This weekend, I went up to Napa for my grandfather's funeral. He died on December 23. It was a rough year for my mom as her mom died in March and her dad in December. We spend the weekend (weekend being Wednesday-Sunday morning) with my step-grandmother. She was a great host -- very gracious and accommodating. Well, Saturday was memorial service and I was asked to coordinate a memorial service for him. It went very well. I'm going to post the eulogy here for your reading remembrance. Let's just say that I am drained -- emotionally, physically from the drive up and back, and mentally from being an extrovert for so long yesterday. I'm just not an extrovert.
It was nice to see family I haven't seen in a while though.
My eulogy for my grandfather, Earlston Edgar Dale:
Part 1 -- Welcome statement:
Today we are gathered here to celebrate the life of Earl Dale. I wanted to start off with a story he once told me about my mother.
It was summer of 1962. The kids were out of school and grandpa was at work. He received a call from home that day. It was my mom. She was 6 years old at the time and loved doing puzzles. Well, he said that she was hysterically crying on the other end of the phone call. “What’s wrong, honey?”
“Daddy, I’m smart, right?”
“Yes dear. What’s wrong?”
“Daddy, I’ve been working on this puzzle for an hour now and I haven’t been able to put two pieces
together.”
“What is it a picture of?”
“It’s a lion.”
“Well honey, keep working on it and I’ll help you out when I get home.”
Well, the day progressed as normal at work. When grandpa got home, there on the coffee table laid
the puzzle, no two pieces put together. My mom sat there with tears in her eyes. With a chuckle, he
walked over and picked up the box.
“Audrey, first, this is a lion, not a tiger. And now, would you please put the cereal back in the box.”
Earlston E. Dale, born Sept. 25, 1931, in Sugarette, N.M., passed away Friday, Dec. 23, 2011. He was 80.
Earlston worked for 35 years in the California State Mental Health System. He was a founding member of the California Association of Psychiatric Technicians (CAPT), serving as their first union president. His hobbies included gardening and bingo. Earl was funny, gregarious and full of joy. He owned more than 350 crazy hats and had a joke for everyone.
Earl is survived by his loving wife, Roz, whom he married on March 17, 1992; his sister, Marci
Dale Lockhart, his children, Stephen W. Dale, Concord, Calif., Kenneth D. Dale, Reno, Nev., Audrey
L. Escarzaga, Hemet, Calif., and Nina S. Jones, Sequim, Wash.; 10 grandchildren; and 19 great-
grandchildren.
He was preceded in death by his daughter, Ruthmarie Dale, and parents, Walter and Lita Dale.
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Part II: The Eulogy:
I was thinking of where I wanted to focus on in giving the eulogy for my
grandfather. How do you come up with some sort of semi-comprehensive speech
about the life of a man so complex and rich in personality without writing books
or spending days in conversation with those who love him best? Looking through
yearbooks and old pictures of him, it is safe to say that he marched to his own
rhythm. He played trombone. He loved a good joke. He was a great writer. He
loved silly hats. He loved to make those around him laugh. He looked snazzy in a
bow tie. He loved bingo, dancing and football. He loved to talk with anyone who
would give him the time of day and even those who wouldn’t.
If we look back on his life, you can see what was important to him by where he
invested his life. Grandpa was quite the investor.
He invested in the enjoyment of others. His silly hats and his jokes are
legendary. Grandpa always was ready with a smile and a story, sometime
true. Grandpa would say the way to remember a joke was to tell it to everyone
you met that day. He not only said it, he lived it. If you spent a day with him, you
would know the joke too.
I was talking to my kids about my grandfather and they remembered being able
to go into his hat room and play. It was a great time for them. While he collected
the hats, they never lost their original intent. The enjoyment was more important
than the items. He lived his life in that simple joy of watching others enjoy life.
He invested in people who could not invest in themselves. The Apostle Paul wrote
in 1 Corinthians, “Praise the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father
of mercies and the God of all comfort. He comforts us in all our affliction, so that
we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the
comfort we ourselves receive from God.” Grandpa worked 35 years for Mental
Health system. He worked as a psych tech, taking care of people in their greatest
time of need. This job took him from San Jose to San Bernardino, then to Sierra
County where he was the entire Mental Health Department. The story goes that
he was once reported to Patient’s Rights because he made one patient laugh so
hard from his jokes that she busted a stitch from a recent surgery. Not only did he
make them laugh, he took good care of them to where they would trust him before
anyone else.
He invested in his co-workers. Grandpa made sure that his people were taken
care of, being instrumental in the formation of the union to take care of Psych
Techs throughout the state. He served as the first president of the union, then as
the steward for years. His nature of talking served him well in this investment
– when management saw Earl Dale coming, wearing his derby, they knew
something was wrong and that he was there to fix it.
He invested in his family. Early in his family life, Grandpa was known to work
three jobs to make ends meet – having 5 kids with bottomless stomachs. But all
this time on the job did not stop him from knowing his family. On trips to sell
Fuller Brushes, he would often take one of the kids with him, traveling from house
to house. The kid would spend the day in the car as Grandpa went door to door
selling brushes. It was time fondly remembered.
When he learned that he was going to be a great-grandfather, he put together
a complete family history spanning generations, to make sure that the future
generations would remember those who came before. He passed on his qualities
to his children and grandchildren. I stand before you today an example of what he
passed on – not just his receding hairline, his tastes in bad jokes and an ungodly
amount of body hair in places that it doesn’t belong, but in his love for life, his love
for people, and his love for his family. Earl Dale’s life on this Earth ended too soon
but is a life well-lived. I can imagine Grandpa walking the streets of gold today
with Jesus chuckling, saying, “tell me that one about Andy again. That one never
gets old.” May he rest in peace.
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We buried Grandpa's ashes in a park in Napa right behind the State Hospital where he worked for so many years. He was buried with his favorite derby hat.
