somewhere (I keep threatening him with that.)
The service itself was fantastic. It started at 6:30 pm. By the time the laying of hands started, it was about 7:30. 45 minutes laster, we stood up. The prayer took 45 minutes, but while kneeling there, it only seemed like moments... maybe 20 minutes. It surprised me. If you read my previous blog, you remember how much I was concerned about kneeling for that long (it really wasn't knee problems, it was back.) Well, we were given chairs to steady ourselves so it wasn't a chore. I will tell you though that my elbows hurt after because I was putting enough weight on them so my back wouldn't hurt.
My friend, Tom, was probably the 5th person to pray over me. His prayer got me tearing up a little. Then, probably 15th or so, my dad walked up. The chair received a good watering. I know my dad has been changed into an emotional man, but growing up I never saw him cry and he had a hard time communicating feelings of love (it has passed down from generation to generation with the father showing his kids love by providing for them -- very cultural thing.) He told me that when I was first born, he held me in his palm and prayed that God would use me and make me His own in service and that tonight, God was answering that prayer completely. It's got to be something to see what God does over 34 years to answer a simple prayer over a baby to see His faithfulness. He was overwhelmed and his voice cracked, he was crying and of course, with him crying, I was too. When he finished praying, I had to stand up (which I'm not sure is kosher in the middle of being ordained) and had to hug him for a little bit. I'm not entirely sure he was comfortable with the PDA in front of the congregation because I could have stood there all night hugging him but he had the determination to continue to Brian to pray for him too. I haven't heard what people thought about that (except Eric who thought it was great) but really, I'm not really concerned if they thought it was sweet or overly emotional. It was what I needed to do at that moment.
So, when we stood up, Pastor Dale mentioned some changes, which in reality aren't too significant. Brian and I can put the abbreviation "Rev." before our names now. We can go visit prisoners anytime we want, even outside of visiting hours, by bringing our ordination certificate with us, and if we ever get to lead the inauguration prayer, we would be at the left hand of the president instead of the right as the government of the United States recognizes a minister of the Gospel a higher office than even that of the president. Brian may have that chance one of these days :)
After the service:
We had carrot cake and chocolate cake with strawberry filling at a small celebration after. Brian and I had to take a few hundred pictures next to the cakes, with our ordination certificates, with our families and wives and with Doug (the pastor who gave the charge to the candidates) and Pastor Dale and this person and that. I didn't mind the pictures. Brian said someone may get confused and think Brian and I are getting married by the amount of pictures though :-O
It was good to get to talk to people and really good for my friend Eric to make the trip out from Glendale to be part of it. I've known Eric since 1994 as we met in the Navy. Eric is the only person I keep in touch with on a regular basis from my Navy days (I have communicated with Chaplain Bartz a couple of times.)
When the celebration finally ended, Eric and I walked to my office where I hung my ordination certificate next to my license to preach the Gospel and I couldn't help but think that this is a work of God. Who would ever think that a guy who isn't so smooth talking in groups of people, who has so far to go to be a spiritual giant, and who just loves kids and teaching them about Jesus would have these two certificates on his wall? It is a work of God and not a push by me.
I am running out of time (and I continued this from last night as it was.) I need to make another post but will do that when I have some time either tonight or tomorrow.
God is good. All of the time.
Ordination Council:
In the end, it wasn't too hard. The questions were fair and it was easier being able to play off of Brian's answers and he mine.
The first question was fair but went directly to the question of the daycare without actually asking about the daycare. It was, "Has there ever been a time where you did not give your all in your ministry?" I answered truthfully -- yes. If you have been reading this blog for any time, you know that I fight a funk that could be called depression (although I see it more as a lack of faith in the ability of God to use me through my weaknesses) and I have had a hard time allowing myself to take risks and put myself out there to have my heart stomped again not only by those around me who will tear my failures apart but from my own high expectations.
Another question I was asked was if I felt ready to be a senior pastor yet. I answered no. God has not called me to be a senior pastor at this moment. A lot of people in primary and youth ministry are there as a place holder to learn the ministry until a position comes up that they can be behind the pulpit. I am content where God has me now. I look at my life and see God making provision after provision, training after training and gift after gift that have prepared me to be in children's ministry and if I was ever to become a senior pastor, it will be a work of God to change and grow me into that position. When I was first called to the ministry at 9 years of age, I always thought I'd take Rob Zinn's place at Immanuel (which runs about 8,000 right now.) I don't have the credentials to do that right now, nor really the heart and definitely not the calling. I do have the calling to be where I am right now though and with that, I find contentment with the Lord.
Other questions started with a lot of situational questions. Then we got some theological questions, such as to explain the trinity (!!!), what do you believe about the Bible, and do you believe that the gift of tongues is still around today? Overall, it was a good session and Brian and I were able to help each other indirectly. And they never really got into the Baptist Faith and Message.
The Ordination Service:
Before the service, Pastor Dale asked me if I would like to give my testimony first or second, before or after Brian. Not being a dummy, I said before Brian because I wouldn't want to have to follow him up. Brian is a fantastic communicator and a gifted preacher who I am going to love to see continue to improve and one day will be the leader of some mega-church somewhere (I keep threatening him with that.)
The service itself was fantastic. It started at 6:30 pm. By the time the laying of hands started, it was about 7:30. 45 minutes laster, we stood up. The prayer took 45 minutes, but while kneeling there, it only seemed like moments... maybe 20 minutes. It surprised me. If you read my previous blog, you remember how much I was concerned about kneeling for that long (it really wasn't knee problems, it was back.) Well, we were given chairs to steady ourselves so it wasn't a chore. I will tell you though that my elbows hurt after because I was putting enough weight on them so my back wouldn't hurt.
My friend, Tom, was probably the 5th person to pray over me. His prayer got me tearing up a little. Then, probably 15th or so, my dad walked up. The chair received a good watering. I know my dad has been changed into an emotional man, but growing up I never saw him cry and he had a hard time communicating feelings of love (it has passed down from generation to generation with the father showing his kids love by providing for them -- very cultural thing.) He told me that when I was first born, he held me in his palm and prayed that God would use me and make me His own in service and that tonight, God was answering that prayer completely. It's got to be something to see what God does over 34 years to answer a simple prayer over a baby to see His faithfulness. He was overwhelmed and his voice cracked, he was crying and of course, with him crying, I was too. When he finished praying, I had to stand up (which I'm not sure is kosher in the middle of being ordained) and had to hug him for a little bit. I'm not entirely sure he was comfortable with the PDA in front of the congregation because I could have stood there all night hugging him but he had the determination to continue to Brian to pray for him too. I haven't heard what people thought about that (except Eric who thought it was great) but really, I'm not really concerned if they thought it was sweet or overly emotional. It was what I needed to do at that moment.
So, when we stood up, Pastor Dale mentioned some changes, which in reality aren't too significant. Brian and I can put the abbreviation "Rev." before our names now. We can go visit prisoners anytime we want, even outside of visiting hours, by bringing our ordination certificate with us, and if we ever get to lead the inauguration prayer, we would be at the left hand of the president instead of the right as the government of the United States recognizes a minister of the Gospel a higher office than even that of the president. Brian may have that chance one of these days :)
After the service:
We had carrot cake and chocolate cake with strawberry filling at a small celebration after. Brian and I had to take a few hundred pictures next to the cakes, with our ordination certificates, with our families and wives and with Doug (the pastor who gave the charge to the candidates) and Pastor Dale and this person and that. I didn't mind the pictures. Brian said someone may get confused and think Brian and I are getting married by the amount of pictures though :-O
It was good to get to talk to people and really good for my friend Eric to make the trip out from Glendale to be part of it. I've known Eric since 1994 as we met in the Navy. Eric is the only person I keep in touch with on a regular basis from my Navy days (I have communicated with Chaplain Bartz a couple of times.)
When the celebration finally ended, Eric and I walked to my office where I hung my ordination certificate next to my license to preach the Gospel and I couldn't help but think that this is a work of God. Who would ever think that a guy who isn't so smooth talking in groups of people, who has so far to go to be a spiritual giant, and who just loves kids and teaching them about Jesus would have these two certificates on his wall? It is a work of God and not a push by me.
I am running out of time (and I continued this from last night as it was.) I need to make another post but will do that when I have some time either tonight or tomorrow.
God is good. All of the time.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
More on Dennis
Dennis appeared himself on CBS yesterday. If you get a chance to watch this, you'll see why everyone who has ever known him thinks the world of him. He is truly a good man changed by the Holy Spirit to be a great man.
Here's the video:
http://www.cbs2.com/video/?id=88987@kcbs.dayport.com
If you haven't seen his family's blog yet about this whole experience, it's here:
http://jdwupdates.blogspot.com
I can't wait to see him soon.
Here's the video:
http://www.cbs2.com/video/?id=88987@kcbs.dayport.com
If you haven't seen his family's blog yet about this whole experience, it's here:
http://jdwupdates.blogspot.com
I can't wait to see him soon.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Now for the hard part
On facebook, I mentioned how I have done the easy parts of ordination and now get to the hard part. You may ask what the hard part is. Is it living a life worthy of the ordination? Is it getting up in front of a bunch of people and speaking? Is it the higher expectations by everyone? Nope. I'll tell you what it is in a second.
Last night at church was the voting by the congregation (we are a congregationally ran church) and they voted by majority to ordain Brian and I. I didn't want to look at the percentages because I am sure I would be like, how come this many people voted no (although I am sure education played a part in that.) Sunday was the ordination council and I'll have to write another blog some time about the questions and some of the answers that I remember. I think that was easier with Brian to bounce things off of and take turns answering first.
The one thing about ordination services that has always been in the back of my mind as the hardest part was kneeling for 45 minutes as the other ordained men come and pray over you, placing their hands on your head. I have heard stories of some beginning to become tired and placing extra weight on your head while they try to remain upright, making it near impossible for the one being ordained to remain upright without their back or knees giving out. It has always been the one thing that has stuck with me the most... how will I be able to kneel for that long in that position?!? I couldn't even do that while being a puppeteer and I didn't have to support the weight of anyone else, just a puppet not pushing down on me.
Of course, it doesn't help that my back has been acting up all week as it is. My dad, when he was ordained a deacon, was able to sit down in a chair because of his weight. I am not at that point right now so I am going to have to man up and live through it. And then complain about it later to my wife who will say, "Ah, poor baby. Go to work," on Monday. I can already see Monday being a very long day after the excitement of Sunday night.
On a side note, I invited two of the more influential teachers in my life, one was my 3rd and 6th grade teacher (I talked about her in a previous blog, Mrs. Umble.) The other was my 12th grade English teacher for a semester. She saw my talent and pretty much kicked me out of her college prep class sending me to the AP class (where I did well and passed the AP test.) She believed in me when I didn't (I mentioned her name but not her story, Linda Cataldo.) Unfortunately, neither one is going to be able to make it because of other plans already made (too short of a notice) but both said they remember me (I visited Mrs. Umble for years after elementary school) and were sorry they couldn't make it and truly sounded honored for being asked to come. I wish they could but I understand short notices.
So I am going to start doing my deep knee bends, get my volleyball knee pads ready, and see if I can find a back brace that will help me survive the assault of heavy hands. I love being prayed for but the heavy hands scare me :D
Last night at church was the voting by the congregation (we are a congregationally ran church) and they voted by majority to ordain Brian and I. I didn't want to look at the percentages because I am sure I would be like, how come this many people voted no (although I am sure education played a part in that.) Sunday was the ordination council and I'll have to write another blog some time about the questions and some of the answers that I remember. I think that was easier with Brian to bounce things off of and take turns answering first.
The one thing about ordination services that has always been in the back of my mind as the hardest part was kneeling for 45 minutes as the other ordained men come and pray over you, placing their hands on your head. I have heard stories of some beginning to become tired and placing extra weight on your head while they try to remain upright, making it near impossible for the one being ordained to remain upright without their back or knees giving out. It has always been the one thing that has stuck with me the most... how will I be able to kneel for that long in that position?!? I couldn't even do that while being a puppeteer and I didn't have to support the weight of anyone else, just a puppet not pushing down on me.
Of course, it doesn't help that my back has been acting up all week as it is. My dad, when he was ordained a deacon, was able to sit down in a chair because of his weight. I am not at that point right now so I am going to have to man up and live through it. And then complain about it later to my wife who will say, "Ah, poor baby. Go to work," on Monday. I can already see Monday being a very long day after the excitement of Sunday night.
On a side note, I invited two of the more influential teachers in my life, one was my 3rd and 6th grade teacher (I talked about her in a previous blog, Mrs. Umble.) The other was my 12th grade English teacher for a semester. She saw my talent and pretty much kicked me out of her college prep class sending me to the AP class (where I did well and passed the AP test.) She believed in me when I didn't (I mentioned her name but not her story, Linda Cataldo.) Unfortunately, neither one is going to be able to make it because of other plans already made (too short of a notice) but both said they remember me (I visited Mrs. Umble for years after elementary school) and were sorry they couldn't make it and truly sounded honored for being asked to come. I wish they could but I understand short notices.
So I am going to start doing my deep knee bends, get my volleyball knee pads ready, and see if I can find a back brace that will help me survive the assault of heavy hands. I love being prayed for but the heavy hands scare me :D
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
I guess it's as good as the auto bailout
Well, the local news just had it's opening story talking about the guy from 'Girls Gone Wild' and Larry Flynt are going to Congress to see if they can get a bailout package for the porn industry, talking about how they employ more people than the auto industry, they have $13 billion in sales annually, and they are hurting with the recession. While I do not agree with their business not believe they deserve nor will receive a bailout, I see the point. I don't know if they are for real in this request, but where does the giving out of taxpayer money stop?
The beauty of capitalism is that it forces business to continue to grow, become more efficient, remain relevant in society, and keep struggling to be better so the public will continue to use them. If something else becomes better, then the old product goes out the window. Should the government should have bailed out Morris Code machines or the telegraph? How about the Pony Express? Stage Coaches? Should we have bailed out Betamax or 8-Track players, record players, cassette tapes, VHS tapes, or even CD's and the music industry as a whole?
The problem with the auto bailout is that they are doing things that worked before technology overtook their processes. Look at some of the Japanese companies. Sega was an industry giant with the Sega Genesis, Sega Saturn, Game Gear, and some of their own games. They had a good market share against Nintendo. Then Play Station came in and knocked Sega to #3. They began losing market share and revamped their entire company to move away from gaming systems to creating games - arcade and home console. They are now one of the most successful game creators out there. They didn't go to the Japanese government and ask for a bailout. They revamped, reformed, and succeeded.
Ford, GM, and Chrysler need to change. They can't continue to do the same thing and hope for different results (the true definition of insanity.) Is this going to hurt people? Yes, but not as many as if they don't try to change at all and everyone loses their jobs. What made Henry Ford successful was seeing a product and learning how to do it better. Now the company that bears his name sees a product and is too weighed down by bureaucracy, union demands, and no thinking outside the box laziness to be able to make change.
Fontana suffered, and in a way still does, from the closure of Kaiser Steel decades ago because they became irrelevant having to keep up with the union while keeping their product cheap enough against foreign product. They weren't bailed out. It was just business.
I think I am going to ask for a bailout plan, as well as propose one for Atari because I miss those 2600 games. Nothing like the floating square that was supposed to represent a round ball breaking non-descript blocks.
(Is this porn bailout story so important that they have to show it twice this hour?)
The beauty of capitalism is that it forces business to continue to grow, become more efficient, remain relevant in society, and keep struggling to be better so the public will continue to use them. If something else becomes better, then the old product goes out the window. Should the government should have bailed out Morris Code machines or the telegraph? How about the Pony Express? Stage Coaches? Should we have bailed out Betamax or 8-Track players, record players, cassette tapes, VHS tapes, or even CD's and the music industry as a whole?
The problem with the auto bailout is that they are doing things that worked before technology overtook their processes. Look at some of the Japanese companies. Sega was an industry giant with the Sega Genesis, Sega Saturn, Game Gear, and some of their own games. They had a good market share against Nintendo. Then Play Station came in and knocked Sega to #3. They began losing market share and revamped their entire company to move away from gaming systems to creating games - arcade and home console. They are now one of the most successful game creators out there. They didn't go to the Japanese government and ask for a bailout. They revamped, reformed, and succeeded.
Ford, GM, and Chrysler need to change. They can't continue to do the same thing and hope for different results (the true definition of insanity.) Is this going to hurt people? Yes, but not as many as if they don't try to change at all and everyone loses their jobs. What made Henry Ford successful was seeing a product and learning how to do it better. Now the company that bears his name sees a product and is too weighed down by bureaucracy, union demands, and no thinking outside the box laziness to be able to make change.
Fontana suffered, and in a way still does, from the closure of Kaiser Steel decades ago because they became irrelevant having to keep up with the union while keeping their product cheap enough against foreign product. They weren't bailed out. It was just business.
I think I am going to ask for a bailout plan, as well as propose one for Atari because I miss those 2600 games. Nothing like the floating square that was supposed to represent a round ball breaking non-descript blocks.
(Is this porn bailout story so important that they have to show it twice this hour?)
Friday, January 2, 2009
The Baptist Faith and Message
Sunday afternoon, Brian (our Associate Pastor) and I will be going through ordination council to see if we are ready to be ordained for the gospel ministry on January 11th. This is a huge step in both of our ministries and both of our lives. While I have been licensed for the gospel ministry for about 5 years now (I'll have to check my certificate hanging on my wall at church) this is a huge calling.
Upon sitting down with my pastor about what to expect at the council, he suggested I know my testimony, the circumstances of my calling (when and how), and the Baptist Faith and Message.
Much smarter men and learned men in theology have debated these things and have come up with this doctrine of faith, but I have some questions about it. Let me go into the 3 that I found while reading it.
1) Article III, Man
Statement: "By his free choice man sinned against God and brought sin into the human race. Through the temptation of Satan man transgressed the command of God, and fell from his original innocence whereby his posterity inherit a nature and an environment inclined toward sin. Therefore, as soon as they are capable of moral action, they become transgressors and are under condemnation."
Point of Question: "s soon as they are capable of moral action, they become transgressors and are under condemnation."
Question: This is a statement which lives by the assumption of the age of accountability and the innocence of children prior to this age. In my research of this, I have found more in favor of there being no age of accountability than I have for there being one. What I base my belief on is the understanding of the nature of God being a loving and fair God who would not condemn those who have not had a chance to make a decision one way or the other to follow Christ. I cannot back it scriptural and would like to know how they came up with it here. On the contrary, if you look at the verses they list below supporting the statement, one of them is Psalm 51:5 which states:
" 5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me."
I believe in the age of accountability but only because of hope and not because of Biblical evidence to support it. I cannot fathom the full nature or ways of God and would not dare call it unjust if those too young to know sin and truth were condemned also but I hope in a loving God who forgives and shows unmerited grace to those who never had a chance.
2. Article VIII: Baptism and the Lord's Supper
Statement: "Christian baptism is the immersion of a believer in water in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. It is an act of obedience symbolizing the believer's faith in a crucified, buried, and risen Saviour, the believer's death to sin, the burial of the old life, and the resurrection to walk in newness of life in Christ Jesus. It is a testimony to his faith in the final resurrection of the dead. Being a church ordinance, it is prerequisite to the privileges of church membership and to the Lord's Supper."
Point of question: "it is prerequisite to the privileges of church membership and to the Lord's Supper."
Question: I understand the idea of close communion and the autonomy of the local church, but if a local church decides to offer opened communion (Open to all those who are believers), the idea that all partakers have to be baptized (as in water immersion) prior to partaking in the Lord's Supper seems out of order to me. Water baptism is a symbol of the baptism by the Holy Spirit that takes place immediately when someone becomes a follower of Christ. While I believe that water baptism is the first step of obedience in following Christ, it is not an extra step of salvation and should not be considered a prerequisite for partaking in the remembrance of our Lord and His sacrificial work on the cross. We are no more Christian after being baptized than we are while walking in the water or after we first commit to a saving faith.
Because baptism is the first step of obedience in a walk of faith, could the writers of the Baptist Faith and Message be trying to protect those who have not been baptized from taking the Lord's Supper in an unworthy manner, having not obeyed the first thing yet? I don't know if it is, but it would be a legitimate reason to restrict it.
3. VIII. The Lord's Day
Statement: "The first day of the week is the Lord's Day. It is a Christian institution for regular observance. It commemorates the resurrection of Christ from the dead and should include exercises of worship and spiritual devotion, both public and private. Activities on the Lord's Day should be commensurate with the Christian's conscience under the Lordship of Jesus Christ."
Point of Question: "The first day of the week is the Lord's Day."
Question: I do worship on Sundays, and have my entire Christian life, but is worshiping God corporately only valid on Sunday? Are the Seventh Day Adventist, or even the Seventh Day Baptist (yes, I didn't make that up) wrong for worshiping on Saturday? How about tons of worshipers who worship on Saturday night because it is more convenient, such as at Saddleback? Scripture tells us (again in the quoted in the Biblical references below the statement),
Romans 14:5-6
" 5 One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord."
I have heard militant Seventh Day Adventist talk about those who worship on Sunday instead of the Sabbath and how they are wrong. This could be interpreted the same way.
I guess with all three statements, they seem like none of the proclamations should either be expanded upon or left up to the local church to decide outside of conventional politics.
Eyes getting too tired to stay awake. Time to visit my wife. :D
Upon sitting down with my pastor about what to expect at the council, he suggested I know my testimony, the circumstances of my calling (when and how), and the Baptist Faith and Message.
Much smarter men and learned men in theology have debated these things and have come up with this doctrine of faith, but I have some questions about it. Let me go into the 3 that I found while reading it.
1) Article III, Man
Statement: "By his free choice man sinned against God and brought sin into the human race. Through the temptation of Satan man transgressed the command of God, and fell from his original innocence whereby his posterity inherit a nature and an environment inclined toward sin. Therefore, as soon as they are capable of moral action, they become transgressors and are under condemnation."
Point of Question: "s soon as they are capable of moral action, they become transgressors and are under condemnation."
Question: This is a statement which lives by the assumption of the age of accountability and the innocence of children prior to this age. In my research of this, I have found more in favor of there being no age of accountability than I have for there being one. What I base my belief on is the understanding of the nature of God being a loving and fair God who would not condemn those who have not had a chance to make a decision one way or the other to follow Christ. I cannot back it scriptural and would like to know how they came up with it here. On the contrary, if you look at the verses they list below supporting the statement, one of them is Psalm 51:5 which states:
" 5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me."
I believe in the age of accountability but only because of hope and not because of Biblical evidence to support it. I cannot fathom the full nature or ways of God and would not dare call it unjust if those too young to know sin and truth were condemned also but I hope in a loving God who forgives and shows unmerited grace to those who never had a chance.
2. Article VIII: Baptism and the Lord's Supper
Statement: "Christian baptism is the immersion of a believer in water in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. It is an act of obedience symbolizing the believer's faith in a crucified, buried, and risen Saviour, the believer's death to sin, the burial of the old life, and the resurrection to walk in newness of life in Christ Jesus. It is a testimony to his faith in the final resurrection of the dead. Being a church ordinance, it is prerequisite to the privileges of church membership and to the Lord's Supper."
Point of question: "it is prerequisite to the privileges of church membership and to the Lord's Supper."
Question: I understand the idea of close communion and the autonomy of the local church, but if a local church decides to offer opened communion (Open to all those who are believers), the idea that all partakers have to be baptized (as in water immersion) prior to partaking in the Lord's Supper seems out of order to me. Water baptism is a symbol of the baptism by the Holy Spirit that takes place immediately when someone becomes a follower of Christ. While I believe that water baptism is the first step of obedience in following Christ, it is not an extra step of salvation and should not be considered a prerequisite for partaking in the remembrance of our Lord and His sacrificial work on the cross. We are no more Christian after being baptized than we are while walking in the water or after we first commit to a saving faith.
Because baptism is the first step of obedience in a walk of faith, could the writers of the Baptist Faith and Message be trying to protect those who have not been baptized from taking the Lord's Supper in an unworthy manner, having not obeyed the first thing yet? I don't know if it is, but it would be a legitimate reason to restrict it.
3. VIII. The Lord's Day
Statement: "The first day of the week is the Lord's Day. It is a Christian institution for regular observance. It commemorates the resurrection of Christ from the dead and should include exercises of worship and spiritual devotion, both public and private. Activities on the Lord's Day should be commensurate with the Christian's conscience under the Lordship of Jesus Christ."
Point of Question: "The first day of the week is the Lord's Day."
Question: I do worship on Sundays, and have my entire Christian life, but is worshiping God corporately only valid on Sunday? Are the Seventh Day Adventist, or even the Seventh Day Baptist (yes, I didn't make that up) wrong for worshiping on Saturday? How about tons of worshipers who worship on Saturday night because it is more convenient, such as at Saddleback? Scripture tells us (again in the quoted in the Biblical references below the statement),
Romans 14:5-6
" 5 One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord."
I have heard militant Seventh Day Adventist talk about those who worship on Sunday instead of the Sabbath and how they are wrong. This could be interpreted the same way.
I guess with all three statements, they seem like none of the proclamations should either be expanded upon or left up to the local church to decide outside of conventional politics.
Eyes getting too tired to stay awake. Time to visit my wife. :D
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