Accountability

Proverbs 27:17
17 As iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another.

Here I am in beautiful Windsor, California spending some time with family, going to church with my grandpa, spending time seeing his hat collection and going different ways between Windsor and Napa to find beauty in God's creation and I have been thinking about this blog all week. A friend of mine entrusted me with some things in order to keep him accountable. I was able to share with him some things that I needed to be accountable for also.
You may think that since I was ordained last week I must have it all together. After all, what church would be foolish enough to ordain someone who doesn't have it all together. Well, let me let you in on a little secret... God doesn't call people when they are perfect or ready. Look at the life of Moses. God called him after 40 years of humbling him to the point where Moses no longer believed he was able to do anything, 40 years after he tried to rescue the Hebrews on his own power because of his own position and it took 40 years for God to break him completely before God could use him in mighty ways. Likewise, I am not the spiritual giant you would expect someone to be as a pastor. I struggle with pride. I struggle with slothfulness. I struggle with lust.
Most people have never heard my full testimony. There are some that I have felt close enough and trusted enough to give the darker parts of my past in order to know me, my walk with the Lord, and my struggles. Let me just share that for too many years in my life I did the right thing because it was the right thing and not because of my love for the Lord. I was a good kid. I put off that persona and no matter how hard I was struggling on the inside, I was the good kid.
I was called to the ministry when I was 9 years old. I knew from that point that God had a special calling on my life and that I needed to keep my nose clean. But as I grew as a teenager, it became less about the calling and more about keeping my nose clean. I was an example to other people -- which in and of itself is not a bad thing -- but the motivation was wrong. It wasn't love. It was pride. I was prideful that I could put on the show of being good while my heart was lazy. Yeah, I served faithfully and hard but the life was mostly on the outside.
I survived the Navy as the good boy. Pornography was all over the place and I got into that some but tried not to show it outside. I knew my personality and knew that if I got into any vices, they would stick and it would be too hard to get out of, so I have never drank, smoked, or done drugs. I gambled some while I was in Hobart but God made sure I didn't go overboard by breaking my ATM card :)
Like I said though, I was the good kid.
My struggles now are more with computers in general and not manning up and doing what is needed because I complain about either being tired or just not wanting to. I know I need to spend less time on the computer and more time being with my kids, my wife, and my chores.
So if you are to pray for me, pray that I get my priorities straight in my personal life and not worry about being seen as 'the good boy' and really become the 'follower of Christ' in my everyday life.

We need to be accountable to someone.

James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

More on this later.

Tony