Sometimes I wonder if the bad news ever stops coming...
First of all, God is good. I could be depressed right now, but I'm not. Plenty of reason to be, but I'm not and I give God the credit for that.
A friend of mine went to prison yesterday. I'm not going into the details, but I was able to spend some time with him on Tuesday night. I thought I was going to have to go in and try to reassure him that God has not abandoned him but God got a hold of him that morning and showed him that He had not abandoned him, which made for a much better evening :) "I was in prison and you came to me..."
Something else occurred to me last night and I hope it is the activity of an over-active imagination pushed one way a little too much. In my imagination, I picture myself having finally pulled my head out of the sand to see the knife about to be plunged into my back at the same time as a friend of mine is having the knife plunged into his. I know about the friend but it is not my place to save him because I do not have the authority and it is not definite yet (although it is close.) I see how they are treating him and turn around to see that the same thing may be happening behind my back. How safe am I?
Once I started putting pieces together last night, things started to make sense but I hope my sense is nonsense because of the implications. Perhaps I have burned too many bridges. Perhaps I have responded wrong too many times. Perhaps things are better off there without me. It all may be true, but if it is the case, I do wish someone would have the integrity to come to me and tell me to my face that this is the case. I am hoping, again, that my imagination is working overtime and this is all for naught. I am excited for the future and see great things that God can do and would love to be part of it.
Time to get to work and put the imagination away. I covet your prayers though.
