15 Days

Alright.  I was at work today and began to talk about some of the stuff that has happened over the last 2 weeks and realized that it has been packed.  I need to write some of this down so my memory doesn't fade in time and I can refer back and say, despite all the highs and lows, it has been a very good two weeks.

So why?

I started my vacation on Friday, November 9th.  I was going to be off of work for 5 days officially, from Friday to Monday with 2 weekends and Veteran's Day in between.  Not bad, 10 days for 5 vacation.  And like any good vacation, this one was starting with the return of one of my favorite bands doing an album party at a local venue.  The OC Supertones just released a new album and it is fantastic.  So my wife and I waited until the kids got off school, then took them out to Hemet to spend the night with my parents.  We then headed to Pomona to the Glass House to have a skatastic good time.  Well, Becca went to Winter Jam with a couple of the college girls from church and then spent the night out at CBU.  She had fun but I think our concert was better.  The Insyderz were pretty good (Trina liked them a lot more than I did) and the Supertones rocked the house.  Here's one of their new songs they did as an encore -- not quite rocking but very, very cool.  The Supertones have all grown up, like me I guess.




So Saturday morning we went back out and picked up Becca then picked up Micah, Ali and Zoe from Hemet and really didn't do much that I remember.  Kinda relaxing like that.

Sunday was Veteran's day at church.  It's nice that the twins are learning to appreciate our nation's veterans and that they hug me and thank me for my service.  They're sweet.  After church, I visited my grandpa who was in the hospital.  He had a major infection in his leg that led to a heart attack.  He was suffering with dementia and Alzheimer's and didn't really remember me at all the last time I saw him, so it was nice to sit and listen to him snore during my visit.  It gave me a chance to remember who he was, how he affected my life and how much I really admired him.  I guess shortly after I left, they moved him out to a rest home in Redlands (about 30 miles away instead of 1 mile when I visited him) so I guess I had good timing.

Monday was a stay-at-home day.  I need those more than occasionally.

Tuesday, we went out to our friend's house, Steve and Shelley, who live literally in the middle of nowhere, half way between Lake Perris and Lake Elsinore in the boonies, about 5 miles from the nearest 2 lane paved road.  We go out there, we hike on their hill and rocks in their back yard, we get away from electronics and stuff (although she had me look at their computer, after starting the generator), and just chill with friends.  Hermit living.  Parts of that are really appealing but others are not, such as totally remodeling the house.  After the visit, we took the kids to the drive in theater and watched Wreck It Ralph.  Very good movie.

Wednesday Trina had class.  We were running late and traffic from our house to CBU is horrible, so we took side streets.  I got pulled over and got my first moving violation ticket, speeding.  I have to pay it by January 25th, which I'm sure will be some extraordinary amount after court fees, taxes, processing fees, the cost of the officer's fuel, a new helmet, 14 boxes of pens and the original fine for speeding.  Yeah, I got caught.  Yeah I signed that I would pay fines when I agreed to get my license.  But I've never been in favor of an officer of the law being a tax collector.  The fine is one thing.  The fees and extras that triple the cost of the fine is another in the long arm of big government.

Thursday, I received a call from my mom that my grandpa had passed away about an hour earlier.  She mentioned that Dad would like me to help his pastor, my former boss and a pastor I respect greatly, conduct the funeral.  I had done both of my grandparent's funerals on my mom's side but this one was going to be a little different.  Ok, a lot.  I barely knew my maternal grandparents due to the distance we lived from them. I cried because I knew my mom and my aunt were going to miss them greatly.  This one hit closer to home as growing up, we lived a block away from my paternal grandparents.  We spent holidays and some weekends over there. I didn't have the detachment that made the services for the other side less taxing.  I knew it was something that I would need to do though, for my dad, my extended family and myself, knowing that as an ordained pastor I could bring perspective to his death and share that it was not the end but that heaven is real.    So I began thinking.

Friday, we didn't do much.  Hostess closed and I made a lot of twinkie remarks.  I went over to my friend Tom's house and brought some Hostess cupcakes and a box of Twinkies -- which I got both for $2 as Stater Bros has the wrong price on the shelf and you get one free if they do that.  So I got discounted fake bakery cakes on discount that now sell on e-bay for 3.5 million dollars.  Take that economy of price gouging!

Saturday, my wife and I were supposed to go out to another friend's house but he had a sick kid and so that was scrapped.  We had a babysitter though so date night!  We went to dinner, walked around Costco, and saw Argo.  Another good movie.

Sunday, church.  I am really starting to like cooking.  I usually do it all in one pan though, so is it really cooking or just combining ingredients and heating?  My kids seem to like it so I am good.

Monday I went back to work.  Missing one week was hard because there is always a pile of work on your desk when you get back.  Knowing that I only had a day and a half to organize it and try to start putting a dent in it would be hard enough if our office wasn't also in the middle of writing a grant for funding, meaning I had quite a few special projects that required some expertise on finding numbers through our local database and the state-wide database which I do pretty quickly.  So I got some work done and worked on these major projects on Monday and half of Tuesday because Tuesday I was leaving early to go to the viewing.  We've got great bereavement benefits.

Tuesday, half day at work.  Got what I could done.  Left at 2 pm.  Went to the funeral home.  No family there yet.  Went to the graveyard.  The hole was dug right next to Grandma's headstone.  I took out some spray cleaner and wiped off her headstone, and stood there, starring at the wood covering the hole that would be the final resting place for the body of my grandfather.  What was I going to say tomorrow?  I had some ideas but I wanted to wait until people got to speak on Tuesday night to see if I could steal anything.  The viewing went well.

Wednesday started out in Hemet as we spent the night out there.  I was up until 1 am thinking and writing the eulogy.  Then their couches aren't very sleeper friendly, meaning I was tired on what was going to be a busy, stressful and social day.

10 am, we start and I deliver the eulogy.  Here's a link to it: http://pastor4kids.blogspot.com/2012/11/reynaldo-leon-escarzaga-eulogy-11212012.html

Dale does the sermonette, a clear call of salvation.  I hope it reached some.  At the gravesite I was able to lead in prayer and then stood and watched as my final grandparent was lowered into the ground, knowing that he was no longer here, no longer in pain and mental deterioration but it was tough still.  That generation is gone in my family.  When the service members folded the flag and presented it to my uncle, I had to fight back tears as I too was grateful for his service and he always did our family and our country proud.

After that we headed back to Tio Rey's house for food and family time.  It was nice but I really was socialed out by the end.

Thursday was Thanksgiving so I couldn't be a recluse.  We got to Trina's grandma's apartment for breakfast and spent the morning there.  I was probably too reclusive there but I think people understood.  Thursday afternoon/evening was going to be harder.  We went to my parents house and joined a group of about 40 people celebrating Thanksgiving as a huge family.  I watched football and conversated when I needed to.

Black Friday is Trina's favorite day of the year.  She goes out at midnight and fights the crowds.  Me, I stay home with the kids and hope I get to go out about 10 am the next day to see the carnage, clothes and toys strewn across the store, ripped to shreds by eager shoppers who just hours earlier were thankful for what they had.  I didn't get to go see it this year as Trina was doing some different things.  I did get out around 4 pm to take Trina's mom home and then drive to different stores to see the leftovers.  I was planning for Saturday too.

Saturday was a big day.  It is Five Iron Frenzy Day.  November 22, 2003, Five Iron Frenzy retired.  November 22, 2011, Five Iron Frenzy became zombies and rocked again.  November 22, 2012 was Thanksgiving so it was decided that we should have some regional get togethers to celebrate the zombification of FIF and I was hosting the Southern California one.  I chose a beach out in Ventura (Marina Park - quite the beautiful park with great amenities -- highly recommended.)  So my kids and I took off on Saturday morning to hang out at a park and beach 2 hours from home in order to meet fellow Five Iron Frenzy fans.  Well, no one showed up until around 1pm -- we got there at 10:30 am.  It was nice though.  We played as a family, ate lunch, slowed down and looked around.  It was nice family time.  Then Nick, his wife Tiffany, and their daughter showed up and our kids played like they had known each other for years.  It was really nice to meet Nick and I hope that isn't the last time.

So the kids went nutso when we drove through Hollywood and you can see the Hollywood sign from the 101.  We reached our destination and H.G. Wells was expecting us behind some desk somewhere with the standard Rich and Famous contract in their minds.  It made me laugh and enjoy the trip.

Sunday I washed dishes.

So that was my unexpected 2 week vacation.  Ups and down, but like Grandpa, not too high and not too low.  I'm pretty sure I inherited that from him.

Reynaldo Leon Escarzaga - Eulogy - 11/21/2012

Reynaldo L. Escarzaga Sr. was born on May 11, 1927 to Ramon and Candy Escarzaga in Riverside, California. Grandpa was so gungho about serving his country that he lied about his age and joined the Army at the age of 17 during World War II, serving as a supply truck driver in Italy where he earned the Army of Occupation and World War II Victory medals. After leaving active duty service, he worked for 35 years at Norton Air Force Base as a Pipe Fitter maintaining the heating and air conditioning systems throughout the base.
Rey was preceded in death by his wife of 49 years, Carmen Escarzaga. He is survived by his five children, Marian, David, Thomas, Cindy, and Rey Jr., Sister Emma Gutierrez, and Brother Henry Escarzaga. He also leaves a heritage of 15 grandchildren and 19 great-grandchildren.
May 11, 1927 to November 15, 2012.  For those who pass his grave, there will be little else to remember him by but the day of his birth and the day that he left this world.  To us in this room, the days between those two have changed our world and have made us better people because we knew Grandpa. 

What kind of man is he?  For me, his overwhelming quality was what could be called stoicism, or his even-manner.  Grandpa was not one who wore his emotions on his sleeve.  The highs never got too big and the lows too low.  He was very even keeled.  That is not to say that he was emotionless though.  When he was proud of you, he would get a half smile, nod his head and get a tear in his eye.  His love for his wife, children and grandchildren guided his life every step of the way. You could say that his emotions ran deep and pure, greater than what could be outwardly expressed in his mild-mannered way.

He was a committed volunteer.  Grandpa not only loved his kids but loved his kid’s friends.  He coached Little League at Del Rosa Little League for 20 years.  I heard testimony yesterday from one of the moms whose boys played for Grandpa and she still remembers the time he invested in them, not only teaching them baseball but building character, loyalty and courage in their lives.  I learned from him that when I have a passion for something, I need to do it with to the best of my abilities and spread the passion to those around, touching their lives, helping them grow.  I am still involved in Little League because my grandpa believed in Little League.  I am involved with the community because he helped his be a better place.

Grandpa was a provider. Some people show their love to others by giving gifts, others by saying “I love you.”  Grandpa showed his love by providing for the needs of his family.  He worked for 35 years at Norton Air Force Base in a job many would not consider glamorous but he did his job and did it well.  When raising five kids in a small house required more than his day job paid, he found a way to make it work through teaching himself small appliance repair.  Even this was more than just earning a buck though, it was to help out those in need even if they couldn’t pay.

Grandpa was hospitable.  Growing up, I always thought it was strange when we visited Grandpa’s house that my dad would walk up to the front door, check the mail box, and then walk right in.  That wasn’t what I was taught about other people’s houses but it was appropriate here because Grandpa’s house was the family’s house.  Even though my dad had moved away, got married, and had 3 kids, the door was always open on Holly Vista for a visit, a quick peak in the refrigerator, and a chance to sit, talk, watch some TV where apparently I took my dad’s place as the remote control, and be with grandma and grandpa.  Holidays were always a major event where the families got together, the adults talked inside and us cousins would go entertain ourselves outside, trying not to get caught and get in trouble.  Grandpa’s house was comfortable and safe – a place where we could go and slow down, enjoy life, and be family.

Grandpa was a team player.  One of his favorite pastimes was bowling.  Grandpa was a fantastic bowler yet the team was always most important to him.  If the team needed him to throw a strike, he threw a strike.  If they needed him to throw a spare or miss a few pins to keep the team handicap down, he would do whatever was needed.  He was so good that other teams thought they brought in a ringer, a retired professional to guarantee they would win – which his team did. A lot.  He never tried to be the superstar but because he was such a great team player, he was. 

Grandpa was loyal and committed.  He was a man of integrity who kept his word and taught that quality to his children.  This was best demonstrated by his marriage.  He was married to Grandma for 49 years, through years of illness and hospitalizations, yet he stayed by Grandma’s side through everything.  I remember writing to my grandma when I was in the Navy and she would brag about how great Grandpa was and how much she loved him.  His love brought her comfort through the painful times.  His example guides me still as there are always family issues but running away is never an option – Grandpa would stick it through.

One of the last things my grandfather said to me was that he was going to beat me up for smiling.  Not quite as good as Amanda’s story yesterday.  The last few years have been hard for us as many of the qualities we loved about grandpa started to fade but his strength, his loyalty and his love continued to shine through.  Now that he has shuffled off this mortal coil, the pain is gone.  The disabilities have ceased.  I’d like to think that as Grandpa enters Heaven, Jesus is there to greet him with a half-smile, a nod of the head and a tear in his eye and welcomes him into his rest.  I look forward to the day when I will meet him again in joy.